Interested in your thoughts - leash/harness for child

Not a  parent but I wanted to comment that the only times I have seen people using leads, the parent only had one child (not a situation where there are three hyperactive kids trying to run around in the supermarket, where I can see how a lead could be helpful), and the child was close enough so that the parent could have just walked with them.

For example, child stepping away from the parent to look at some flowers.  Wouldn't it be better for the parent to hold the child's hand, walk over to the flowers with the child and talk about the flowers?
 

Have you tried paying at a till with one hand available? Or packing the shopping, and carrying shopping? Add the people in the queue at the till waiting while your child runs off to look at something, and you've got to chase them. Have that nightmare once and a rein/lead/harness isn't such a bad option.

I used to work in a shopping centre in the UK.  I saw both type of parents, those who had the leash but still interacted with their kids and the other type who just used them to jerk the kids around.

At least if the jerky parents had the kid on leashes they were tearing up our displays. 

I also think that people tend to notice the negatives more:  The truly lazy parent who drags their kid along like baggage, the parent who doesn't care that people are getting "clotheslined" on the sidewalk (because that's just jerky and inconsiderate and dangerous for the kid).  It's a lot less noticeable and remarkable when a parent is using the lead as a safety device that gets in the way of no one and draws no attention.  

It's not always an option to offer "if you don't hold hands we go home" and a lot of places just aren't stroller friendly.  In 4 short months, the number of times I've been b!thched at by people for merely daring to have a smallish stroller on a sidewalk has been shocking.

Sometimes you just can't win.  There will always be detractors, so you just make the best decisions you can.  

For example, child stepping away from the parent to look at some flowers.  Wouldn't it be better for the parent to hold the child's hand, walk over to the flowers with the child and talk about the flowers?

Yes, it would be better, and believe me I would love that, but, as a parent, I can tell you it is not always possible. My biggest fear in life is  letting go of one of my children's hands, for just a split second, to pay for something or grab something off the shelf, and have someone grab them.  With the reins I don't have that fear because I keep them very close to me, and can comfortably shop, pay bills, etc. without having that worry.

Have you tried paying at a till with one hand available? Or packing the shopping, and carrying shopping? Add the people in the queue at the till waiting while your child runs off to look at something, and you've got to chase them. Have that nightmare once and a rein/lead/harness isn't such a bad option.

It IS a total nightmare when that happens, isn't it?  Until you have a child, you can't imagine how difficult it can be to keep an eye on them, plus do the most simplest of tasks.

It's not always an option to offer "if you don't hold hands we go home" and a lot of places just aren't stroller friendly.  In 4 short months, the number of times I've been b!thched at by people for merely daring to have a smallish stroller on a sidewalk has been shocking.

Exactly that! Most the time we are in the City Centre it is for something we must get done that day...so telling our child/children "if you don't hold hands we go home" is not an option for us.  We rarely ever head to town for just a stroll, it's usually because we have an important errand to get finished. Can totally relate about the stroller thing!

Yes, it would be better, and believe me I would love that, but, as a parent, I can tell you it is not always possible. My biggest fear in life is  letting go of one of my children's hands, for just a split second, to pay for something or grab something off the shelf, and have someone grab them.  With the reins I don't have that fear because I keep them very close to me, and can comfortably shop, pay bills, etc. without having that worry.

But that's a completely different situation than the one with the child outside looking at flowers.

The point I was making is that I have never seen a lead being used on a child in the ways that you described, such as busy supermarket, need to get something off a high shelf, where I agree that a lead is a good idea. I have always seen them being used in situations where it would be just as easy to hold the child's hand.

I suppose it is true that we tend to notice the negative more.

We used the "lederhosen" style ones with Jean for a bit but eventually ended up getting one of the Little Life backpack ones.  Best Purchase Ever! She adores her ladybird backpack, strap is long enough to give her independence but I'm able to shorten it if she needs to be closer (to get around obstacles or let someone by for example).  We get all kinds of compliments on it (jut today heard a little boy say "Look! She's got a ladybird!").  Selling my old reins at next NCT sale and will buy Thomas whichever one he likes when he's one-ish.  

