Village Life - a topic close to my heart, as I lived in a small one in south Warwickshire for eight years.
It's hard to generalize about "village life" as with many things, they vary tremendously depending upon size, location, etc. and I'm not familiar with the Maidstone area...
Since you have kids and school is important to you, try to get information on whether there is a school in the village you want to live in, and if it is a good one. If you search the threads here, there are links about how to research this. A good school is an important factor in the fabric of village life (as well as the pub... more on that)
Small villages often don't have a lot of amenities and as a result, you have to hop into to the car and drive everywhere. A larger village that has a good pub, post office, store, village hall, school etc. will likely have more going on socially.
People will view you initially with curiousity. Villages are by nature tightly knit communities and as a foreigner, that adds to it. People are more reserved, but it doesn't mean that they're unsociable. It can just takes a while to get to know people.
In our area, some villagers were resentful towards outsiders coming in and buying into "their" villages. These people grew up locally as did their family many generations before them. With the property price boom it has meant that many locals cannot afford to buy in the village they grew up in and love. It's not personal and once people get to know you, that feeling dissipates.
Gossip can be rampant. That's probably one of the things that bothered me the most, how people think they have a "right" to your business. But that was me; I came from a large city and you quickly get to know who NOT to tell things to.
We had many good friends. I took up horse riding. A friend of mine had a paddock in the village with two horses, and another friend kept her horse there. I was beyond fortunate to have access to a great horse that I could ride pretty much whenever I wanted to. Because my friend was local and her husband's occupation was in agriculture, we got to know lots of the local farmers. We also became good friends with our neighbors, the guy grew up in our village and we bought our house from his parents.... these things all took time, but I think making good friends with the locals helped a lot.
One of the greatest assets, in my opinion, are Britain's footpaths and bridleways, rights of way that ramble through the entire country. Live in the countryside and they're right on your doorstep.
On the flip side, there were times when I felt isolated. Our village was small and there were times that I wish more was available.
The Pub: a good one is essential to village life. When looking at houses, stop in your local and get a feel for it. When it comes time to selling up, you'd be surprised at how many people ask what the pub is like. It comes higher on the list of priorities than say, double glazing....
The pub will be a great way to get to know the locals, too. As in our small village, it was the only amenity (apart from the post office which was open on Tuesday mornings, from 9:00 - 1:00 pm)
People will view you with curiosity and you'll be "The American" and people that you don't know and have never met, will know that you're there. Many years ago, late one evening we had a knock at the door. It was the barman from the pub of a neighboring village. Earlier that evening, there were some Americans in their pub and they skipped out without paying up their tab. So, they came around to our house, wondering if we had visitors or knew anything about it...
As with lots of things in life, villages have good points and bad points. But it's what you make of it. Our village had people that I absolutely love and miss, people who were characters and people who were really irritating; that's just the way it is.
These are just some things off of the top of my head that I hope can give you some insight. I need to run off now, but feel free to ask more questions...
And welcome to UKY.
note: edited for a few obvious typos...
