Getting married in the good old US of A

Well after figuring out how much paperwork and stress and aggravation will be involved with trying to get married in the UK, we have decided against an elopement in Scotland and are going to have a wedding in America! it's gone from just the two of us in Scotland, to the two of us and our parents in Scotland, to an intimate, immediate family only wedding at home, to okay, let's invite all the extended family and close friends to a big  (well it seems big after it originally just being the two of us)! Wedding of 50 to 75 guests!
Trying to make it as stress free as possible, at this stage it's still fun to plan, will see how I am in 9 months when the big day arrives! Thank you to you all who posted replies to my question about the marriage visitor visa, this place really is great for advice and information!
It's going to be interesting when all the UK and Ireland people arrive for the wedding, as it will be in New York state, upstate NY, in a small little town where I am from, I am afraid they will all hear New York and think, New York City here I come and be a bit disappointed   to arrive in small town USA  but hopefully it will be a good time for all!

Sounds good to me! I'm totally against wedding stress.

I'm sure the uk/Irish guests will love a new change of surroundings even if it's not what they've seen on tv. Plus, can't they take public transport over to all of the tourist areas?

Well they could if there was such a thing as public transportation where I am from! It is a very rural area! I am guessing that a lot of people will come for the wedding then hit NYC before or after the wedding day, it's on the Saturday before Easter vacation-
From what my DF is telling me, they will also be shocked at a little five hour reception, he said weddings are a very big all day/night affair and the next day too in the UK and in Ireland and it won't quite be like that over here! 

I'm in NYC and we have a bunch of people coming over from the UK to our wedding.  I'm originally from Maryland and my mom wanted the wedding to be there.  She actually refused to give me my relative’s addresses or phone numbers until I’d agree to it.  I’m a city girl at heart and wanted to get married in Manhattan.  DF didn’t want to drag his family down to middle of nowhere MD.  We ended up having to compromise on Jersey City and I kick myself every day for it.  You should get married where you want to get married. That was a bit of a tangent. 

Our wedding is in the middle of the day; my mom has accused me of having an ‘English’ wedding (whatever that is) because of this.  I did it because I wanted it to be easier for people who didn’t want to get hotel rooms could drive up and back in the same day.  The point of this long thing is that we are having an after party, just a casual thing.  Telling everyone who wants to come what bar in Manhattan we’ll be at.  We are ordering a bit of food, but letting everyone buy their own drinks. 

I thought about doing it in Manhattan too as I live just outside of the city, but I just thought it would be more special to have it in my hometown... Our church ceremony is at 3:00, then the reception at 5:30, so it will be over at around 10:30/11. Though now after seeing how you are doing yours in the middle of the day I am now thinking of changing the times, to do something similar to what you are doing for the OOT'ers, (sorry for possibly shamelessly stealing your idea)!! Its still in the early stages of planning so it could be done, have to talk to DF and see what he thinks, though I also like the idea of having the whole day to get ready and have lots of wiggle room for 'worst case scenerios'!
I think, I hope that his family won't mind coming up to the middle of nowhere, even though there is not much to do, except Walmart and the Dollar Stores  , it is very scenic (Catskill Mountains) and hopefully by the end of March there will be green leaves and some flowers blooming.....
I am sorry you had to compromise on your location, my mother was the same way when we were talking about the castle in Scotland, or even doing it in London, also have always wanted a winter wedding in December, mom shot that one down too! Its amazing the power they have no matter what age you are haha!

Don’t worry about stealing my ideas!  I have a coworker and close friend who got married over this past weekend.  Since January we’ve basically been planning our weddings together.  I think I’m the only one who knew everything and vise versa.    I needed some way to hide the Union Jack flag DF’s mom wanted on the table.  It wouldn’t match my pretty purplness, so I ended up ordering crackers, as in Christmas crackers, but silver.  My friend, blatantly stole the idea!  I’m not really mad, in fact, it was nice seeing what it would look like!

