Should I Stay or Should I Go!

Haven't been on here in quite some time and not sure where to post this, so when in doubt, put it in chit chat!
Just looking for some input on my sort of dilemma...
 
The first part of my spouse visa expires in June and am thinking about not bothering to apply for the second half. 
The reasons are:

I realized that I have spent (much) more time in the US then the UK during the past (almost) 2.5 years

I miss my son & the rest of my family when I am in the UK & can't imagine only seeing them only a few times a year if I lived here permanently

I have never felt "settled" here, always feel like I am visiting and always have a sense of relief when I am back home in the USA, that yes, things are back to normal for me


DH lives in London, tbh I Hate living in London and DH will always live in London for his work

I really have no friends here, I do keep myself busy in the house and going the gym/walking/cycling, but in America I have a much better social life and activities and friends and there is always something going on for me

So it seems except for DH, (who luckily is able to come over to the USA for several weeks at a time several times during a year) I have no real reason to have a visa to live here :-/

In an ideal world, I would spend half the year in the UK & half in the US, as DH will eventually move to the US after he retires in 15+ years, or there is the slight chance that I will move over then, but that chance is pretty slim.

The dilemma for me is at this point, do I let the spouse visa expire and just go back to visiting, (which means I need to close my bank account, paypal/ebay accounts, take my name off of the household accounts, etc... & drive on my US license rather then my UK license, along with not having access if needed to the NHS.  Then get back to living more or less full-time in the USA, instead of floating back and forth between the two countries, which sounds great on paper, but is very difficult in real life, sigh. Funny when I first "moved" over here, I thought for sure that I would never, ever regret it and would fit right into life here, ha. Best laid plans and all that!

OR

Apply for the second half of the visa, as the next 2.5 years will roll along whether I have the visa or not and the cost/requirements for a visa will be more expensive & difficult if we decide to let it go now and possibly apply again in 10-15 + years.  If I qualify for FLR 2, then I can eventually start the ball rolling on citizenship and we can do 1/2 the year here and 1/2 in the USA.  But, I am also concerned that I will not qualify for the visa, as I have spent a huge amount of time out of the UK and don't want to spend the cash (as I would need a same day appointment) if I am not going get the visa!

So I keep bouncing back and forth between the above, one minute I think, right thats it, I'm done, let's make this easy and just come to visit for a month here and there, forget the visa.  Then it is, I need the visa, it's foolish to have already spent the money and gone through the aggravation of applying for it in the first place to just abandon it when I am already almost half way through the process, but I don't want to live here so what is the point! 

There you go, going slightly crazy trying to figure out what to do, so any and all advice would be very much appreciated!

Unfortunately this is something only you (and your husband) can answer.

I would encourage you to get citizenship, BUT it sounds very unlikely you will qualify due to time out of the UK.  So, there's not *much* point in renewing if it won't lead to citizenship.

It sounds like you would be happier having the US as your permanent residence and being a visitor to the UK.  If your husband is okay with that, then there is nothing wrong with that.

That's a tough choice.

If you plan on coming to the UK often, a spouse visa would mean less hassle at the border and less risk of being refused entry. If the IO thought you were trying to live in the UK on a visitor visa (it's a fine line), they could refuse you entry.

If I were in your shoes (and I realise there are other factors that play into your decision) and planned on spending a lot of time in the UK, I'd go for the spouse visa for the peace of mind at the border.

If you get FLR now, you'll be able to apply for ILR after 2.5 years. Once you've got that, as long as you're not out of the UK for more than 2 years, they can't take it away. There's no need to apply for citizenship straight away.

Unfortunately this is something only you (and your husband) can answer.

I would encourage you to get citizenship, BUT it sounds very unlikely you will qualify due to time out of the UK.  So, there's not *much* point in renewing if it won't lead to citizenship.

It sounds like you would be happier having the US as your permanent residence and being a visitor to the UK.  If your husband is okay with that, then there is nothing wrong with that.

