Rant

Let me apologize before hand because I know this has been a beaten to death topic on the forums, but for good reason seeing as it effects a lot of us. Ok, so, this is a rant/crying upset mess. This new minimum requirement change is having a HUGE effect on myself and my boyfriend and I'm sure a lot of other couples. I just told him on Skype about the changes. Neither of us make anywhere near the amount of money they want to see. I'm 20 and trying to figure out what I want to be and he just turned 26 and has been working at a restaurant since he was 16.

Now that third party support is gone, I feel like there is no hope for us. His family is going through a lot right now, his nan is on her death bed. I said that he really needs to consider moving here because there might not me the option of me moving there for us realistically anymore. He said, he doesn't know if he could. His brother moved to Australia and he saw how his mom reacted and she was heartbroken, he says he doesn't know if he could do that to his mom and leave his family. I honestly feel like, this change is it for us. After seven years of knowing each other and slowly developing feelings and then him finally asking me to be his girlfriend 6 months ago.. I feel like well, that was a nice taste of what could be and now it'll be over soon. Which is a crappy feeling.

I really want to tough it out and be positive and think if we work hard enough and if I go to college we could finally be together in the end. But, now that he's told me that I don't even know if we'll be together. I don't know how well I'm going to be able to handle losing my best friend/love of my life if we aren't able to figure something out. I hate that these people make the standards of being with someone I love so ridiculously/needlessly high. That on top of that we have to be judged on our relationship from all sides, by the government, by family and friends. But, I get it. Please don't come here and tell me, "Oh it's because the government has to do it." I am very much aware. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

This is my rant. I am upset, I cried half the day and yeah, I am pissed about the changes and I have the right to let it out that I am pissed as hell. I just pray to whatever god will listen that he'll change his mind and reconsider moving here..

I really needed to get my emotions out somewhere. What a horrible day this has been. 

I want to give you big big hugs, as I agree, it shouldn't be this hard to be with someone you love. Perhaps there is a way around this for the two of you. I know, well easier said than done.

I've cried reading other stories like yours, and I cried again reading yours. I wish I could offer more than tears and digital hugs to you and others facing what you're facing. I don't have any answers, but I have lots of sympathy, for whatever that's worth.

I'm so sorry.

I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I know there isn't. When I knew I was going to be grandfathered in I was so relieved, but so sad as well because I knew that other people in our situation wouldn't. It is so unfair, and I know I will be writing to my MP to ask for a more rational and fair system for all. Not just those who are lucky enough to be in employment that pays well.

It's so unfair, it doesn't effect me due to grandfathering, otherwise we'd be screwed too.

Is it too early in your relationship for you to be engaged and apply for your visa before the cut off point for the new rules?

Don't give up.  There's always the Surinda Singh route too whereby he's have to move and work for about 6 months to somewhere else in the EU and work.  You could join him instantly and move with him to the UK after that period of time by exercising his EU treaty rights.

  I'm so sorry MandyBoo. I wish I knew what to say to you, but I know that if this was me and DF, there would be pretty much nothing anyone could say to make it better. You have every right to be upset and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, but don't give up hope. I think if the two of you are committed to being together, you will be together. Perhaps not as quickly as you would like, but I'm sure you can find a solution.

Regarding your boyfriend's uncertainty about moving to the US, it's a huge thing (I'm sure you're aware) and if he's had it in his head that he's staying put and you're moving to him, then he might need some time to think it through.

I hope you're feeling better today. HUGS!

Although it's definitely not ideal you could look at moving to a different European country together. Australia and the US are both very far away from the UK and expensive to get to, but somewhere like Ireland or France or Belgium are just a short plane or ferry or car or train ride away. At least then it'd be easier to get together with his family for holidays and other visits. And that way you could be together until you qualify to move to the UK.

We had continental Europe as our back up plan when we were applying for my spouse visa and we researched our backup city so much to distract ourselves while waiting for the decision that by the time it got approved we had a small moment of regret that we wouldn't ever live in the backup. :p