Cannot Work Retail Due to Feeling Suicidal. PLEASE HELP

Hello Everyone,

I have been in a very dark place right now when it comes to finding suitable employment. I have tried working two retail jobs and I have had to leave due to extreme anxiety attacks and feeling suicidal. I worked as a housing officer before coming to the UK to be with my husband but its so competitive to get a job other than retail, food service or cleaning. I am at a loss as to what to do. I am so worthless and work and going on interviews really do not pan out for me. I wish my pain could end.

Call the Samaritans, they will know the best way to help you.  https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you

Immigration can be very hard.

Make a doctor's appointment first thing.

Immigration can be very hard.

Make a doctor's appointment first thing.

Yes please see somebody ASAP!


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Morning!

Thank you for posting how you are feeling.  It is always good to tell someone if you are feeling low.

None of us think you are worthless - or we would not have replied to you. 

Life can be so hard, especially when the days are so short.  Almost as if it is always dark.

I think it may be time for you to make yourself a cup of tea, settle yourself down and ring the doctor to make an appointment.  Once you have an appointment with the doctor, then it would be good for you to be able to have a chat with someone while you are waiting to see your GP.  As suggested, the Samaritans are good at listening.  Are you a member of a church - could you talk to someone there?  Have a look to see if there are any groups nearby that could help.

It is so hard to be able to talk to people, but you have already taken that first step by posting here.  That takes courage and certainly not the actions of someone who is "worthless."  The next step is making that appointment with your GP. 

I will put the kettle on and have a cup of tea with you while you ring the doctors. 

Everyone here has given you good advice.

Being an immigrant here in the UK is hard, heck even getting that first job is very difficult. So kudos to you for getting those roles on your resume and dealing with people over the holiday period.

I hit an extremely low point myself this year (been here 4 years in February) and making an appointment with my GP was crucial for my mental health. Please make that appointment and let them know that it is urgent that you see them. It may not be easy to actually talk about, but please do it.

Thank you so much guys for responding. It has been a difficult few months for me. Some of the things I have been through you will not believe I could still be standing here to tell the tale. I feel so isolated and alone. To make matters worse my husband is bipolar and is extremely depressed at the moment too. Money is always an issue because we live near Bath which is extremely expensive. Being out of work does not help our situation and although his parents are very supportive, they are both almost 70 years and do not understand being depressed can affect your ability to work. I want to join a church but I do not have a car and public transportation is very bad on Sundays. I wish this could all end.

I just want to chime in and lend some support. Depression is incredibly difficult, and affects all aspects of life including job hunting. You're not alone at all, moving is so hard! I definitely agree with the recommendation about visiting your GP. They can also check your vitamin d levels and in the climate here they are likely quite low. Getting some outside support can help a lot when your spouse also has mental health challenges.

Is it possible to start looking for housing in a less expensive area? Whenever I hit the "I need change, now" point I start looking at the things I do have control over, and sometimes it's very little but just having a few basic goals I can work towards helps me get a bit centered again. In the new year more companies tend to be hiring as well. You could also try to gain some new skills with free online classes, it keeps you busy and may help your job prospects.

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Thank you so much guys for responding. It has been a difficult few months for me. Some of the things I have been through you will not believe I could still be standing here to tell the tale. I feel so isolated and alone. To make matters worse my husband is bipolar and is extremely depressed at the moment too. Money is always an issue because we live near Bath which is extremely expensive. Being out of work does not help our situation and although his parents are very supportive, they are both almost 70 years and do not understand being depressed can affect your ability to work. I want to join a church but I do not have a car and public transportation is very bad on Sundays. I wish this could all end.

I can understand what you're going through. My husband has an autoimmune disease and it greatly affects our day to day life. I'm not driving yet so it's very difficult for me to get around, since he is unable to drive at times and the bus takes so long. I have been struggling with depression since I moved and only just went to my GP about it back in May and it has helped me immensely. I regret not going sooner, but that was the depression doing it's thing. 

Start the process now and make that appointment and check out and see if you can start the process in reaching out to your local mental health trust/organization. As you are having suicidal feelings it's important for you to reach out as soon as you can, okay?

I don't know exactly where you are but these come up in the search.

http://www.bathmind.org.uk/

http://www.awp.nhs.uk/

http://www.bathnes.gov.uk/services/care-and-support-and-you/mental-health

Being an immigrant is hard. I'm heading into my 4th year and can say that first year was the hardest. We struggled for money too. Sometimes, it's just making a little bit of time for something you love, like watching a TV show or having a special American candy bar that makes the day easier. The time difference is hard when you want to talk to your American friends too.

Thanks for the supportive messages and insight. I have reached out to my local GP and she prescribed me Sertraline, an anti-depressant. She also referred me to Bath talking therapies and I have a followup appointment in January. But the thing is that I have been so depressed that I had to go to the emergency room. The mental health nurse practitioner was so nice and understanding in giving me hope for the future. My experience with the NHS has been positive so far, I have been ill in the US and I have not had the same level of care and I paid through the nose for the health insurance I had but I digress. My husband refuses to move to another less expensive area claiming that it would be bad for his mental health if he moves away from his friends and family. He says this when he has a company car for work and does not need to rely on public transportation. He is just so stubborn. Everything anyone suggests, he does the exact opposite. His father who is a precision engineer and has a relatively successful business, he doesn't even want to listen to. I wish there was a better solution to my issues with finding employment. I even signed up for accountancy classes at the local college to learn new skills but it seems like bookkeeping is too rudimentary to start finding finance or even admin jobs. Even with a bachelor's degree I feel discriminated against at my job interviews and I feel that I should try working for myself or freelancing instead of relying on others for my livelihood.

Where exactly do you live? I'm in Dorset, about 2 hours from Bath on the train. If you're anywhere on the train route, maybe we could meet up sometime for a coffee and a chat? I'm a good listener. Send me a PM if you're interested .

I'm glad you're having positive experiences with the NHS.  That's a great start.

I think it is hard for our spouses to understand what it is like for us.  My husband is very caring and sensitive but sometimes he just straight out disagrees if I make an observation about what living here can be like for an outsider.  I guess it's hard to imagine being an outsider when you haven't been one (or if you're British and have been one in the US where they looooove Brits).  We're always here for you to talk to if and when you need us

Just to add, if you fear that you will have difficulty talking to a GP, you can write a note and just give him/her that at the appointment.   

Big hugs!  I hope things are able to turn around for you.

I’m so sorry to hear you’re having an awful time. If you ever need someone to just vent or chat to, please PM me.


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Thanks for the supportive messages and insight. I have reached out to my local GP and she prescribed me Sertraline, an anti-depressant. She also referred me to Bath talking therapies and I have a followup appointment in January.

(sends the flying monkeys with a small beach with summer daylight hours to hang out on)

Glad you're talking to people about what you're going through; you're also doing other people who may not have worked up to talking a service by doing it  ;0)

I'm not online regularly enough to be reliable as a listener, so I can only applaud all the good comments other people have made and be another person that wishes that things get easier for you. Have you ever read Allie Brosh's Adventures In Depression blog? Depression works differently for different people, but just in case it can give you some "oh, hey, yeah, this person knows what I mean" connection, here're the links:


http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html


http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html