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I found the phrase "lazy parenting" offensive.


oh and with the little life ones the strap detaches when you just want it to be a backpack.

I used them with both children and would back the argument that they offer more independence with safety.  Neither child used them for long but they were a godsend when they were at that particular stage of being able to walk but not being able to grasp safety issues.  Walking in a busy mall with lots of tall adults that a child can get lost amongst is just as dangerous as traffic.  I did have problems getting reins in the US though and ordered them from the UK.  (I hate the term leash because that reminds me of the dog's leash and I feel this is different.)

Slices, we have a Little Life backpack to, and they are great!!  They are very well made; DD has had hers for over 3 years and it still looks like new.  Even when we don't use the strap, she still loves having the backpack and keeping a few toys in there.

As far as it being "lazy parenting", meh.  I don't think it's lazy for a parent to do whatever they need to ensure their child's safety.  Each child is different and learns at a different pace, and has different needs.  There is no "one size fits all" approach to raising kids, and I feel sorry for those that think all kids are the same and there is only one right way to do things.

Reins make me think of sled dogs.  Mush!! 

Reins make me think of sled dogs.  Mush!! 

LOL makes me think of horses!

The term doesn't really matter though. I am like others and my views have changed with age. I never used them, I have one daughter and she was taught to hold my hand and stay nearby...this worked for her. At the time I admit I thought this was what everyone should do. As I have grown I know not all children are the same, what works for one certainly doesn't work for another. I feel there is nothing wrong with using tools available, as others have mentioned it all comes down to how they are used.

My biggest fear in life is  letting go of one of my children's hands, for just a split second, to pay for something or grab something off the shelf, and have someone grab them. 

My fear is that one girl will run one way and the other girl will run the other way and one girl gets hurt/killed/taken while I get the other. It's like freaking Sophie's Choice.

At the moment we have special twin reins. They're good to start the girls off and get them used to reins but I intend on getting those cute backpack ones when they're older.

BTW, has anyone seen these? http://www.trunki.co.uk/categories/trunki_2

Cutest thing ever. I want to get a couple for the girls on our trip back to the states in December but Jon is being grumpy about it and insists we just use their pram. I suppose they might be a bit young for it at the moment. Poo.

As far as it being "lazy parenting", meh.  I don't think it's lazy for a parent to do whatever they need to ensure their child's safety.  Each child is different and learns at a different pace, and has different needs.  There is no "one size fits all" approach to raising kids, and I feel sorry for those that think all kids are the same and there is only one right way to do things.

I completely agree with the above.  FWIW I used the lederhosen style for our youngest when we first moved over.  She wasn't even two yet, and since we lived in Texas wasn't used to walking on narrow sidewalks.  I didn't use them for a long period of time. 

We saw a kid on a Trunki on our trip over here.  My 5 year old was VERY sad that he didn't have one, they are super cute!  It would have never have worked for our move, but they would probably be a nice size for short trips.

Just to chime in on the leash/reigns/straps/harness discussion.  I have 4 children, and if #2 had been small when we moved to the UK we would have definitely had one!  Living in Texas we had problems with him at festivals and such but DH wouldn't agree to the harness.  Once, when I left DH and another father in charge of #2 while #1 and I ran for drinks, DH lost him.  If anyone has ever had to give a description to the police about what their missing 2 year old looks like, they will understand why harnesses were invented.  After that DH refused to go anywhere crowded with the children, which made my life a nightmare.  So I say to each his own, and even though we have never owned a harness, I don't judge 99% of those I see with a child on one.  (I have to reserve a little bit for those that really are abusing it and dragging their children to and fro.)

DH lost him. 

Gave me palpitations....first because that is a horrifying situation....but also because I am imagining the exchange between you and husband. But now you can never lose an argument - "oh you say I spent too much shopping huh? How about the time you lost the effing kid!"