Lots of Questions - Kids 8 and 10 1/2

Ok, I have a MILLION questions.  Speaking to my prospective new boss next week and I need to decide if even moving to the UK is the right thing for my family.  Looking for someone who made the move when they had kids and how it went for them.  I know each child has different personalities, so hard to say, but any feedback is appreciated.  My daughter(the 10 1/2 year old) is very out going, so not worried about her, but my 8 year old son is quieter and has mild anxiety.  They currently go to private catholic school and are "gifted" intelligence, but we don't go crazy with the academics as I want them to enjoy childhood and not feel pressured to become rocket scientists by age 13  .  Would I do private or public school? My office would be in Reading, but I heard that getting a drivers license takes forever...how do you handle kids and all the errands, activities, etc. without a car?  My kids are always enrolled in various sports and my daughter acts.  I'm assuming kids do activities over there too, right?  Without a car how do I get them around?  My head is about to explode...  Thank you for any and all advice!  Moving to europe has always been on our bucket list, but I never thought it might actually happen...  Excited and nervous all at the same time at the possibility.

Well, for a start you can drive on your US licence for 12 months (but you do need to take the UK 2 part test and pass before the end of the 12 months) so you'll be able to get around.

As to whether you should move with children/private school versus state school: it's a very personal decision. How long will you be in the UK, will you have a visa that leads to permanent residence, are you intending to return to the US etc. etc.? If you're thinking that this will be a short term assignment perhaps you should be looking for an American school so that your children will easily slot back into the appropriate grade when upon return? Will you be on a package that easily allows access to private education? I can't advise on what activities will be available for your children in the Reading area/wherever you decide to live but I'm sure you can research that, and perhaps someone will be along with personal information.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Our current plan is 2 years.  We would definitely return.  I didn't know there was such thing as an "American school"..  are those good?  But wouldn't the kids just be with Americans then and not get the true "british experience"...hmmm...  Thanks for the car advice.  Glad to know we have a year to get a license!

There is an American school near Virginia Water which is about a 30 minute train ride from Reading.  I would DEFINITELY do American school and not British.  I'd look for housing near the school and use the trains to commute.  I live near Reading in Wokingham.

School here is very different and after school activities are not as popular.  Here, kids need to know what they want to be by the age of 13, as they stop having a well rounded education and choose 3 subjects to focus on at 14 that will start to set them up for their future.  It's very difficult to change your mind after this point.

They will still experience England, it will just be a bit easier to settle in and transition back.

The only thing I can add is that living expenses and housing will be roughly the same as San Jose.  You can use a property web site called Rightmove to get an idea of rents and schools in any place you are thinking of living.

Here, kids need to know what they want to be by the age of 13, as they stop having a well rounded education and choose 3 subjects to focus on at 14 that will start to set them up for their future.  It's very difficult to change your mind after this point.

That's not quite right. They do general education (GCSE) until 16, then choose their 3-5 A-level or AS-level subjects. It is true that they have to choose their subjects relatively early (16) and after that it's difficult to change paths. Just not quite as early as 13 .

That's not quite right. They do general education (GCSE) until 16, then choose their 3-5 A-level or AS-level subjects. It is true that they have to choose their subjects relatively early (16) and after that it's difficult to change paths. Just not quite as early as 13 .

My husband's cousin's daughter (long connection but we are quite close) has had to choose a handful of subjects for her GCSE's.  She has math, English, and science, then is doing specific subjects that will hopefully set her up for a career behind the camera in the film industry.  She's at a private school, so maybe that's the reason for the earlier push towards knowing what she wants to do?  Her mom is a teacher at the school and she said they start career counselling with the kids at the age of 10.  I would love for her to be exaggerating as I can't imagine my two year old would have any earthly idea what she wants to be when she grows up in 8 years time. 

You can choose certain subjects at GCSE, but some sort of math, English, science, etc, is standard. It's like US high school where you have certain requirements to fulfil but then can choose other subjects outside of that. The difference for a private school would be the range of other subjects available. I promise British students don't have to choose their whole lives by 13 . Some people even take a break between GCSEs and A-levels to decide what they want to do, though now I believe there is a law requiring everyone under 18 to be in some form of education or training.

It is more difficult to change your path once you've chosen it in the UK system, but if you choose for example to study math, chemistry, and physics at A-level that just means you can't go to uni for literature, which you probably wouldn't want to do anyway. With those A-levels you'd probably qualify for a whole range of science, maths, or technology uni programmes.

The main difference between US and UK secondary education is that the US focuses on breadth and the UK on depth. Neither is a better or a worse way, they're just different. I've always thought I would have done better in the UK system as I knew from quite a young age what I wanted to study. Others would do better in the US system. All part of life's rich tapestry .

