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Topic: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth  (Read 979 times)

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Has anyone else been left feeling worthless and unacceptable after doing dealings with the immigration system?

I'm currently on Tier 2 (General) and I want to switch employers, but this will probably never happen thanks to the resident labour market test.

I feel worthless, undesirable and like I am taking up valuable resources and space that I don't deserve. I've even wondered if the USA would welcome me if they were not stuck with me due to the circumstances with my birth and the laws concerning birth-based citizenship.

This process has made me feel like I am not good enough. Furthermore, that it is something inherently about me that makes me not good enough, not just a lack of training or capital etc. As there are many other comparable immigrants from Europe that don't have any problem coming into the country. I feel like the USA on my passport is a big scarlet letter that has been branded into my being.

If I am genuinely such a detriment to society and other people that come into the country either as babies or as Europeans are so much more worthwhile, then why am I wasting everyone's time and resources? Furthermore, why aren't people who are born in a country held to the same standard as immigrants? If you aren't up to snuff, then why are they tolerating their citizen's existence and their general mediocracy and why not mine?

The world is overpopulated and I understand that we live in a culture of excellence but in that case, some of us have to go, and maybe I'm one of them. I know I do add some sort of emotional value to a select few individuals lives but I'm not sure that that balances out the immense amount of resources it takes just to keep me alive and sheltered etc. I am also taking someone's job away from them. I just basically feel like a burden to the entire world, and if it's true then there is no LOGICAL reason why I should continue to live, although there are a fair few EMOTIONAL reasons why I would want to. But if it is for the greater good, then maybe that's what is best. I don't really want to die, but if I'm doing more harm than good, then it only makes sense. It's like putting down a race horse with a broken leg.

Does anyone else have any experience with this? I feel like I've suffered a great deal mentally under the legislation, but I don't know what I can do about it. Any advice?


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2018, 05:35:01 PM »
Any advice?

See a doctor. Perhaps talk to the Samaritans, sounds like you need help.

And by the way, having a tier 2 in the first place means that you're doing really well. I am really sorry you've encountered difficulty at this stage.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2018, 05:36:57 PM by larrabee »
March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2018, 05:41:17 PM »
Would absolutely second speaking to a professional/professional services as this sounds like it will be above our pay grades, so to speak. I’m sorry you’re left feeling this way :( as mentioned, even having tier 2 is quite an accomplishment so try not to be too hard on yourself.


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2018, 05:45:16 PM »
I definitely agree that talking to a professional is a good step. But I also want you to know you're not alone.

Even coming as a spouse I've felt worthless to the community as a whole many times, and ended up in the most severe depression I've had since my early 20s. I'm a disabled immigrant, the two categories of people constantly shamed by the current UK government because they are easy scapegoats. Add to that feeling completely helpless about the situation back in the states and I really just don't know what to do some days. I hug my cat, tell my friends I love them, and keep my head up to survive another day.

I have a friend in the US who is so completely committed to moving to the UK some day that she has completely ignored everything real about the environment for immigrants, especially those on work visas since you are quite tied to a single employer. Right now I still feel pretty vulnerable because I am tied to my spouse and I love him, I don't think I personally could handle the stress of having that be a corporate entity allowing me to reside in a country.

Are you on a path to ILR? How much longer until you would qualify?

Please make sure you talk with someone... I find mindfulness based therapies help me the most because its less diagnostic and more coping skills.


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2018, 06:46:49 PM »
I don't think that anyone is a waste of space and I am certain you are not.  Please take the advice to seek help from your GP or the Samaritans.  I hope things get better for you soon.


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2018, 06:53:13 PM »
I don't think that anyone is a waste of space and I am certain you are not.  Please take the advice to seek help from your GP or the Samaritans.  I hope things get better for you soon.

Yes 100% you are not a waste of space! (Should’ve included that in my initial post). You matter even if it feels like you don’t


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2018, 06:57:02 PM »
Good advice from Larrabee - to call the Samaritans.  They are at the end of the phone.  They could point you in the right direction to speak to professionals and if not, it would be a good idea to contact your GP.

Thank you for posting here.  No one here thinks you are worthless.  No one here thinks you are not contributing to society.

What you are feeling is understandable - it can be hard here.  But it doesn't mean that you should feel that way.  You have reached out here - now it is time to reach out to others.



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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2018, 07:02:20 PM »
Lots of people suggesting you call the Samaritans.  Give them a call.


