Where is 'home'?

I have only lived here for 2 years, but there is a tiny thing that bugs me and it won't stop no matter how often protest. I am from Atlanta and my mother and the rest of my family still live there. I am fully settled here with my wife. I have a good job, and I will be applying for the ILR in January. I love living here and I have no plans of ever moving back to the USA.

My problem is both my British wife and my mother continue to refer to Atlanta as my 'home'. I always tell both of them this is my home now, but they continue on.

I know it sounds like a small thing, and I even understand it to a degree (as in 'Atlanta is my hometown'), but to me, still referring to Atlanta as home makes the situation here seem temporary, like it was when I was overseas in the Army. Like I will someday go back 'home'. Ok, end of whinge

Have you told them that in as many words?

Have you told them that in as many words?

Yes, every single time I hear one of them refer to Atlanta as my home, I say "This is my home now". They don't debate it, they just won't stop saying it.

I call everywhere home.  Home to his parents, home to my parents, home UK in general, home US in general.

It gets confusing. 

I call everywhere home.   home to my parents, home UK in general, home US in general.

It gets confusing.  

Yes!!! Me too!
My true home is 'anywhere I hang my hat'  

Yes, every single time I hear one of them refer to Atlanta as my home, I say "This is my home now". They don't debate it, they just won't stop saying it.

I meant the part where you told us why it makes you feel unwelcome. 

I meant the part where you told us why it makes you feel unwelcome. 

Ahhh good point! No, I haven't put it in the same terms I put it here actually. I probably should.

I've only been here about 4.5 months, but I already feel the same way. This is my home. I've never felt any deep connection to any city I lived in in the US, but I do here.

I still, occasionally, use the term "back home" to refer to that place from whence I came, but my husband dreams of someday going back to the States, so he readily calls it home (even though he only ever visited, and has never lived there yet). I don't seem to be able to make him understand that I'm not opposed to going back after he finishes uni in a few years, but I'm only just settling in, and I don't like thinking of Arizona as home again already. It makes it feel like I'm only visiting here, like I don't quite belong in England, and that no matter how many years I'm here, I'll always just be a tourist of sorts.

He doesn't do it as often, which I appreciate, but it still really bugs me every time it happens.

Anyway, I feel your pain. I hope after you express to them in the terms you put here, they have a better understanding and make a better effort to change the terminology.

Ah, I have the opposite problem! It's not that I don't feel at home here and I don't plan on living here forever, it's just an easy way to distinguish where I mean. It bothers my husband though, so I've tried to stop but for some reason it's hard! Also I think he is a bit silly as he even takes offence at saying 'homesick.'

In any case, It would probably be a good idea to spell it out to them the way you did here. They will probably try to change but don't be surprised if it takes a bit (heavens knows how long it will take me!).

I'm like bookgrl and PB. London is home, socal is home, PA is home. I think you can have as many homes as you like.

Besides noirem's point about telling them how you feel, perhaps examining why it bothers you that it makes things feel temporary might help you let go of it?

For me, the UK is where I live but it isn't home. I am remined of a lyric by Neil Diamond about being between two places. He says "LA's fine but it ain't home New York's home but it ain't mine no more"
 Fill in the cities and there you have it personalized. Sometimes I really feel like I have no true home anymore but the US is what I think of when I say home.

For me, home is wherever my family and loved ones are. So NY is home, Manchester is home. I refer to both at home, and I am happy for other people to refer to NY as home. I think you are being a bit oversensitive by being offended that they are referring to Atlanta as home, to them its always going to be your hometown, let them know how you feel. I am happy to call both places my home.

For me, home is wherever my family and loved ones are. So NY is home, Manchester is home. I refer to both at home, and I am happy for other people to refer to NY as home.

I think this is where I stand on the matter as well.

Thanks for the replies. All excellent points

Good golly, everywhere is home to me! Here in the UK, back in NH, at mom and dad's in Massachusetts. My hubby is the same way. He still refers to NH as home.