Facebook rant (awkward friendship stuff)

Maybe I have just been lucky, but almost all of the recipes that have been posted on my FB have been things that I would actually use someday, or just fancy the ars* off!  Mainly just really useful/fanciable stuff!  The latest was an amazing-looking cauliflower cheese with bacon bake-thingy, and prior to that, there was a DIY brownie mix.

I don't get many recipes on my feed at all.  Lots of pictures of food, though!

Maybe I have just been lucky, but almost all of the recipes that have been posted on my FB have been things that I would actually use someday, or just fancy the ars* off!  Mainly just really useful/fanciable stuff!  The latest was an amazing-looking cauliflower cheese with bacon bake-thingy, and prior to that, there was a DIY brownie mix.

I meant to say I thought those recipes looked good too! 

I did the cauliflower cheese one last night, minus the bacon... I put black olives in instead, and it was lush.

Well, she's messaged me back.  Her dad passed away a few weeks ago.  I didn't see that when I checked her posts, maybe was a bit further back than what was showing.  I expressed my sympathy, they were close and her Mom passed away years ago so it was just the two of them.

I do feel bad, but to be fair, she didn't say anything to me when my dad passed away, but then I don't think I posted it, I don't usually put really personal stuff on there.

But after reading CharmCityGirl's comment, I don't feel badly about blocking her, she hasn't been there for me as a friend in over a decade, I do feel badly for her situation and wonder how she'll cope, she does have mental health issues as well. 

I think you handled that pretty well! 

Boundaries are a good thing and if you don't want to see her feed, you don't have to. That's why you can go to her page when you feel like it, no? 

And, of course this thread, like so many, has been reduced to food.......

I started to think about a year ago that my American sister-in-law had hidden my posts, we'd had some political "discussion" before and I just thought she must have hidden because she didn't want to see my posts - which were usually links to news stories or articles that I found interesting. The reason I thought she must have hidden me was because she also didn't respond, as she used to, on comments about our travels or on the travel photos I posted up, I tend to take more and post more up than DW does.
So I mentioned to DW but said it that she might like to check her settings if she wasn't seeing my photos, because I know facebook changed and it had settings such you only saw some updates, and I've had to manually change a lot.
Maybe that was it and she finally sussed it out (she's not the most technical of people).
But then last week came the really strange one because she suddenly managed to orchestrate a political argument with me. I can only assume it's because she is a pretty extreme conservative/tea partier, and her daughter is quite liberal and voted Obama, now she doesn't comment on her daughter's political posts, I guess just not wanting to fall out. And I'm starting to think all this frustration boiled up but it was the way she turned one of my posts that got me.
My initial posting was how I'd had to wait 45 mins after my appointment time at the Job Centre. And she responded with "Must be government run", so I just said it was and that they were understaffed and Tory cuts were having an effect", to which she replies "Because not enough people have jobs since the capitalists and entrepreneurs are overtaxed and not creating them"
So I just said "nothing to do with those capitalists that destroyed the banking system through their greed" and it got into a whole capitalist v socialist thing, despite me saying you can pick bits from both....e.g. to create a social healthcare system....which then got us into an argument on healthcare, Obamacare, Fox News, religion etc!
The thing is that I used to post a lot of American news links during the whole healthcare debate but I'd stopped doing that because I decided it wasn't worth the grief if it was something that didn't affect me, so I might occasionally put something about mass killings there but through the whole government shutdown I thought I'd keep out of it. It could be that she sees the bit at the side where I've commented on a 3rd party post or news thread but felt she couldn't respond to me for that. Perhaps the cartoon I posted about Breaking BAd couldn't happen in the UK or an article about it tipped her over the edge!
Anyway, she's still seeing my posts because she liked the recent pic of our kittens!

You can choose which posts you see, but you can also choose which of your posts others see. 

I was going back to the US after almost 2 years travelling in Europe and I was surprising my mom.  Not wanting to let ANYONE know and possibly spill the beans (besides my dad who was my co-conspirator), I put everyone with a connection to my mom into their own 'group' in my contacts on FB.  I put everyone not connected to my mom into another group.    When I posted something, I made it visible to one group but not the other so NO ONE could ruin it.   

It worked out in the end- I posted saying I was one place and had certain plans lined up that my mom and everyone she knows believed and I had other posts of what I was really doing and my real plans that everyone else could see.    There was even a way to check how your posts were visible to specific people so I could check every once in a while to be sure I hadn't messed up. 