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2018, 10:40:43 PM »
Call 116 123, any time, any day. This number is free to call from both landlines and mobiles, including pay-as-you-go mobiles. You do not need to have any credit or call allowance on your plan to call 116 123. It will also not show up on your call log, for privacy.

Email jo@samaritans.org

https://www.samaritans.org/
« Last Edit: June 28, 2018, 10:41:45 PM by Nan D. »


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2018, 10:45:12 PM »
Call 116 123, any time, any day. This number is free to call from both landlines and mobiles, including pay-as-you-go mobiles. You do not need to have any credit or call allowance on your plan to call 116 123. It will also not show up on your call log, for privacy.

Email jo@samaritans.org

https://www.samaritans.org/

Do you personally know somebody that works at samaritans? Asking as I’ve been thinking I’d really like to volunteer if they take volunteers still


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2018, 04:41:03 AM »
Has anyone else been left feeling worthless and unacceptable after doing dealings with the immigration system?

I'm currently on Tier 2 (General) and I want to switch employers, but this will probably never happen thanks to the resident labour market test.

I feel worthless, undesirable and like I am taking up valuable resources and space that I don't deserve. I've even wondered if the USA would welcome me if they were not stuck with me due to the circumstances with my birth and the laws concerning birth-based citizenship.

This process has made me feel like I am not good enough. Furthermore, that it is something inherently about me that makes me not good enough, not just a lack of training or capital etc. As there are many other comparable immigrants from Europe that don't have any problem coming into the country. I feel like the USA on my passport is a big scarlet letter that has been branded into my being.

If I am genuinely such a detriment to society and other people that come into the country either as babies or as Europeans are so much more worthwhile, then why am I wasting everyone's time and resources? Furthermore, why aren't people who are born in a country held to the same standard as immigrants? If you aren't up to snuff, then why are they tolerating their citizen's existence and their general mediocracy and why not mine?

The world is overpopulated and I understand that we live in a culture of excellence but in that case, some of us have to go, and maybe I'm one of them. I know I do add some sort of emotional value to a select few individuals lives but I'm not sure that that balances out the immense amount of resources it takes just to keep me alive and sheltered etc. I am also taking someone's job away from them. I just basically feel like a burden to the entire world, and if it's true then there is no LOGICAL reason why I should continue to live, although there are a fair few EMOTIONAL reasons why I would want to. But if it is for the greater good, then maybe that's what is best. I don't really want to die, but if I'm doing more harm than good, then it only makes sense. It's like putting down a race horse with a broken leg.

Does anyone else have any experience with this? I feel like I've suffered a great deal mentally under the legislation, but I don't know what I can do about it. Any advice?

Oh dear  :\\\'( I am sorry that you’re feeling traumatized by the system. Please know that despite what you are feeling, you are valued and loved and appreciated. Please seek out help wherever you can, and please know that you have friends here always happy to listen.  :)
American Citizen - British Husband 🇬🇧❤️🇺🇸
Married - 15th April 2018 💏
Biometrics & Application mailed - 25th May 2018
Pkg rcv’d email from Sheffield - 29th May 2018
Decision made email - 13th July 2018 (33 BD)
Pkg rcv'd back from Sheffield - 16th July 2018 (APPROVED!)
Arrived in UK - 8th August 2018


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2018, 01:57:01 PM »
I totally understand where you are coming from. I was essential to my employer, but felt like I constantly had to justify my existence and explain myself to so many people. It was completely exhausting. Some times were worse than others. Even though I have naturalised as British now, I will still always be 'other'.

I agree the fact that you got a Tier 2 in the first place marks you out as a bit special... so you aren't worthless and it's a bit crap that you are feeling this way. Counselling (someone to talk to) might help, but the Samaritans and your GP are fantastic resources that you really should access. They are resources that you have EVERY right as a human being to use.
2004-2008: Student Visa
2008-2010: Tier 1 PSW
2010-2011: Tier 4
2011-2014: Tier 2
2013-2016: New Tier 2 (changed jobs)
16/12/15: SET (LR) successful! - It's been a long road...
12/05/16: Citizenship ceremony!


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2018, 03:20:07 PM »
Thanks everyone.

I did try and give the Samaritans a ring a fair few times last night. Unfortunately, they didn't answer and the meassage said everyone was busy and to try again. I do attend counselling on a weekly basis to discuss this, but it's difficult because sometimes the woman just suggests that I return to the states where I would have more freedoms and not feel so trapped. But thats kind of a non-starter. I'm going to make this work or I die trying to make it work.

