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Topic: Greetings from the UK  (Read 188 times)

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  • Met in 1994, met face to face in 2020
    • Riven Calyx
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  • Joined: Oct 2020
  • Location: Surrey
Greetings from the UK
« on: October 15, 2020, 12:09:24 PM »
My/ our story in a nutshell

Met my now fiance' through regular handwritten letters (via sending for a Christian penpal list) in 1994.
I was in a troubled marriage at the time and I wanted to know if it was possible to be friends with the opposite sex.  (my grandfather molested me, my dad and brother died, I had no close male friends and my husband was narcissistic)
 Mark and I wrote and encouraged each other for years beginning in 1994. Neither of us sent photos (unbeknownst to the other, we each secretly wanted it that way for a time) and we were very formal and strictly platonic.
 In 1998, I suggested we exchange photos and cassette tapes (if you don't know what a cassette tape is, ask an older person - ha ha)
 Though we already felt close, we saw each other in a completely new light after the photos and tapes. It did not take long for each of us to proclaim the other as their best friend. This eventually led to desiring more.
 We both got email (internet for the first time) at Christmas 1998 and we began emailing instead of letters.
Long story short, I kept telling him that we could only be friends because I was married.
We spent months at a time not writing because of this.
My marriage was awful but we both felt that divorce was wrong (at the time) and especially if it was only for the reason of marrying each other.
 Well, my beliefs have changed since then and I filed for divorce this year and it was finalized a day before his birthday. (It should have been 2 months earlier but they needed to redo it due to a clerical error)
 In the meantime, I came to visit on a regular passport, and we met face to face for the first time.
When he picked me up at London Heathrow in July this year, it was as if we'd met before and had always been together - everything was so natural and relaxed and I even talked to one of his friends (via his cellphone/ er, I mean mobile...) who I knew next to nothing about, minutes after getting in the car. The friend was telling me all the things to have Mark do for me etc. To this day he and I are buddies (communicate thru phone, email, messenger and text and frequently have him over for Sunday roast) and one of the neighbors here, Debs is also now my unofficial "bestie". lol
Mark's pastor has begun to counsel us on marriage (Mark has never been married) and when we told him about the visa and biometrics etc he said "why don't you just get married and forget about all that visa stuff?" or something to that affect. Made us laugh.
 I don't want to be booted out of the country for good. But, needless to say, he plans on marrying us...
Kathryn


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Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2020, 04:58:09 PM »
My/ our story in a nutshell

Met my now fiance' through regular handwritten letters (via sending for a Christian penpal list) in 1994.
I was in a troubled marriage at the time and I wanted to know if it was possible to be friends with the opposite sex.  (my grandfather molested me, my dad and brother died, I had no close male friends and my husband was narcissistic)
 Mark and I wrote and encouraged each other for years beginning in 1994. Neither of us sent photos (unbeknownst to the other, we each secretly wanted it that way for a time) and we were very formal and strictly platonic.
 In 1998, I suggested we exchange photos and cassette tapes (if you don't know what a cassette tape is, ask an older person - ha ha)
 Though we already felt close, we saw each other in a completely new light after the photos and tapes. It did not take long for each of us to proclaim the other as their best friend. This eventually led to desiring more.
 We both got email (internet for the first time) at Christmas 1998 and we began emailing instead of letters.
Long story short, I kept telling him that we could only be friends because I was married.
We spent months at a time not writing because of this.
My marriage was awful but we both felt that divorce was wrong (at the time) and especially if it was only for the reason of marrying each other.
 Well, my beliefs have changed since then and I filed for divorce this year and it was finalized a day before his birthday. (It should have been 2 months earlier but they needed to redo it due to a clerical error)
 In the meantime, I came to visit on a regular passport, and we met face to face for the first time.
When he picked me up at London Heathrow in July this year, it was as if we'd met before and had always been together - everything was so natural and relaxed and I even talked to one of his friends (via his cellphone/ er, I mean mobile...) who I knew next to nothing about, minutes after getting in the car. The friend was telling me all the things to have Mark do for me etc. To this day he and I are buddies (communicate thru phone, email, messenger and text and frequently have him over for Sunday roast) and one of the neighbors here, Debs is also now my unofficial "bestie". lol
Mark's pastor has begun to counsel us on marriage (Mark has never been married) and when we told him about the visa and biometrics etc he said "why don't you just get married and forget about all that visa stuff?" or something to that affect. Made us laugh.
 I don't want to be booted out of the country for good. But, needless to say, he plans on marrying us...
Kathryn

Welcome to the forum!   :)

March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.


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  • Posts: 48

  • Met in 1994, met face to face in 2020
    • Riven Calyx
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  • Joined: Oct 2020
  • Location: Surrey
Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2020, 05:42:25 PM »
Thank you
 I am currently perusing and taking notes!   ;D


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Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2020, 06:13:48 PM »
Thank you
 I am currently perusing and taking notes!   ;D

Feel free to ask your visa questions here.  https://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?board=17.0


March 28th 2013-Moved to UK, husband on spouse visa.Oct 20th 2015-Applied by mail for FLR(M).Feb 1st 2016 FLR(M).March 7th 2018 ILR. YAY! March 21st NCS&JCAP appointment.


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Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2020, 06:55:12 PM »
Welcome!  Unfortunately you will have to return to the USA to apply for your visa. But sounds like you guys are well seasoned with distance. Happy future planning!


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  • Posts: 48

  • Met in 1994, met face to face in 2020
    • Riven Calyx
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  • Joined: Oct 2020
  • Location: Surrey
Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2020, 06:58:37 PM »
Yes, we are definitely well seasoned with distance. lol
Yes, I can see now that I need to return first. I have been wanting to visit my mom in Washington state anyway so that will be nice.
Thanks for the welcomes and direction. :-)


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Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2020, 09:57:25 AM »
Welcome to UKY!  :) 


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  • Posts: 48

  • Met in 1994, met face to face in 2020
    • Riven Calyx
  • Liked: 0
  • Joined: Oct 2020
  • Location: Surrey
Re: Greetings from the UK
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2020, 12:28:33 PM »
Thank you. I can see myself spending time here. . .  :)


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