If you really don't want to get in arguments with people, you could always just make certain posts of yours not visible to them. 

I'm assuming the function is still available- but that was over two years ago that I did it and I know a lot has changed on FB since then....

Tykeman, your SIL and my cousin's husband should link arms on their way to the Tea Party rally together! Ugh. He has to know I blocked him because I did use to comment on his insane posts, but I went quiet altogether. I just couldn't take it anymore.

TF - that sounds like waaaaayyyy too much work for me! Well done on keeping it all separate and secret!

You can choose which posts you see, but you can also choose which of your posts others see. 

This is useful. I have a filter list for when I want/need to swear. Some of my FB friends are children of cousins, etc. and they're quite young and impressionable. They don't need to hear my salty language!

TF - that sounds like waaaaayyyy too much work for me!

Me, too!  But it's good it can be done if needed.

Tykeman, your SIL sounds like a piece of work, but whatever you have to do to keep the peace in the family.

Tykeman, your SIL and my cousin's husband should link arms on their way to the Tea Party rally together! Ugh. He has to know I blocked him because I did use to comment on his insane posts, but I went quiet altogether. I just couldn't take it anymore.

TF - that sounds like waaaaayyyy too much work for me! Well done on keeping it all separate and secret!

To be fair to her she doesn't post up any political stuff herself. In the past it was after I'd posted a few things that she'd finally crack, but of late perhaps because I've only really been posting UK political stuff she's not responded....well until that posting I made which wasn't even political!
Though she has twice accused me of "hating" Christians (her husband is a retired Lutheran minister)...I'm athiest but generally don't care unless I think something is completely barking mad.
I've had a couple of discussions with him when we've been staying with them but as we are guests I just try to stay out of it...DW can tell when I'm starting to get annoyed and one time she just said to me "you've not had a walk for a while, why don't you take the dog out", just to give me a way out!
We keep inviting them over here...I think they might find I'm a little more outspoken in my own home!

I've gathered a lot of useful iinfo from this thread. Thanks everyone!  I've been toying with the idea of hiding a few people, simply because of drama/overbearing with political views (my way is the ONLY way)/ vague booking, etc. Now I think I can do it guilt free, even if two of the worst are family. One is a friend from school that has become a real Negative Nelly over the years, and her posts are a real drag to see. She is one who puts every detail of not only her life, but her husband's, her kids, grandkids, etc. She invites the world in to every little problem, then wants to go off on people who comment. She's also threatening to leave FB at least three times a month because of nosy people (don't put it all out there for the world to see..) then she will leave, then come back within an hour to two days, for one reason or another. She will be the easy one to block.

The my way is the only way political culprit is my cousin. We just had a polite knock down, drag out 'debate' over healthcare. He is one of the ones who is dead set against a NHS type system in the US, because if you are going to give out free heath care, people will be demanding free phones, electricity etc. WHAT? Also saying that it would never be a good idea because people would have to go on these huge waiting lists for some procedures. Okay... if you can't afford it ever, why not wait a little while? Why bother with having any health problems taken care of over a few things you may or may not have come up in your life.... All this after complaining how much it is going to cost him for his family on Obamacare, and all the things it won't pay for his wife's health problems, that I know for a fact would be taken care of on an NHS type system. He has gone from being a fun guy to being all about politics and proving people wrong.

The 'vague booking' ones are two nieces and their aunt from the other side of the family. The incessant, "What now?" "I am so over it!" "Does it even matter anymore?" etc posts that force people to ask what is wrong are very wearing. The truly sad part is, none of the three are like that in real life.

All along I have felt I should keep them in view because they may say something I need to know about, or maybe out of guilt of hiding family. Probably that. Now I am feeling it is more my feed, and my time that it takes to read it all, so I should be able to control what and who I see.

Thanks, guys! 

I feel bad because I really like my cousin and her husband, but we are just polar opposites when it comes to politics and I couldn't take it anymore. Interestingly, my cousin never comments on her husband's posts. I find that a little peculiar, but it's not my marriage!

Interestingly, my cousin never comments on her husband's posts. I find that a little peculiar, but it's not my marriage!

I find it more odd when husbands and wives comment on each others' stuff constantly! It's like ... don't you two ever SPEAK to each other??

My husband almost never comments or likes my Facebook stuff - he just doesn't care much about FB. He looks to see what I'm up to & that's about it, lol! I know he likes when I put up what I'm cooking for his dinner, lol, but he doesn't 'like' it.