Better to start family in UK or US?

Hi all,
I could really use some advice. I'm 27, American living in Edinburgh applying for ILR in the next few months and then citizenship. Long term my husband and I would like to move to the US. He still needs to go through the green card process. We'd like to start a family before I'm too old, but not sure if it's better to have a baby here or in the USA. We currently rent so another thing to think about is do we go ahead and buy a house here and before the economy/house prices go up any more. I don't think renting and having a baby are ideal as a lot of places say no children. We can rent it our when we move back to the US.

My husband is also concerned about how quickly he'll get work in America as he works in Theatre (producer/youth programs). I have a decent paid job with Lloyds Bank here.

So any thoughts/stories/advice? My gut tells me to have a baby while we're here as the maternity benefits are so good and then move over, but hubs is wary moving over with a young family and not getting time to adjust first, job uncertainty, etc. On the other hand we wait to start a family when we move the the US and there's the health care situation and no maternity leave.

What I am going to say is just my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.

You and DH want to start a family. You want to move to the US "in the long term". You really have no idea when that will be, how long it will take, etc. But you are here now. So live your life for NOW and deal with the move and all that comes with it later. 

I have had two kids, one born here in the UK and one abroad under an insurance-based medical system similar to the US. If finances are at all an issue, being pregnant, giving birth and maternity leave here in the UK is a definite plus!

I say this as someone who swore up and down that "We are NOT EVER living in the UK." And I am filing my citizenship application in October!! Good luck!

I agree with TexasGirl.  I had my children in the US, and it took a year to pay off the birth of my first child [normal, natural, hospital birth], and we are still paying off the credit card from my second as the homebirth was not covered by insurance [even though the homebirth was cheaper, hubby lost job]. I  think waiting would be a bit silly, considering the benefits you now enjoy. Even if you have a young family when you move over, you won't be paying off the hospital bills you'd pay if you had them in the US. Even though I wanted to be here so I'd have my Mama, I won't have another on US soil. If we got pregnant today, we'd make the move over before the birth, if at all possible, lol.

Also, since you seem to be the primary earner, you will  not be able to take off very much time with a baby in the US, and even though that may not seem like a big deal right now, I promise once that baby comes out it will be everything! I would make the decision on what you know, instead of what 'might be'. Ya know? You know it will cost very little to nothing and you will likely get better care in the UK. You know you will get plenty of maternity leave without going into debt or losing pay.  You know you want to start a family soon.  There's a lot about your future move you don't know. 

I hope that helps.  As with TexasGirl, take this with a grain of salt , but that's just my two cents!

I'd have to agree with the two previous replies. My first is due to join us at the end of June and we've had the raising a family in the US v UK conversation many times before. We've always, very quickly, come to the conclusion that it's far better here in the UK. 52 weeks of statutory maternity leave (6 weeks 90% pay, 33 weeks stipend pay, 3 months unpaid) here compared to nothing in the US. NHS coverage here so no hospital bills compared to massive medical debt in the US. And a far superior education system here. University fees are a fraction of those in the US as well (even though the Brits still like to complain about the fees! haha!).

In my opinion, both short and long term, the UK trumps the US every time.

I would agree.  We just had our first and mat leave is great.  Your company might offer beyond what is the government minimum. 

Actually, going to an in state university in the US would now be cheaper than most UK universities and, of course, you pay just as much for a former poly-tech as you would for Cambridge. Also, I wouldn't call the education system far superior either.  It depends on your personality type, but those issues are a long way off.

Actually, going to an in state university in the US would now be cheaper than most UK universities

Probably true. What is £9K in USD now? $15K?

This is definitely a personal choice that is going to depend on your circumstances as a couple.

I just had my first baby here in the UK three weeks ago.  Yes, the maternity leave compared to the US is fantastic.  My company offers six months paid leave...  I almost fell off my chair when I found out that I am getting paid to stay home with my baby for six months.  BUT - this is not normal.  In my antenatal classes, me and one other mother have paid leave.  The other five moms are getting statuatory pay which is about £550 a month for 9 months.  Needless to say this is still way better than what you would get in the US.

If I worked for my current employer in the US, I would have a company provided insurance policy.  The birth would have cost a small co-pay for the initial visit and a co-pay for the hospital stay.  According to the Intranet at work, this would have set me back $130.  While I didn't have to pay at the point of service for the NHS, I actually spent a lot more than this on parking.  Seriously, I spent hundreds on parking at the hospital but I had complications and had to go in every-other-day during the last couple of months.  Most people wouldn't have that expense.

As for the care I received, I feel as though I had excellent quality of care, especially from the midwives (both community and on the wards).  But I did NOT feel as though I had good continuity of care.  As I said, I was heavily monitored in my third trimester and was a regular at the hospital.  I always saw a doctor... but it was never the same doctor twice (actually there were two that I saw twice but several weeks between the visits and so much had changed that there was no continuity in the vistits).  I do wonder if things would have turned out better if I had a single consultant overseeing my care.

Another huge factor is your support network.  Maternity leave can be a very lonely time if you don't have an existing support network.  If you don't have a lot of support, are you willing to put in a lot of effort to build one?

Schools are subjective.  I don't agree with everything I know about the UK school system.  But I know the US school system isn't perfect either.

The cost of university here is FAR greater than my in-state public university degrees.  A 3-year Bachelor's in the UK is currently £27,000 ($45k).  Current rate for my university (a top state school) is $25,000 for a 4 year degree, so $20k cheaper.

