ok, so update. things finally got out in the open between me and my MIL. my husband decided that right before we all would stuck in a car for a three hour road trip would be the best time to tell his dad that I was annoyed by some things MIL said to which of course he told his wife. Needless to say, the car ride was extremely tense and awkward!
His mother pulls us aside later and says sorry if she has caused any offense. We then started talking and I said moving has been extremely tough on me and everytime I see her, she asks if I'm going to stay here and it comes off as pressure, which is something i don't need right now. And as well she needs to understand during holidays, that I need to see my family too and she needs to not be upset about it in front of me.
Her reaction was to mostly blame everyone else and try to talk her way out of her actions. She said she was just trying to make conversation and that she feels making conversation with me a struggle since I'm so quiet and dont seem like I want to talk to her. (What I didn't say was that i quit talking to her because she gossips to everyone about what I say, even trying to talk to my parents about me, asking what our plans were to stay and gossiping about the few issues me and my husband have. But me telling her that then means me telling her that my parents have repeated what she has said to them) And her "wanting to make conversation" only includes leading questions, like "am i going to stay in UK." Not "how are you doing" or "how's work"...you know, the basics. And she feels like she is walking on eggshells around me. She wasnt getting at all how she was being and refused to own up to any of her actions. She chalked it up to her "trying to hard." And also claimed she was completely fine if we ever wanted to move back to the US, to which me and my husband gave each other a look like, "yeah right." She basically tried to make it seem like it was all in our heads, even though everyone plainly sees this isnt the case.
Even at one point, she tried turning around things on me, saying she's offended at me for waiting all this time to tell me all this. I called her on trying to turn things around, saying, here we are, trying to communicate with her but she isn't listening and making things somehow our fault. i said we were going around in circles. And we all agreed to stop the conversation and just agree to be more open.
On one hand, it was good to get things out in the open. I now feel more comfortable telling her how I feel and when she pisses me off. But on the other hand, she refuses to see how any of her actions were hurtful or wrong. And it's super irritating that she thinks i'm dumb enough for her to try to pull the wool over my eyes but whatever. now i'm going to call her on her ways and that's good.
