Christening in the UK

This is merely a question, for my own understanding. Before I ask it, I would ask that it not become a debate or a way to say hurtful things to other members in the course of a debate, because I know religion is a hot topic for some. I am only curious, as a person of Christian beliefs with a lot of very dear friends who are of either non Christian beliefs or of no beliefs. My purpose is to ask a question so I can understand the idea behind it, and in no way do I mean to hurt or upset anyone. I am of the 'live and let live' belief, and not the 'my way is the only way' opinion. Religious beliefs, or the choice to have none, are a very personal choice. On to the question...

I suppose it is a two part question really. Is christening more or less compulsory, or perhaps something people 'just do because it is the done thing', in the UK? The reasoning for the question is, a lot of our friends who are atheist, pagan, wiccan, apathetic toward any religion, etc, have their children christened in church. I am only trying to understand why, for example, an atheist couple who are friends of ours asked another couple who are both atheists, to be Godparents of their son. I thought the purpose of Godparents was for the child to still have someone raise them in the church, and see to their spiritual beliefs within the Christian faith, should something happen to the parents.

Now I wonder, has the word Godparent become a generic term for someone you would want to raise your children should something happen to you, and have nothing to do with any religion?

I only ask to help answer a question that has been on my mind for a few years. I have often thought of asking one of our friends of another faith, or one who chooses to not follow any faith, but was never sure how to ask. I figure I have read enough on here to know there are a wide variety of views to be voiced and all will help me to understand.

What prompted me to ask today, after wondering so long, was a post on FB by a friend who is atheist. He and his wife went to a Christening this morning, and he posted that his son pumped his fist in the air and shouted, "Science!". The son is three, and daddy was overwhelmed with pride that his son would make that declaration in a church.

It's not 'compulsory' by any means.

If the parents are church-goers, it's kind of a 'welcome to the church' ceremony.
If the parents are not church-goers, it's probably more akin to a nice 'excuse for a party'!
Parents who are atheists sometimes have a 'naming ceremony', but i would be surprised and amused if they actually used the word 'christening'!

I'm not amused, however, at the parent who beamed with pride over his child disrupting a church service that was possibly very meaningful to others present. 

We had both our kids baptized in the US -- it was more of a way to include family there since they were born in the UK and would be brought up here as well.

I think some people in the UK go in for the christening so they can get their kid into the local church schools (regarded as superior by many) but that's just the impression I get.

Neither my husband or I (both British) were christened, baptised, etc. It's definitely not compulsory.

I have friends whose children have had christenings and other non-religious friends who haven't had theirs christened. We don't have children, but as an atheist I would never have a christening! Or anything called that! I think that's a bit odd.

A naming ceremony, perhaps. And having friends/family as designated to care for your children if something happened - well, that's a very nice as well as practical idea. But a christening?? No way.

Thanks for the replies. I suppose 'compulsory' might not have been the word I should have used, but it did seem like we were hearing of it quite a lot from people who didn't and would never go to a church for any other purpose other than a wedding. I always figured you did what was within your views, and if you didn't believe in God, a christening for your child didn't follow your views.

The term christening has been used in each case that comes to mind. Naming ceremony would have made more sense if the child wouldn't be brought up in the church. T

I have heard that some regard the church schools as superior for education, so it would make sense to get your kid in that way.

I was horrified when I read that status update. I was raised you didn't have to agree with other people's views, whether religion, politics, or any subject, but you should respect their right to their opinion and not be inappropriately disruptive about it. You could have a discussion with the person one to one in a neutral place, but be quiet and respectful in their church, sanctuary, political headquarters, etc.

but it did seem like we were hearing of it quite a lot from people who didn't and would never go to a church for any other purpose other than a wedding.

Ah, but that's very different from being non-religious or being atheist. There are huge numbers of British people who do not go to church regularly yet who consider themselves CofE.

It may differ depending on location, or even by each family.  Over here, christenings do seem like something that is automatically done.  I'm agnostic (was raised Catholic) and I had both of my children christened in the Catholic church.  I wasn't going to initially, but my in-laws were pretty upset about their grandchildren not being christened.  To me, it was no big deal, just a bit of water lol, but to them, it was hugely important, and I didn't think it was worth causing them upset. I sucked it up for the one day, and the in-laws can't say that I'm not willing to compromise

Ah, but that's very different from being non-religious or being atheist. There are huge numbers of British people who do not go to church regularly yet who consider themselves CofE.

I'm one of those people.

I was raised C of E - I was christened, attended a C of E primary school, attended church and Sunday School when I was younger (although I was never confirmed), but for some reason or another my family stopped regularly going to church when I was about 8 or 9.

So, I'm not a church-goer - I haven't been to a 'regular' Sunday church service in about 20 years now - I don't read the bible, I don't pray, I don't know if I believe in God or Heaven, but I do believe in Christian morals.

If someone asks me what my religion is, my immediate response is 'Christian'. I don't really know why, but that's just how I've always thought of myself, even though I'm not a practising Christian... and I've always assumed that I will get married in a church and that I will have my future children christened.

I like the Dalai Lama's idea of secular ethics.

I think there really is just a fundamental, cultural difference in the way that people view religion in the U.K. vs. the U.S.. 

Religion-- well, Protestant Christianity, at any rate-- is just woven into public life in the U.K., to the point where I think it's just become a sort of cultural 'white noise.'  People barely even notice it, or think of it as 'religion.'  Which accounts for the huge discrepancy between the number of people who list a religion on their census forms, and the number of people who actually attend church voluntarily.

My husband isn't at all religious-- somewhere between 'who cares?' and atheist-- but he tends to take religious services somewhat seriously.  He even vetoed my first choice for our wedding ceremony because the vows were too overtly religious, and he didn't feel he could answer truthfully.  However, he's said in the past that, if we were ever to have a child, he'd want it baptised 'so that it would know what it was.'  He feels that it 'ticks an identity box,' so that you don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about it later on.  Or something like that. 

To the OP, I fear you've pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I was baptised, brought up CofE and regularly went to church until i was 18. I would now consider myself athiest but have a grounding in morals.
My parents were both regularl church goers until their deaths.

This used to annoy them as Christians and it annoys me.

It does seem to be something that's done (not by all) because i's always been done. My friend was asked by another friend to be a godfather, and him also being athiest I said "I guess you turned him down then?", and he said "No, why?" and I said "because part of what you promise is to bring them up as a christian" or to help, or somthing like that.
After he'd been to the service he said to me he saw what I meant as he felt uncomfortable with what he was promising.

I would now consider myself athiest but have a grounding in morals.

I'm always amused (and, OK, also a little irritated) when people talk about morals as if atheists can't have them without going to church.

I agree with Chary. Maybe that's not what you guys meant, but it certainly comes off that way. I have no intention of indoctrinating any children I might have with any religion, but they'll definitely have morals!

We had dedications for both our children as we go to a Pentecostal church now (I was raised Catholic) so don't believe in infant baptism.  Certainly have heard of various parents at our playgroup getting kids baptized or christened to get them into particular schools though.

I'm always amused (and, OK, also a little irritated) when people talk about morals as if atheists can't have them without going to church.

Oh I know, but I posted up an article from the Guardian on Facebook a while about it, asking if you could have morals without religion, and saying pretty much what you did....and got into a whole theological debate with my American sister-in-law!

I think I worded my comments badly!