Oh crackers! I like that idea! Don't have to worry about union jacks anywhere, as even though he is from London, his parents are from Ireland, so don't think they would appreciate union jacks all over the place haha! I was also thinking about purples and blues for colors, now you have to post pics after your wedding so I can steal more ideas haha!

When FMIL first told me about wanting the flags I was panicked.  Obviously I want to get along with the woman, but red, white and blue next to purple!  One of my English friends told me that should could picture an OAP in a big hat running around putting Union Jacks on everything and me in my white dress running around after her picking them up!

In the end I didn’t even get flags, but instead put my maid of honor to work.  She’s a graphic designer and she put together overlapping but transparent Union Jack and American flags with our names and the date on it.  I had the put on magnets. 

Haha that is a funny image, running round after the OAP grabbing the flags!
Did you use the magnets for the STD?  They sound very nice! I found some cute I 'heart' New York postcards online, I think I am going to use those for STD's, will have a  rubberstamp made up with the info. and off they go, that is if DF ever gets his side of the guest list together, he is convinced that no one will want to come to the US for our wedding and thinks he has to talk to everyone personally first! Aurgghh I need numbers!
You know I really like the idea of the crackers on the tables, will have to investigate further to see if you can get them filled with what you want instead of the usual...

We ordered them from http://www.oldenglishcrackers.com/christmas-crackers-c-54.html.  We've ordered them empty and will fill them ourselves. 

DF spoke to all of his family as well and they ended up finding a travel agent that would get them all a package deal.  A few people who had said yes changed their minds when it was time to pay up.  It's hard to ask people to spend all that cash and vacation time for a wedding. 

That's sort of the challenge to having a wedding in the boondocks.  The DF's guests are happy and excited to come to NYC, it would have not even remotely been the case had we gotten married in MD.  It would have been his mom and that's about it.  Now we have 11 coming over.

The magnets are going to go in the crackers along with some US and UK candies and a fortune cookie.  It sounds odd, but we met in Hong Kong and I wanted a bit of Chinese representation in there as well.  And yes, I know that fortune cookies were invinted in CA.  It's just the easiest and cheapest thing I could come up with. 

Thanks for the link, I've checked them out and already thinking of what I can fill them with! That's a good idea to use a travel agent for a package deal for the flight at least or a group rate or something, I keep telling DF to talk to his mother, she would have a better idea as far as the relatives who would be able to or want to make the journey over here.
The wedding date is set for the Saturday before Easter vacation, I know his sister is talking about going to Disneyworld after, so maybe some of the relatives would want to combine the wedding with a family vacation here in America. That is why I keep bugging him for a guest list so we can let people know so they can start planning if they want to come over!
I checked out some sites for weddings in NYC, just to see prices etc....and thought my head would explode if I went that route, I was thinking after reading your post that perhaps if it was in NYC, it would entice more of them over Though it is only a 2 hour drive up from the city and it is in the Catskills, its very pretty and picturesque and its a lot different from London though a lot like Ireland lol so hopefully the friends and family  that he would like to come will be able to make it then they can go back to the city the next day and carry on with whatever it is they want to do. I do know what you mean about asking people to spend all that money and vacation time just to come to our wedding that's why we chose the date we did, thinking if the kids are off from school might make it a little easier with the planning if they could or would make the journey, its not easy trying to make everyone happy, we are just going to carry on as is and other than having a wedding in both countries there is not much more that can be done to make every singe person happy!
 Thank you for all the brilliant ideas by the way, you should become a transatlantic wedding planner!

My fiancée and I are getting married in the US next month   We're just doing a very simple civil ceremony.  I haven't invited any family or friends over, although I think her parents and brothers will be attending.  We're going for the simple option now then, after she gets her visa and moves over to the UK, we're gonna plan something bigger.  It'll be great to get all of her friends and family over to the UK for a "second wedding" and it'll also give my family and friends a chance to share in the experience