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Topic: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...  (Read 2560 times)

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Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« on: May 30, 2011, 09:30:04 PM »


It goes without saying that my American partner and I are deeply in love, it may also be cliche to say all we want is to be together, but it doesn't make it any less true.

We've been working towards a settled life here in the UK for almost two years, playing everything by the book, jumping through every hoop and meeting every requirement.

Still, one year to the day (virtually to the hour) since we parted in the airport lounge our PCP visa application was turned down. The reasons were no more than subjective, using phrases like "balance of probabilities' and "I therefore think".

It's difficult not to feel sad or impotent that your life is on hold and your feelings are hostage to arithmetic. I'm not a young man anymore and I waited too long already to find this much love and be showered by this much devotion to give up, ever.

But, to me, the added cruel twist in all this, something few will ever suffer (nor would I want them too) is this agonising wait for what could be months for what amounts to a court ruling on the value of my happiness and the worth of my love.

To borrow from an English football hooligans chant: Long distance love; come and have a go if you think you're tuff enough.

Sorry for the self-pity folks. To Felix, I love you truly. 


Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2011, 03:59:22 AM »
i'm very sorry that your visa was rejected!  : (   i hope the appeal goes in your favor.


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2011, 12:21:56 PM »
I'm very sorry Traper.  Hope it goes in your favour and love prevails all. (((Hugs)))
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Work permit (2007) to British Citizen (2014)
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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2011, 12:27:44 PM »
I'm so sorry Trapper.  I think many of us have felt the government can hold our lives hostage if the want by simply denying a visa.  It can feel like a personal insult, but try not to take it that way because in all honesty they don't know you.  They are only looking at bits of paper and it is tough that our lives are revolving around these bits of paper.  All the very best with your court hearing!


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2011, 01:13:51 PM »
I'm so sorry Trapper.  I think many of us have felt the government can hold our lives hostage if the want by simply denying a visa.  It can feel like a personal insult, but try not to take it that way because in all honesty they don't know you.  They are only looking at bits of paper and it is tough that our lives are revolving around these bits of paper.  All the very best with your court hearing!

Mr K and I battled visa denials as well, and persephone is SO right...you can't take it personally.  On a positive note, it seems to me that the UK government is much more reasonable in their decisions when things go to an appeal.  Just do what they request and you will be together soon!

Good luck.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2011, 02:54:15 PM by Karrit »
“I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.” ~David Sedaris


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2011, 02:33:11 PM »
Terrible news! I really hope you can get things sorted out soon!
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. ~ John Lennon


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2011, 05:21:49 PM »
I hope it gets sorted as soon as possible for you.  I'm really sorry.  :(
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

- from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen (b 1934)


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2011, 07:27:10 PM »
My fiance and I have decided to get married in the states first in a small ceremony before I move to the UK where we're planning a bigger wedding. Would that be a possibility for you? It seems easier to get a spousal visa than a fiance visa. Best of luck in your journey.


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2011, 07:37:31 PM »
My fiance and I have decided to get married in the states first in a small ceremony before I move to the UK where we're planning a bigger wedding. Would that be a possibility for you? It seems easier to get a spousal visa than a fiance visa. Best of luck in your journey.

The OP is in a civil partnership, so I'm assuming they cannot marry/register their civil partnership legally in the US.

For the record though, there isn't really any difference between getting a fiance (or proposed civil partnership) visa vs. a spousal (or civil partnership) visa in terms of ease of getting one - both essentially use the same application form, both require almost the same documentation (the only real difference is the marriage certificate for the spousal visa) and they are both lumped together under 'settlement' visas for processing statistics (on average, both fiance and spousal visa applications made in the US have an approval rate of about 98%).


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Re: Sometimes feels like a cruel twist...
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2011, 12:43:19 PM »
The OP is in a civil partnership, so I'm assuming they cannot marry/register their civil partnership legally in the US.

I'm confused about OP's situation--is it a same sex relationship?

If so, come to New York State--gay marriage is legal as of last Sunday! Six states down, 44 to go!


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