Hi KFdancer, hope all is well with you! Thanks for responding  yes, I think, well I know I'd be happier being in the US, but, there is always this BUT, would it be a better decision in the long run to get the visa. I actually feel slightly guilty sometimes about not being 100% or even at 25% about living here with my husband when there are sooo many who would give their right arm to be here 

That's a tough choice.

If you plan on coming to the UK often, a spouse visa would mean less hassle at the border and less risk of being refused entry. If the IO thought you were trying to live in the UK on a visitor visa (it's a fine line), they could refuse you entry.

If I were in your shoes (and I realise there are other factors that play into your decision) and planned on spending a lot of time in the UK, I'd go for the spouse visa for the peace of mind at the border.

If you get FLR now, you'll be able to apply for ILR after 2.5 years. Once you've got that, as long as you're not out of the UK for more than 2 years, they can't take it away. There's no need to apply for citizenship straight away.

and hello to you TF! Yes, the fine line of living/visiting (if we don't apply for FLR 2) is why I would close my bank account and take my name off of everything & maybe even apply for a visitor visa. I would be happy with just ILR down the road, but the one BIG thing that is holding me back about even thinking about applying for the second half of the visa is me being out of the country so much in the past 2.5 years, would I even qualify for the visa at at this point.  Great advice as always  from both of you, but I'm still chasing my tail over trying to figure out what to do I think if I knew for sure, as we qualify financially and I am (pretty sure) I have all the mail/documentation needed, that if I knew that being away from the UK for such beg chunks of time would not affect me adversely, then maybe I would lean more to applying.  It is just the thought of spending that kind of cash on a "maybe" is not a good thought at all.  You are both right, it is a really, really hard decision!

Hi Stephanie- Tough call, but I would think carefully about the 'what ifs'.
If you have the abilities and qualify for visas okay ,you may want to continue on the path towards ILR.  It may help avoid any future heartache and you'd be kicking yourself (but hopefully no such situtation comes up that you have heartache). 

If you do decide to give the visa up, not sure if it's worth looking into getting a long term visitor visa, to save you any hassle in the future

Good luck!

Hi PB, hope all is well with you and thanks for replying!  Oh and yes the "what if's" have been swirling round in my head for some time now!  Though in hindsight, I think I jumped the gun on getting the visa in the first place, as neither my son or myself were ready for me to make the move permanently halfway across the world quite yet. 
 I don't think I will qualify for the second half of the spouse visa because of the amount of time spent out of the UK anyway, so that is it for me for the time being.  Maybe in the future we will try for the spouse visa again, but in the meantime we will continue to visit each other as we have been. 
I have been tossing around whether or not to apply for a visitor's visa next time I come to visit, or just see what happens, since I am just a visitor now and not living in the UK now, but I have plenty of time to figure that out until my next visit!

Hi Stephanie!

Hope you are well. Definitely agree with all the above answers given and it is definitely a tough choice that only you and your husband can make together. Just wanted to add that if you don't think you will qualify due to all the time out of the country, it might not be worth even trying because it is a fairly steep price to pay (that's nonrefundable and could be spent on flights to visit each other - for example). Could you speak with an immigration solicitor perhaps to get  a better idea of the liklihood of whether or not you'd be rejected with all that time out of the country and how it might impact your visits in future? I know it's a bit late of a response! sorry!

Eh, don't mind the late reply, all replies are good and thank you for the advice   Actually today is the day my visa expires and since I am here in the USA, the decision has been made to let it expire! 
When I next visit the UK, several months from now, it will really be as a visitor, not to live there and both my husband and I are ok with that.  It is actually easier for me to be in the USA for the foreseeable future, then trying to live my life in two different countries.  Someday down the line it may change, but for now, this arrangement is working for us 

As long as you two are happy with that decision, that is the only thing that matters Perhaps when you visit, you could just leave some clothes -or buy new ones! - if you haven't already, to make your traveling lighter. Will make those visits potentially less hassle as you won't be lugging a big suitcase around

Best of luck!