*Hugs* txfotochik. Thanks for the well wishes. Most of that blog is from our earlier years together talking about the situation living with his dad. It took me awhile to figure out how messed up all of it was. He was very manipulative and always had a poor me attitude. If only this person or this situation didn't get in his way he could x,y and z. I always pitied him and I was mad everyone caused him problems, but the problems were his and he could have always solved them. At the end of 2017 I got an inheritance from my mother and told him we were done and I was leaving to go back to the US. Immediately he turned around and had an epiphany of why he behaved like he did for so many years and was nice to me for about three months and I decided to file for a visa for him to come to the US. Well, it was all a sham of course, he never really wanted to change (I was stupid to believe that, but you know when you're psychologically abused you hold out hope for any scraps of humanity) and I was used to come over.
I found out a lot of things like I"m pretty sure he has borderline personality disorder. and probably narcissistic like his dad too, he has addictions. I've run the gamut trying to help him get help, on medication in support groups but he doesn't want to change. I'm convinced he literally does not have a conscience. I also think he views women in particular as subhuman.
I also found out via accessing our bank which I did not have access to for 7 years of our marriage that when I had to go to an EDS specialist he made up that we couldn't afford it and couldn't afford the MRI privately, so he made me wait 9 extra months while bedbound (after my health was already in deterioration since 2012) to "save" the money to go to keep me bedbound and dependent on him. He literally spent the money on video games, eating out while he was working, gifts for people, and I have no idea what else. He took hundreds of pounds out of the ATM a month with no trace of where it went.
There was also a situation surrounding his mother's death where he is at fault. I filed for divorce four days ago. We've been living separate for months and I found out so much about our past. I was able to step back from the situation and actually see the lies, he lies about every little thing even if it doesn't matter. I'm putting together a new blog of a lot of the horrors I kept out of the original and our life after 2016/17 I hope it helps others to read about how smooth these men are, how they mold and train you and warp your sense of reality.
Today he comes and gets his things. He has agreed on alimony and for me to keep the furniture although he doesn't have a job and refuses to work in the US because "people will be mean to him" although he spends 8-12 hours daily with his unemployed friends playing board games. He went through almost $120K of an inheritance he got in almost 2 years. There is so much to say. My friends tell me to get an Order of Protection, I can't say specifics now but because he went in the middle of the night to break in somewhere to harm someone in the UK but reconsidered.
This has... become madness. I have to research the legality of this blog I'm making because it contains emails, texts, photos of bank statements etc. (with identifying info blacked out)
For now he's playing nice but we'll see, he knows I have a lot of information on him that could cause him trouble. He has no remorse about how he treated me and the only focus he has right now is trying to get documents to get the conditionals released from his visa so he can stay here permanently.
