When part of an international marriage, it's always difficult to know what to do. You feel torn between two places, two homes. There are positives and negatives to living in either place, and loved ones are missed or left behind no matter where you choose to settle.
Of course, everybody's circumstances are different. That's where you need to follow your instincts. I think we humans are conditioned to trying to rationalize our way through everything, and sometimes ignore our instincts. If you follow them, you'll very rarely go wrong.
A trip to the US sounds like a great idea and will probably help to clarify things. After you get back, write a list of pros and cons of each place, hang it on your fridge and think about it. See how you feel afterwards and whether there are any new developments with work.
Sometimes, too, I think that we try so hard to forge our own way through life. But in reality, circumstances and events determine what we do. What happens with your job, housing, etc. might make the decision for you. In other words, life guides us at times, instead of the other way around...
Jules, good luck no matter what you decide. Keep us posted. Remember, everybody here has been through it. Personally, now that we're back in the US in our new house, kids settling, DH working, etc., all of my uncertainies have clarified and I know that we made the right decision. I actually listened to my instincts instead of trying to over-rationalize!!!!
