Your post was very clear, cheesebiscuit. I suspect the OP was undergoing information overload at the time and may have missed its significance. It doesn't help when a tax adviser in the US tells them something different. In spite of the tax advisers' comment "that filing from abroad is not complicated" (which, in the right circumstances, it isn't), perhaps the adviser would benefit from a refresher course in international returns.
Thanks
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I'm by no means a tax expert, but I am a planner, so I read into it in quite a lot of detail when we first filed taxes after our marriage, although not complicated exactly, there are a lot of options you can choose, some of which have unexpected/far reaching consequences.
When we originally chose to do MFS, we could have really done with the MFJ discounts and refund, but now we've gone through a change in circumstances, that would have been absolutely disastrous and resulted in much higher payment of tax in the US than we already pay.
We're also not eligible for Head of Household status as we have no dependents living with us.
Now we have that all sorted our tax return is fairly simple, the first time, just required some fairly simple, but detailed reading in order to get it right.