Moral Dilemma

I'm torn in half over a situation regarding my neighbors.  About 6 months ago a couple moved into the house on our left, they were expecting a child together- though the wife had 3 children from previous relationships that were currently in care.  My hubby ran into them at the local pub, chatted with them and told me despite the fact that the other kids were in care and he had some run-in's with the law in the past, they seemed like a nice couple trying to get their life on track.

A month after they moved in we overheard the first fight- OMG it was a big one. It was at 3 in the morning: screaming, throwing things (that I could gather from the ruckus) and I think he might have struck her..... I was livid. I was a victim of domestic abuse with my first husband. This kind of thing does not fly with me. Plus I knew she was pregnant!!! Who hits a pregnant woman?? I demanded my husband call the cops, but by that time it seemed someone else had beaten us to the punch and the cops were there. The husband was removed and we didn't see hide nor hair of him until 4 months later when the baby was due.

During the time he was absent social workers were bringing her kids by more and more- and eventually they were returned to her to live full time. I was happy for her, despite the fact she now had 4 kids on her own she seemed to be doing well. Then the Husband came back. We have heard a few rows from them since he's been back- but nothing like that first fight. Then last night I heard it again. They are so loud they woke me from a dead sleep at 4:30 in the morning. Screaming, yelling, and then a scuffle. I woke my husband up and told him we needed to do something, we can't just listen to this and ignore it. He listened to the exchange and apparently there was someone else there who managed to kick the husband out of the house. I've had it though- somebody needs to protect these kids. I told my husband I want to call the UK's version of child protective services. He told me no, not to get involved, that he couldn't risk the retaliation that might occur if the couple found out it was us.

I'm home by myself 5 days a week with my 6 month old while my DH is off to work across town. Apparently when my hubby spent that night in the pub with them the husband confessed some pretty shady past doings. He worries that if we blow the whistle on them that he wouldn't have a problem hurting me or the baby to get back at us. I still want to call- but I don't want to my DH to think I'm being dramatic or to worry about us while he's away.

Is there a way to anonymously make a complaint? Should I just mind my own business and hope for the best? I haven't actually seen him hit her- she hasn't admitted to any abuse, but it sounds like the two are physically going at it.

Sorry for the long post- I'm just torn between trying to do the right thing and not putting my own family in harms way. 

Oh what a tragic situation. I hate hearing about this kind of stuff      I'd call I think, I'd imagine it can be anonymous call?  The kids don't need to be in the middle of that.      

I'm sure you can report this anonymously either via Social Services or the NSPCC.  I seem to recall this retaliation thing being an issue a while ago and they then tried to make it possible to report things whilst staying anonymous.  If you go your local Council or County Council's website you may be able to make an on-line report (I have done this with my County Council and had no come-back.

I spoke with my MIL today about it, she said you can leave tips and complaints without leaving a name. Think I'm going to have to report it..

Definitely report it.  That sounds so scary.  What a dilemma to have to decide whether to report it.  I'm sure you can do it anonymously though and I doubt the father could figure out it was you over any other neighbors or even the kids teachers.  I'm sure the Child Protection people can figure out a way to make sure they don't know it is you.  It would make sense for them to follow-up from the mum getting the kids back anyway.

You can definitely do it anonymously.  I remember from my Safeguarding Children training if you work with children and report something about a child you work with you can't be anonymous but neighbours you can.

Aye you can definitely do it anonymously we do child protection courses in the course of our job. Your neighbour will never know it was you.. I mean after all if things are that bad any of the nearby neighbours are prolly going through the same thoughts as you.
Good Luck and let us know what happens.

Will do- cross your fingers for me that things work out alright. 

What's been happening? Have Social Services been to visit? Hope the family and yours are all ok!

So, update!

  The same day I posted this our neighbor cornered my husband while he parked his motorcycle outside our home. She has a cast over her lower leg, and swore it was from climbing the 10 ft wall around her backyard...(uh huh- sure it was  ) He told her to come inside, she wanted to apologize for the fight that we over heard, and swore it wasn't her... It was her cousin and her husband. hmmm... Don't think so.  In any case, we ended up having a conversation about domestic violence- I told her my story, and that if she ever needed anything all she had to do was come over, or even in an emergency just bang on the wall and we would call the police for her. She laughed off most of it, but at least she knows we are aware of whats going on.  We did still call and make a report. I felt I owed it to the kids. The Dad wasn't there for at least a week after the fight and I saw a few government looking people coming and going from the house. So far there has been no new fights (that we can hear anyways) and no bricks through the window!   I feel like one of those nosey neighbors that is always looking out the window, but after I made the call I got a bit paranoid about the brick thing so I was being hyper-vigilant!  Thanks to everybody's suggestions. I hate being in the center of these things. 

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing! What a scary situation not just for your neighbor, but you guys as well and I think what you did was for the safety of everyone! Hopefully your neighbor will gain the confidence and strength to stand up for herself and not let this happen anymore either! Maybe she will see her worth is far more valuable than what she is being treated and see that people do care!

I hope things get much better for you all!