Aaargh! Major vent/pet peeve!

I'm steaming mad right now. I absolutely hate it when people ask if I think my fiance is being faithful to me. It's just plain rude.

So tonight, we had our family pumpkin carving and my parents' friends stopped by with their family. Anyway the wife sat down next to me and started basically grilling me about my relationship. Last time she did this, it was NYE and she had just met DF and asked if he could make me "financially happy." And this is how our conversation went tonight:

Her: So are you still with that same guy?
Me: Yes.
Her: When are you seeing him next?
Me: He'll be here for Easter.
Her: Wow, that's a long time. Do you guys stay faithful to each other while you are apart?
Me: Yes, of course (what I really wanted to say was: Do you stay faithful to your husband when he leaves on business trips?)
Her: And you trust him while he's all the way over there?
Me: Of course, or else the relationship wouldn't last or be worth it.

And then I had to smile and walk away.

This may seem petty, but I absolutely can't stand it when people question what any LDR is based off of - trust and faithfulness.

I mean, my parents, who just celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary were apart for 10 years of their marriage due to their careers. They've done brilliantly.

It all just makes me want to scream in frustration.

Anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it?

Okay, I feel better for getting that off my chest. Rant over!

My pet peeve is the other way around.  I have men hitting on me and trying to get me to be unfaithful.  I tell them that I am soon to be married.  All they tell me is that I'm not yet.  I is really starting to pi$$ me off.  I don't want to be a violent person but it is getting to the point that I might slap some one.   

Her: Wow, that's a long time. Do you guys stay faithful to each other while you are apart?
Me: Yes, of course (what I really wanted to say was: Do you stay faithful to your husband when he leaves on business trips?)
Her: And you trust him while he's all the way over there?
Me: Of course, or else the relationship wouldn't last or be worth it.

And then I had to smile and walk away.

I used to hate that too. Maybe you should ask her that question about the business trips. It is no more rude than her asking you. Like you said, trust is what makes a relationship work. There is just as much chance of cheating if you are living in the same house or different countries, and if you can't trust the person you are with while in separate countries, you can't trust that person living in the same house. When you find someone you can trust living thousands of miles away, then you know you'll be able to trust him/her completely. I think some people just thrive on trying to cause drama and chaos when they see others happy and secure.

My pet peeve is the other way around.  I have men hitting on me and trying to get me to be unfaithful.  I tell them that I am soon to be married.  All they tell me is that I'm not yet.  I is really starting to pi$$ me off.  I don't want to be a violent person but it is getting to the point that I might slap some one.   

Any man who tries to do that is one that needs to be ignored. As if a happily engaged woman would risk her happiness for a few moments with a sleazeball. 

Funny, nobody ever questioned me in that regard or brought it up when we were apart for 2+ years...I guess I just have good/discrete friends.

I can understand how it would make you mad though. People seem to think LDRs aren't as serious or romantic as a face-to-face-all-the-time relationship, when I believe just the opposite - you spend a lot more time talking and sharing your feelings rather than physical stuff.

It's why I don't get why people have an aversion to online dating...you learn more about a person than when you meet them somewhere...assuming they are being truthful (while a person IRL could also lie or stretch the truth!)

Funny, nobody ever questioned me in that regard or brought it up when we were apart for 2+ years...I guess I just have good/discrete friends.

I never got it from friends or family. It all came from co-workers or casual acquaintances. One co-worker drove me nearly insane, INSISTING he had to be cheating on me and I should go out with one of her boyfriend's friends. She also couldn't understand why I would go out with someone foreign. The man she was trying to get me to go out with was an illegal immigrant, who had a wife and kids in Mexico, same has her live in boyfriend. I suppose she got the 'he must be cheating' thoughts from the fact her boyfriend was cheating on his wife to be with her. What a mess.

Ugh. Yes. I know this one well.


Person: So, do you worry that your boyfriend is cheating on you?

Me: It's crossed my mind that it might be a lot easier to cheat when we're long distance, but no I don't really think he is. I've been faithful, so I'm sure he's capable of doing the same.

Person: But you don't really KNOW do you?

Me: In the same that you don't really KNOW that your SO isn't cheating on you either.  

Person: He's probably cheating on you though. You know that, right?

This is usually coming from people who I know have cheated on their present or past significant others, so what I've been tempted to say is "just because you cheat doesn't mean everyone else does."

Ultimately, I trust the BF and I don't think he's cheated, but my constantly worrying about this isn't going to stop him from cheating, so what's the point? I'm going to trust until I've been given a reason not to.

People can be seriously rude with their questions and comments. The one that has been bothering me lately is when people try to give me immigration advice because they know I'm planning to move to the UK next year. Most of the advice is flat out wrong and when I point out the flaws in their statements they're like "no, no, no. That's definitely how it works."  Yeah, ok.  

Thank GOD, I haven't had to deal with this! Or at least no one has said it to my face. Ugh. Sorry you have to deal with it! You were way more polite than I probably would have been!

Funny, nobody ever questioned me in that regard or brought it up when we were apart for 2+ years...I guess I just have good/discrete friends.

I can understand how it would make you mad though. People seem to think LDRs aren't as serious or romantic as a face-to-face-all-the-time relationship, when I believe just the opposite - you spend a lot more time talking and sharing your feelings rather than physical stuff.

It's why I don't get why people have an aversion to online dating...you learn more about a person than when you meet them somewhere...assuming they are being truthful (while a person IRL could also lie or stretch the truth!)

I have to say that having a LDR with my fiance was the best way to start off.  We got to know each other and fall in love with each other based on who we are.  I have to admit that in the past I use to base a lot on how they looked.  I was already in love with him by the time I saw what he looked like.  After that nothing mattered. It was so much easier to lay every thing out on the table that way.   And hormones didn't get in the way that way .  Not until much later.