Partner Staying out Late, Advice?

This may or may not be the best place to post this query, but I didn't see anywhere else that quite fit.  
Here's my dilemma which may or may not be an overblown issue, but it does nag me, so it's important to me.  My partner frequently goes out after work (he's in theatre) with colleagues and friends and despite his reassurances that he won't be out late, that he's tired and will be home fairly early, he ends up staying out till around 1 or 1:30.  Now, I know that's not very late and it could be much worse, but when he has a pattern of saying "I'll be home soon" around 10 and then texts again and again to say the same thing, not really apologising for how late it's getting, it really gets on my nerves, especially when I want to get to sleep, but can't because I'm wondering when the next text will come or that final one will come saying "I'm on the way."  
I've told him I don't mind if he goes out, don't mind if he stays out late, but what I DO mind is when he never figures out when he is coming back.  I don't sleep well, if at all when he does this, so it affects my mood and by the time he does get home I'm rather grumpy.
For instance, last night at around 8:30 he texted to say he was going to a bar with a colleague and I replied jokingly "I knew it!! A 1am home time!" and his reply was "Eh no".  Then at 10 I texted to say I was headed to bed and his reply was to say he'd be home soon.  At 11 he texted "Still here. Having a great night. Having another drink."  That was the last text I got from him before I woke up to his coming in at 1 or 1:30.  So I feel like he's being disrespectful by telling me he'll be home soon when we both know he won't.  
I don't want to stop him from going out and enjoying himself, but I want a nice balance of his telling me when he'll be home and actually doing it.  I don't want to come across as a nag, but it really makes me angry because this happens about 1-2 times a month and has been an issue for me since we married.  

I was reading a mumsnet thread on this recently (good lord I've learned a lot from mumsnet - are we men really so horrible?).

But it seems to me that if you both know he will be arriving at 1-1:30, then there is no real 'mystery'. So if he says ten, just reply, "How about 1:30?"

Put a pillow and blanket on the couch so he doesn't wake you.

When my wife comes in late from a business thing I usually have her a snack (sandwich or something) waiting in case she is hungry, and a note telling her not to wake me.

I admit this would annoy me too- but I think it is really good intentions, he wants to come home early, and does intend to- but then gets wrapped up in the conversation and the evening. I agree the best thing to do is just know it isn't going to be an early night and try your best to just let it go.

You said he "frequently goes out after work" but later you say 1-2 times per month. That doesn't seem like a lot, but I too would have a problem if he says one thing and does another. To me it shows lack of respect for your feelings.

OK, fine, he's established a pattern. But when someone says 10 and it's 1, I start to worry, as there might be a time when he was headed home and something happened.

As with a lot of things, you must ask yourself "how important is it"; from your post, it seems it is important - so try to talk it out. You're not asking him not to go, just to say what he means AND mean what he says. As long as you do the same, it's not too much to ask.

IMHO accepting what is unacceptable to you is likely to lead to resentment and spill over to other aspects of your relationship over time. It is about respect, when all is said and done.

If its once or twice a month and you know he has a pattern of coming in late, I'd put the blanket and pillow on the couch and leave it at that. If its night after night I wouldn't put up with it.

If its once or twice a month and you know he has a pattern of coming in late, I'd put the blanket and pillow on the couch and leave it at that. If its night after night I wouldn't put up with it.

I feel the same way as Fruitgum.. On occasion is one thing. Few times a week routinely would be totally different. As to me it would show a lack of consideration for you.
Just my opinion others may vary .. x

I agree with the ones who have said to have a talk about meaning what you say, and just calling it 1 or 1:30 instead of all the 'home soon' texts. I am as guilty as anyone for getting wrapped up in conversation, so I understand it can happen. If he is out with a particular friend or friends where the talking can get long winded, just plan for those nights to be late, and help him to understand you'd appreciate hearing up front they are going to be late. We all have that friend, group, or family member that brings out our chatty side.

There is nothing wrong with wanting the respect of knowing a bit of a time range. It is a bit much to ask for specifics and expect it to be right on the minute, but within a relatively close time range, such as 1 or 1:30.

I also agree that if he can't come in quietly without waking you up, a pillow and blanket on the couch is acceptable.