Dinner Party Etiquette

Even if they were it was you hosting the dinner party in presumbly your house, thefore is there any reason why things shouldn't be done your way.

Anyway, we had a few people round for an early thnaksgiving dinner and recived a bunch of flowers and 2 bottes of mead. The flowers were put in a vase(not much else you can do-pass them round? ) and the mead was left unopned.

To be fair dear, we might have opened one of the bottles of mead if we hadn't gone crazy buying a million kinds of alcohol beforehand 

To be fair dear, we might have opened one of the bottles of mead if we hadn't gone crazy buying a million kinds of alcohol beforehand 

Most of which we didn't drink.

Your SIL was incredibly, horribly, terribly rude and selfish.  Way out of line, especially about the Weight Watchers comment.  Isn't it illegal to diet on Thanksgiving or Christmas?  I've always found that it works better to go off the diet on those days, stuff yourself with your favorite foods, then the next day you're sick of food and quite fine with the lettuce leaves. You might like your SIL, but she has a mean streak.  Definitely on Santa's naughty list - lump of coal for her!

Your SIL was incredibly, horribly, terribly rude and selfish.  Way out of line, especially about the Weight Watchers comment.  Isn't it illegal to diet on Thanksgiving or Christmas?  I've always found that it works better to go off the diet on those days, stuff yourself with your favorite foods, then the next day you're sick of food and quite fine with the lettuce leaves.

Well, she also did apologize for the WW comment later; and, she certainly said nothing about what I was eating prior; it was just the one comment.
And the fact she put me up for a month after I arrived in the country, I can't really hold it against her too much.

You might like your SIL, but she has a mean streak.  Definitely on Santa's naughty list - lump of coal for her!

Her brother isn't that different.... which is why he stayed in LA and I moved to London!
 

I would think that having people over to share an American holiday, that American Rules were in order. Besides, I think in this case, the items were brought as gifts and it's up to the hostess when and if they should be opened/shared. To point out what your SIL thought was a faux pas on your part was doubly wrong.

The Brits have Mrs Beeton!

From http://lifewise.canoe.ca/LifewiseWorkEtiquette/eti_work13.html
"If you are attending a meal-oriented function, it's best to call ahead and see if there is something specific the hostess would like you to bring that will compliment the meal. Otherwise, do not be offended if the hostess opts not to serve or pour your gift. Remember - it's a "hostess" gift which he/she may use at their discretion."

From: http://www.party411.com/queen02b.html
"When a host receives a bottle of wine as a gift, should the bottle be  opened and enjoyed at the event. Is it rude for the host to set the wine gift  aside and make another selection from his own collection?
The Etiquette Queen says:
No it is not rude. Usually the host has planned the wine ahead to go with  whatever he or she is serving. The gift should be savored later."

From: http://www.post-gazette.com/food/20010222entertain4.asp
"My goal as hostess is to make my guests feel comfortable and to ensure that they enjoy themselves. Opening gifts at a small party or dinner can make other guests who might not have brought a gift feel uncomfortable"
and
"The general guideline, however, is that food or wine, when brought as a gift, should not be consumed immediately, but put aside, to be opened at a later time"

From: http://forums.chef2chef.net
"You should always presume that your wine will NOT be opened if it is a dinner party. If it is a casual get together wherre the host has suggested you bring whatever you want to drink, that's another story altogether."

From: http://www.pagewise.com/wine-bottle-buying.htm
"Remember, traditionally, a bottle of wine presented to a host or hostess by a guest is a gift. Although he or she may choose to do so, the host or hostess is not obligated or even expected to serve the wine with that evening’s meal."

...I can go on, actually. I found 12,000 hits when I searched. So far no disagreeing with the consensus. Uhhh...safe to assume that while your SIL might be the sweetest person in the world, she is also WRONG.