I am on the slow path to ILR, but I've only got a three year visa at the inexperienced pay rate, and I'm not optimistic that I will be able to increase my wages by 10,000 GBP in two years... So I'm likely going home in a year and a half unless I have or adopt a child, or get married.
OR I can keep trying to get a new job... My employer is kind of mean. My manager even once threatened not to try and renew my visa when it comes up for renewal. Everyone not trapped by their visa leaves because it's such a toxic environment to work in. Not one of my same-level colleagues that were here when I got this job, are still in the position. The turnover is ridiculous.

My partner sees that I am suffering and blames himself and it often seems like the logical thing to do would be to humanely euthanize this relationship and entire endeavour because everything is so stupidly hard.

It makes me want to just commit fraud and trade my identity and documents to a similar person who wants to live in America. Or just walk into the woods and get on with living my life away from the constant scrutiny of the government and authority. Why is there no option to withdraw from the social contract?

I really feel like there is no one with enough expertise and empathy to speak to about this to on a proper level

My counselor doesn't fully understand, I've been blown off by lawyers, and my family and friends are like "it will work out in the end" (they don't know that - they've never faced a resident labour market test).

I've considered going to citizens advice, but I think that the sort of advice they dish up is more superficial. And I don't need to be directed towards the gov.uk website... I know where to find it.

I need a solution and there has to be one if I put in enough blood, sweat and tears. But maybe there isn't one and I'm playing the part of a fool. Either way I'm going down with this ship. Either it will work out and I will receive permission to continue to exist and follow my dreams or I'll die trying. There's no "going back" unless I'm dead. I won't let the system win.

Kindest regards,

Ashley L. Mikkola


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #13 on: June 29, 2018, 04:15:28 PM »
Some people just breeze right through the immigration experience. I too feel that there is an existential element. This is aside from the obvious difficulties of the admin. I think it is very hard, and impossible to explain to someone who hasn't gone through it.
I just hope that more people will ignore the fatalism of the argument that we are beyond repair. We are not beyond repair. We are never beyond repair. - AOC


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Re: Trauma from the Immigration System - Shattered Sense of Self-Worth
« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2018, 04:33:41 PM »
Thanks everyone.

I did try and give the Samaritans a ring a fair few times last night. Unfortunately, they didn't answer and the meassage said everyone was busy and to try again. I do attend counselling on a weekly basis to discuss this, but it's difficult because sometimes the woman just suggests that I return to the states where I would have more freedoms and not feel so trapped. But thats kind of a non-starter. I'm going to make this work or I die trying to make it work.

I am on the slow path to ILR, but I've only got a three year visa at the inexperienced pay rate, and I'm not optimistic that I will be able to increase my wages by 10,000 GBP in two years... So I'm likely going home in a year and a half unless I have or adopt a child, or get married.
OR I can keep trying to get a new job... My employer is kind of mean. My manager even once threatened not to try and renew my visa when it comes up for renewal. Everyone not trapped by their visa leaves because it's such a toxic environment to work in. Not one of my same-level colleagues that were here when I got this job, are still in the position. The turnover is ridiculous.

My partner sees that I am suffering and blames himself and it often seems like the logical thing to do would be to humanely euthanize this relationship and entire endeavour because everything is so stupidly hard.

It makes me want to just commit fraud and trade my identity and documents to a similar person who wants to live in America. Or just walk into the woods and get on with living my life away from the constant scrutiny of the government and authority. Why is there no option to withdraw from the social contract?

I really feel like there is no one with enough expertise and empathy to speak to about this to on a proper level

My counselor doesn't fully understand, I've been blown off by lawyers, and my family and friends are like "it will work out in the end" (they don't know that - they've never faced a resident labour market test).

I've considered going to citizens advice, but I think that the sort of advice they dish up is more superficial. And I don't need to be directed towards the gov.uk website... I know where to find it.

I need a solution and there has to be one if I put in enough blood, sweat and tears. But maybe there isn't one and I'm playing the part of a fool. Either way I'm going down with this ship. Either it will work out and I will receive permission to continue to exist and follow my dreams or I'll die trying. There's no "going back" unless I'm dead. I won't let the system win.

Kindest regards,

Ashley L. Mikkola
It sounds like your current company is using your position as an immigrant in quite an abusive way :( And also that your counselor doesn't understand its not so simple to change your circumstances. Don't give up though. With brexit there may be more shortages than anticipated and I tend to believe hard work does pay off with a little bit of luck. You are obviously talented or you wouldn't be here at all! It's just the matter or working around and with the layers of bureaucracy. Keep your head up, and if you ever need a vent you know we are here to listen!


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