Facebook rant (awkward friendship stuff)

Now, this isn't about anyone on here or anyone who lives in the UK!  And it might sound a bit "high school"...

An old friend of mine was quite a good friend 20 years ago, but she had a lot of personal problems and moved far away back home with her parents.  I tried to keep in touch with her over the years, but she never or rarely responded to letters.
 
When I got online 11 years ago she re-surfaced but was still not really keeping in touch much.  In the past few years since I've been on facebook she's friended me and I accepted for old times sake. 

But she's one of those who never comments or responds to my stuff much at all.  Which is fine as she has all new friends now (most of which are not 'real life').  She got really heavily involved in stuff that makes me cringe and posts about it all the time (erotica, vampires, chasing certain celebraties--stuff that is just not what I want to see on my newsfeed in such abundance). 

So, I hid her posts from my feed a year or so ago.  I didn't want to defriend her.

So yesterday in my inbox is a message from her and it simply says, "So I guess you don't see my posts anymore?"  Which seemed a bit manipulative to me.  I've just ignored it for now.

What do you guys think?  How should I respond if I do respond? 

Hmm, I'd probably just respond with something like 'What makes you say that?'

hmmm seems like she is fishing.  Did she post anything on her page when you go and look at that warrants a response from you?  I would just respond that you don't always have time in your busy life to comment or like every post of everyone  all the time.  She seems a bit like someone who is holding onto high school ways tho.

I would just go check her page and make sure there wasn't some live-altering post about an illness or death, etc and then I like Geeta's approach of just asking why she thinks that.

I would just go check her page and make sure there wasn't some live-altering post about an illness or death, etc and then I like Geeta's approach of just asking why she thinks that.

Yeah, that's the first thing I did and I just now went and double-checked it.  Nothing in the past two or three weeks that's major in any way.

I was afraid to go with Geeta's approach because it's true, I *have* hidden her posts.

But really in the past three or four years she's maybe responded to any of my stuff less than half a dozen times if that, including 'liking' stuff. 

I think I'll message her and say, "Why, what's up?" or something similar....

Well, I messaged her and said, "Why?  What's up??" and also have un-hidden her from my feed.

Can you believe she's over 50?  I'm not too far behind that either! 

That's quite strange (and quite childish of her) Andee.....  Hmmm.... 

I think you responded the right way, but I wouldn't have unhidden her from my feed. You're clearly not missing out on anything! I have people blocked and I'll occasionally check to see if I'm missing anything major. Then I'm always reminded why they're blocked in the first place!  

I think you responded the right way, but I wouldn't have unhidden her from my feed. You're clearly not missing out on anything! I have people blocked and I'll occasionally check to see if I'm missing anything major. Then I'm always reminded why they're blocked in the first place!  

Ahh, so true!

That's quite strange (and quite childish of her) Andee.....  Hmmm.... 

Yeah, you're right. 

Well, she's messaged me back.  Her dad passed away a few weeks ago.  I didn't see that when I checked her posts, maybe was a bit further back than what was showing.  I expressed my sympathy, they were close and her Mom passed away years ago so it was just the two of them.

I do feel bad, but to be fair, she didn't say anything to me when my dad passed away, but then I don't think I posted it, I don't usually put really personal stuff on there.

But after reading CharmCityGirl's comment, I don't feel badly about blocking her, she hasn't been there for me as a friend in over a decade, I do feel badly for her situation and wonder how she'll cope, she does have mental health issues as well. 

Seems that she's being passive aggressive - ugh. Sometimes people are in your past for a reason, lol!

Another Facebook pet peeve of mine is when people post cryptic status updates. So either it's an inside joke & I'm clearly not one of the cool kids - well poo on you (not you, Andee)!! Or readers are being prompted to ask - what is it? Ugh to that too!

Sincerely,
A Grumpy Old Woman

Seems that she's being passive aggressive - ugh. Sometimes people are in your past for a reason, lol!

Another Facebook pet peeve of mine is when people post cryptic status updates. So either it's an inside joke & I'm clearly not one of the cool kids - well poo on you (not you, Andee)!! Or readers are being prompted to ask - what is it? Ugh to that too!

Sincerely,
A Grumpy Old Woman

I totally agree.  I hate those!

"Did that really just happen?"

Grrrrrrrr

Even if you don't have someone's posts hidden from your newsfeed, Facebook is kind of weird sometimes in picking what it wants you to see. I've noticed this before when I see a friend's comment (off in that side bar) on another friend's post that's not showing up on my newsfeed at all. I don't have them hidden, and I can go to the friend's page & see the post (or from the comments bit) so they don't have me blocked from seeing it. Very strange.

On other other hand, if I did have someone hidden & they got up the nerve to come at me like that, I might be inclined to be honest & say I hope it doesn't hurt their feelings, but I'm just not really interested in "erotica, vampires, chasing certain celebrities" etc.

Mrs.R, yes I agree with both of your posts. 

On other other hand, if I did have someone hidden & they got up the nerve to come at me like that, I might be inclined to be honest & say I hope it doesn't hurt their feelings, but I'm just not really interested in "erotica, vampires, chasing certain celebrities" etc.

I had to do this once.  A guy I had de-friended approached me in the pub and asked why I un-friended him.  I just had to tell him that I was fed up with every  status update he made being negative (bad weather, bad work, bad service, etc) or racist.  He flounced off saying he was never drinking with us again, and after he'd left all my friends at the table thanked me.  None of us really liked him anyway, and I had only FB-friended him out of misguided politeness.