Congratulations KFDancer!
My input and like the previous posters said, is to be taken with a grain of salt, is that you need to live for the here and now. If "The future" means 5, 10 years from now, are you ready to start a family then?

 My UK hubby and I had our son in the US and with my insurance at the time, paid $1500. He is a dual citizen because I did all of the paperwork for it which I'm sure you could take care of as well when you are ready to move.

It took my hubby nearly a year to get his green card which allowed him to work (US backlog I"m guessing) and another 4 months to find any employment as we were desperate (I was about to give birth). Within that year (Year 2) he found his current job which he enjoys but took nearly 2 years to get. Plan on working until that time.

Everyone's situation is different but for me, I lost both of my parents 5 years ago and only family is my hubby's in the UK. That is why that works for me, I want our son to know his grandparents and cousins, uncles, aunties

The cost of university here is FAR greater than my in-state public university degrees.  A 3-year Bachelor's in the UK is currently £27,000 ($45k).  Current rate for my university (a top state school) is $25,000 for a 4 year degree, so $20k cheaper.

 

UK fees have definitely become a barrier to education. 

I'd definitely suggest to any child of mine, if I had one, to go to Canada to study for undergraduate degree level. Most programs of study in my home province are £3000 per year equivalent (excludes medicine, dentistry and law).

Whether one wants to do a 2 year Masters N. American format or 1 year UK format, well that's a personal thing.

PhDs seem to be more fund-able in the UK, though. YMMV.   

This is definitely a personal choice that is going to depend on your circumstances as a couple.

I just had my first baby here in the UK three weeks ago.  Yes, the maternity leave compared to the US is fantastic.  My company offers six months paid leave...  I almost fell off my chair when I found out that I am getting paid to stay home with my baby for six months.  BUT - this is not normal.  In my antenatal classes, me and one other mother have paid leave.  The other five moms are getting statuatory pay which is about £550 a month for 9 months.  Needless to say this is still way better than what you would get in the US.

If I worked for my current employer in the US, I would have a company provided insurance policy.  The birth would have cost a small co-pay for the initial visit and a co-pay for the hospital stay.  According to the Intranet at work, this would have set me back $130.  While I didn't have to pay at the point of service for the NHS, I actually spent a lot more than this on parking.  Seriously, I spent hundreds on parking at the hospital but I had complications and had to go in every-other-day during the last couple of months.  Most people wouldn't have that expense.

As for the care I received, I feel as though I had excellent quality of care, especially from the midwives (both community and on the wards).  But I did NOT feel as though I had good continuity of care.  As I said, I was heavily monitored in my third trimester and was a regular at the hospital.  I always saw a doctor... but it was never the same doctor twice (actually there were two that I saw twice but several weeks between the visits and so much had changed that there was no continuity in the vistits).  I do wonder if things would have turned out better if I had a single consultant overseeing my care.

Another huge factor is your support network.  Maternity leave can be a very lonely time if you don't have an existing support network.  If you don't have a lot of support, are you willing to put in a lot of effort to build one?

Schools are subjective.  I don't agree with everything I know about the UK school system.  But I know the US school system isn't perfect either.

The cost of university here is FAR greater than my in-state public university degrees.  A 3-year Bachelor's in the UK is currently £27,000 ($45k).  Current rate for my university (a top state school) is $25,000 for a 4 year degree, so $20k cheaper.

In the US it's real debt,real debt.  UK student debt is a different beast, it's more like taxation in reality.  You don't even have to repay a penny until you earn over something like £20k per year.

UK fees have definitely become a barrier to education. 

I'd definitely suggest to any child of mine, if I had one, to go to Canada to study for undergraduate degree level. Most programs of study in my home province are £3000 per year equivalent (excludes medicine, dentistry and law).

Whether one wants to do a 2 year Masters N. American format or 1 year UK format, well that's a personal thing.

PhDs seem to be more fund-able in the UK, though. YMMV.   

It shouldn't be, if people knew the full facts.   If they earn £30k per year after graduating, they'd only repay £67.50 per month back of their student loan. 

You don't even have to repay a penny until you earn over something like £20k per year.

It's now £21K, but when I took out my student loan, you had to start paying it back when you earned over £15K (plus, mine won't be written off until I either retire or die).

However, my student loan started gaining interest in 2001 but I didn't start earning over £15K until 2010, so by the time I started paying it off, it had increased by almost £4,000 in interest!

It shouldn't be, if people knew the full facts.   If they earn £30k per year after graduating, they'd only repay £67.50 per month back of their student loan. 

That seems a bit low - I earn about that much and I pay around £100 to 120 per month in student loans (my income varies a little each month). In the last few months, as I've been earning more while abroad, my student loan payments have been more like £180-200 per month.

That seems a bit low - I earn about that much and I pay around £100 to 120 per month in student loans (my income varies a little each month). In the last few months, as I've been earning more while abroad, my student loan payments have been more like £180-200 per month.

You're on the old scheme, it's completely different now, lower payments, higher income disregard.  It's pretty much a tax in all but name.  Your fees would have been lower so though.

On the old scheme, it's £98 per month on a £30k (pre tax) salary.

It's pretty much a tax in all but name. 

I'm going to have to chew on that a while.

I'm going to have to chew on that a while.

Calling it a graduate tax wouldn't go down well.

Some people will repay what they owe, so in that respect it's not a tax.  An average school teacher might never repay their student debt, so it'll be an effective tax until it's written off.