So some of you may remember my epic rant
http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=84946.0 about the UK. Just wanted to post an update now that I've moved back to the states. I've been back about two months (In NYC to be exact) and I just wanted to post about what's it's like to return...is the grass greener?
In my case....so far yes
Here are the big things I've noticed about life in NYC vs London that made me understand more what was missing and made me so unhappy.
1) Life is so much less stressful. Now that I'm out of London, I realize how ill day to day life made me there.I felt like everything was a battle and everyone seemed so miserable and rushing way too much. It took a heavy toll on me. I was constantly having colds, really upset stomach, extreme fatigue and even my bones becoming brittle. I felt like a shell of a person there. Now NYC isn't exactly slow, but it seems so much more relaxed and weirdly less crowded than London (even though there's supposedly more people.) Some parts of NYC are super packed but in London, EVERYWHERE and everything we tried to do was super packed.
2) NYC is more expensive, however, we get paid more than we ever did in London. I even had one recruiter tell me not to say my salary from London because people would wonder why I was being paid so little. And I used to work for a firm that paid higher than market value! So now, we can afford a bit more things like seemed like luxuries in the UK, like a gym membership. We also are saving a lot more, and in the UK, all of our money wold run out every month. Now buying a house, etc seems more in reach.
3) People are very friendly. NYC isn't exactly known to be a friendly place but I am finding that stereotype to be wrong. People seem happier, smile, make small talk and make us laugh all the time. I used to be annoyed at the overly positive culture of the US but now I get it. A smile goes a long way. And it's made me open up more too. Though to be fair to London, since I had to work so hard to make friends and put myself out there, I feel like the experience helped me come a bit more out of my shell.
4) This one is usual but I don't feel as much pressure to look perfect.I was super depressed in London because all the women look like models and everyone is so polished. Which is nice in it's own way but I never felt worse about my appearance. In NYC women look normal. Not as many fake tans, full makeup, etc. And the style is more comfortable while still stylish. I feel way more at ease and the same pressure isn't there anymore. I found myself doing things like eyelash enhancers when previously I never would have thought to do that.
5) Chains. Both cities are full of them but London has way more. Almost everywhere we went was a chain and while the food, drink, whatever it was was good, it felt a bit empty and soulless. NYC has more mom and pop places making it seem a bit more inspiring and quirky.
6) Safety. A lot more horrifying things happen in NYC according to the news (but seems to be more centered in the Bronx and parts of Brooklyn) and there's a lot more unstable people but in London there were several times I had tense situations on buses/trains where aggressive people would get on and bully people and I was genuinely scared. Haven't had that here but I'm not sure which I feel more safe yet.
7) I am healthier. In London, I was the heaviest I've ever been in my life, having gained 15 pounds that took me years and a ridiculously strict diet to lose. I know several people that have gone through the same and even an NHS nurse said she saw it a lot and doesn't know why people gain weight when they move there. But since it's easier to get out and about (so much is at our doorstep) and work out in NYC, I am now at a weight I haven't seen since high school (I'm 35 now.)
Transport
Granted I lived a bit further out from the center of London in southeast London (in Greenwich, we couldn't afford to live further in) and now we live in Manhattan so it's of course easier to get around in NYC. The trains seem a lot less clean definitely but it's a much less stressful experience than the tube. I haven't been pitted against someone unable to breathe like in London (and I have been on a train where someone passed out because it was too crowded and hot)
9) Escaping. It's easier to go to a decent beach or go hiking in New York. Although I really miss easy access to Europe.
10) Now that bad. In NYC, you have to worry about horrifying things like infestations and in London, thanks to the weather, we didn't see many bugs at all.
11) Health care cost a mint BUT I trust the doctors and care here more. That doesn't mean though that I think the system works because it doesn't. But the NHS left me feeling hopeless and very stressed out. Ignoring my issues and flat out being hostile to me regarding my mental health issues. If you live in a post code with bad doctors you are out of luck. And many people I know were misdiagnosed. I never got help for anything I needed which is too bad and maybe why I felt so ill all the time.
12) A weird one but I finally got a decent haircut. Don't know why but it seemed impossible to find a competent hairstylist in London. Many of my ex-pat coworkers would lament about the same.
Anyway, obviously it was better for me to leave. It was super lucky that my husband got a job in NYC and he also knew I wasn't happy. Thankfully he seems really happy as well. Although it wasn't for me, I think I needed the experience to grow and know myself better so I'd never take it back. Also I made some good friends who I miss dearly. And my job and coworkers were fantastic so it wasn't all bad. Although I felt like I did all I could to enjoy London; build a life for myself, explore and take in all that it offers...I just wasn't coping very well there and it never seemed to pay off. America definitely isn't perfect by any means and there's things that make me angry here too (speaking of fake tans) and we may not stay in this city even, but I feel at least there's many more cities we could settle in America if we didn't like NYC.
I think life in the two cities could actually be summed up this way, and this is actually coming from my husband. For Londoners life is just ok, and that's the most they would hope for. In America, things can either be really amazing or really terrible.