To the OP, I'd second the recommendation to put your children into an American school as it's not easy to transition between the two systems, and if they'll only be in the UK for two years it's not really worth it. If you were going to stay longer or if there were any chance your kids would want to go to university in the UK, then I'd suggest placing them in a UK school.

Thanks Historyenne, that makes me feel a bit more at ease.  I know I am a success story of the forgiving US system - I didn't start attending University until I was 22 and selected my final path at 24.  I would have absolutely picked wrong in the UK system.  My husband is a success story of the UK system but thinks he would have preferred the US system.  I just hope my daughter fits the UK-mold!  If she doesn't, at least we have the option of either American schools or moving to the US. 

Sorry to take your thread off track OP!   

Yeah, it's definitely not as young as 13 - I didn't choose my general career subjects until I was 16 and then refined it down to one when I was applying for university (and actually what I'm doing now is not what I planned for back then) - I went through a number of different career possibilities in that time.

For GCSE's you have to take a minimum of 9 subject qualifications and some gifted students take up to 11 or 12!

When I was in school we HAD to take:
- English Language
- English Literature
- Maths
- Double Science (2 GCSE's but taught as separate Biology, Physics and Chemistry classes)
- a language (French or German)
- a humanity (Geography or History)
- a technology subject (food technology, textiles, woodwork, graphics or metalwork)
- one or maybe two other subjects (Drama, PE, the other language, the other humanity, Religious Education, Music, Art etc.)

For mine, I did the compulsory English, Maths and Science subjects, then French, Geography, Food Technology and Drama.

When I was studying for A levels we only took 3 subjects as standard, but some students took up to 4 if they could cope with the work. A couple of years later, though, they changed it so that 5 subjects were required for the first year, so you got AS levels in 5 subjects, and then you could drop down to 3 subjects in the second year (age 17) if you wanted.


For A levels I chose Geography, Physics and Maths because I was interested in becoming a geophysicist. I originally thought I would take English and French at A level, and I almost studied French as well but the classes clashed with the Physics class I was in and I didn't want to switch to the other physics group. Plus it probably would have been too much work to study 4 subjects anyway.

I don't really regret anything about my subject choices. I just wish they had taught English more thoroughly at GCSE level because I feel it was too vague and basic.


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Thanks for ask the info!!  No idea what level A means but I am assuming that is either a series of tests they have to take or going into high school...  My kids are in 2nd and 5th.  Rental prices actually look cheaper than here(a house is typically $4k a month) but I almost fell off my chair when I saw the American school was $32k a year...god I hope I read that wrong.  I only pay $8500... With two kids and my hubby not working I don't think we could swing that...

Yeah, I would imagine rental prices would be less than parts of California.

Education at a private school is usually standard on expat contracts.  I would push that with your employer.  Going back and forth between the two systems could be very tough on your kids (of course it depends on the individual child). 

Thanks for ask the info!!  No idea what level A means but I am assuming that is either a series of tests they have to take or going into high school...  My kids are in 2nd and 5th.

Sorry got a bit carried away with the education stuff there.

GCSEs (General Certificate of Secondary Education) are compulsory 2-year courses taken between age 14 and 16, and are basically equivalent to a US high school diploma.

 'A Levels' (Advanced Levels) are 2-year courses usually taken between the age of 16 and 18, and are the main academic entry requirements for UK university. They are generally considered equivalent to either AP classes, a US Associates Degree, or the first year or two of college in the US.

If you've read the Harry Potter books, OWLs are the wizarding equivalent of GCSEs and NEWTs are the equivalent of A Levels.



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OK, so I spoke to my perspective UK boss today and he is AWESOME!!!  He really liked me and I have the next round of "discussions" next week.  He asked me if there was anything keeping me from moving to the UK and I was honest about my kids and that I have heard the schools are super impacted and I won't put my kids in a bad school..it is a deal breaker.  He has two kids a bit younger than mine and totally understood.  He said he moved to Wokingham which is 12 minutes from our office because there are 4 good public schools there.   With the cost of private American school, the fact that my kids are not that close to high school, and the fact that I really want them to have the British experience, I think I would lean toward public IF I can get into a good one.  I also spoke with my friend who did the same thing with her daughter for two years and they went the public route with no issues.  Her daughter is back in US private school with no issues...  So...  I am at a 50% chance for moving there!!!  Thanks again for all the advice.  Who knows where this will take me and if this will work out, but excited for the opportunity to try to make it work!

I'm in Wokingham.  Let me know if you want info on schools as you get closer.  Yes, the schools are great here but very VERY oversubscribed.  As are most, I think.