boys and toy guns

So my 3 and 5 year old boys are finally at the age where toy guns, swords, lasers, etc. are inevitable. Frankly, I'm surprised we got this far!

I'm not a fan of the zero tolerance policy many parents and schools have adopted but I do believe there should be strict guidelines. I'm just not sure where they are. I don't want to hear little boys say 'I'm going to kill you' but am not so bothered by 'I'm going to kill the monster'.

So far we don't own any toy guns or lasers here, just some foam swords from a pirate ship trip we took. But they are getting exposed to them by friends and school mates. Neither of my boys play video games yet so I don't have to worry abou that for some time.

Anyone else been down this road yet?

Yup.  My DS was able to make things with real lego, so whatever age that happens (3 maybe?) and he made this thing he called a "washing machine".  I asked him how it worked and he described a gun to a 't', right up to the little black piece that was exactly where the trigger should be and he said "you have to put your  finger there and push". 

Now in our house at that time, we were living in Canada where guns are just not seen, we were very careful about tv so I know he wasn't seeing them on tv and we no how ever had toy guns in the house (not even water pistols at that time) and video games were just not a part of our lives.    I know someone whose son made a gun out of his toast.  where do they get that?

Once the "washing machine" became a part of our lives, I made sure there were strict guidelines about the safety of using said washing machine.  I grew up with guns as my dad was a hunter, but he made darn sure we followed strict safety guidelines such as never pointing it at a person or pet etc.. I insisted on the same guidelines for the "washing machine".   

Definitely.  Guns are all over the place at my parents house, in fact my father took my 8 yr old shooting for the first time just 3 days ago.  We have always had frequent talks about gun safety. However, when it comes to plastic toys or guns or swords made out of lego, the rule in our home is we are not allowed to shoot people.  I'm aware not everyone is comfortable with guns, so I wouldn't want my son to freak anyone out by going up to them and pointing a fake gun in their face.  So far we haven't had any problems. 

 I think you can't protect kids from guns or weapons forever- so setting up restrictions ahead of time will make things easier in the long run. 

Thanks ladies. That was pretty much what I was thinking. I guess I just get bogged down by the details (i.e. it's ok to shoot 'monsters' but not ok to shoot 'bad guys').

I know, I think too hard, but my younger son is exactly the type to query the rules.

I gave up even trying. Once Philip was I dunno, 6 maybe... if I was going to be a stickler about it I'd have had to keep him away from pretty much every boy in his school, his brother, the neighbors....

In the end I figured that boys have been playing guns for years and years and that is *probably* not what turns certain people into psycho killers.

I guess I do draw a line though, they aren't allowed to point anything in anyone's face - - and as thats pretty much the only fake-gun rule I have ( and we are talking guns made out of sticks and flower stems here ) - perhaps that is why they follow that rule, as it clearly pisses me off.

I don't find that gun play has affected their behaviour at ALL, in any way shape or form, as they are both really happy, kind, social etc.... perhaps my littlest one will be the psychopath but that is a little too early to tell at the moment!

No, it won't turn them into psycho killers - my DS is now 17 and has definitely not shown psycho killer tendencies to date (there's still time, I guess...). 

I do think when boys pick up weapons, it is a great time to teach how these weapons are used and the consequences of using them irresponsibly.  I don't see any difference between toys and the real thing because in a little kid's mind, there is no difference but the consequences of the real thing is ginormous. 

I do think when boys pick up weapons, it is a great time to teach how these weapons are used and the consequences of using them irresponsibly.

Yes.

Girls should learn this, too.

Thanks for all the input again. My sons have not been exposed to the idea of 'death' yet and don't get what 'kill' means. Nevertheless, I can still try to teach them some concepts. I like the idea of no 'guns' in faces, Marlespo, thanks.

I have a bit of an issue in that my older son really struggles with language comprehension so I have to keep things for him on a very basic level.

Thanks for all the input again. My sons have not been exposed to the idea of 'death' yet and don't get what 'kill' means. Nevertheless, I can still try to teach them some concepts. I like the idea of no 'guns' in faces, Marlespo, thanks.

I have a bit of an issue in that my older son really struggles with language comprehension so I have to keep things for him on a very basic level.

But they can understand hurting so maybe start with that.

Yes.

Girls should learn this, too.

Absolutely. 

I never allowed toy guns of any kind in the house and had a big problem with water guns too. Kids and their imaginations can turn almost anything into a gun...a fork a finger, a fish stick (finger) you name it and they use it. After a while it becomes almost impossible to keep the gun thing away.

Thank goodness my son isn't interested in guns, he is ONLY interested in Transformers. He eats, sleeps, drinks Transformers, he actually thinks and talks about nothing but Transformers, but the thing about guns is, even if you don't have guns around, kids will make guns out of any object around. Its just the way it is.

I don't mind toy guns and infact, I think it is a good thing to have things like that around in order to teach kids about them.  I would rather take the time to teach my kids about guns (especially the safety aspect of it) than to keep fighting the inevitable fact that they will be exposed to them at some point in time.  I'm one of those people that I'd rather explain things to my kids first so they hear the "correct" information from me, as opposed to learning about it from Joe Blow, his parents, a movie, etc.

I don't really believe in censoring kids (age appropriate, of course...wouldn't have my 7-year-old watching porn) and feel it's important for them to understand the concept between reality and play/fantasy/movies/video games/etc.

But they can understand hurting so maybe start with that.

Great idea. Thanks! That's why I love being able to post things like this here. It seems obvious, but I just didn't think to explain it that way yet.

But they can understand hurting so maybe start with that.

Absolutely. 

Definitely.

We got to guns via swords - no difference really (though perhaps slightly more stylish!?)