Who is getting married in 2011?

I'll be getting married at Gretna Green in April! We've booked it yesterday, and just waiting now to confirm the date that we requested. We thought April was a good time, since his family will have time off of work for the Easter hols so they can attend, and it'll give us enough time for me to apply for FLR before my fiancee visa expires in mid-June.

I'm getting married February 14th! (I know, disgustingly mushy! But secretly I love that my fiancee picked that date!)

We aren't doing a big wedding though, (I've already been there and done that! Ugh! Can't do it again!) we are just grabbing some of our closest friends and going to the court house to have it done then taking our group to a nice meal after!

I feel awful and guilty that my family in the U.S. can't participate in this, but like I said, I've done the wedding thing before and we can celebrate when I go back to visit. My parents have been fantastic about it!

My mom has told me that by not wanting to have my wedding in MD I am basically saying that I don't care if my family comes or not.  I'd like to have the wedding in NY.  She then went on a rant about how you can't get a hotel room in NY for under $300 and that after the reception they would be spending the night in the train station as the hotel would be too expensive. 

My usually wonderful df, while supportive, isn't quite understanding how much this is bothering me.  He won't email venues or hotels and is upset that I've asked him to go and look at a venue by himself this week when I'm at work. 

I just want to cry.  I have a cold sore that I can't shake because I'm so stressed, I just want to hide all the time.  I can't make everyone happy.  I really don't want a wedding at all now.  I think that I need to tell him and my mom that the only way I can keep my sanity is for us to go to city hall with no one's family and then my mom can plan a party in MD, no Brits, just the two of us but she can have whatever she wants and then we can do the same in the UK. 

On top of that I hate my job so much that I usually just always want to cry and have dreams of banging my head into the computer until it breaks.  I just can't do this horrible job (about 70 hours a week), plan a wedding all by myself, find hotel rooms for 20+ people, deal with my Mom, prepare to move all of my stuff to the UK and get the documents for my visa prepared.  I've been engaged for a week and I want to give up!

That is an awful lot to have to deal with.  How do you actually feel about the city hall marriage and two parties? If you want the "big day" you can take some time and plan out a blessing and reception in the UK. Am I correct in thinking that your DF is in the UK and the venues he's looking at are here?

Could you tell your mother you're going to do it her way, get everyone's emails, and then change your mind again? I know we're never supposed to lie but when dealing with crazy I place a premium on maintaining my own sanity. Are any of your relatives on FB? I'm just trying to think of ways to get around your mother so she doesn't ruin what should be a special day for you and your DF.

Is there any chance that she's acting out because she's scared of losing you to the UK? You mentioned she was a control freak with your sister's wedding so I'm guessing it isn't (or at least not the kind of fear you could alleviate, but wouldn't it be nice if it was).

I'm really sorry you have to deal with wedding stress, moving stress, a less than idealy supportive DF, a job you hate, and family drama. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Oh, Sscarlet, trust me, there is NO WAY to make everyone happy when a wedding is involved.  Do what you need to do--and then only make compromises that you are comfortable with. If you want to have it in New York, could you do it earlier in the day, so all of those relatives your mother is convinced would rather sleep in the train station can just take a train home?  In the end, this is about you and your DF, not whatever your mother's image of a perfect wedding is, so if you can, plan what YOU think is appropriate, I'm sure your relatives will understand.  
Have you checked out indiebride.com? They have an AMAZING set of resources about wedding planning and a great "kvetch" section for support and are just a great place to be. I think there's a huge tendency for mothers to invest a lot of their ego into weddings, as if it was actually a reflection on THEM, and it's not, so much, but it can be hard to walk that line.
(My mother went bonkers around my wedding as well.  It's unpleasant, but it's a reflection on HER not YOU.)

 Thanks everyone.  DF is going to look at a place in Queens that would cut out driving in Manhattan and add a lot of additional cheaper hotel options.  Plus, it would be a day time wedding so people could choose to go home after wards.  The place is about 4 hours from where my parents live.  The venue overlooks the Manhattan skyline.   Also, it has a much longer open bar!

My mom is being a bit easier, but still thinks that it is rude of me to invite people she doesn’t feel will come, that it is just greedy.  I told her that we might not even register because everyone was traveling and we didn’t want anything else.  She didn’t like that idea either.  She has also decided that my DF doesn’t know me well enough and told me that by including him on the email I sent my sister to ask if she would do the reading showed that I’m ‘putting on an act’.  How I’ve managed this act for two years now and about a dozen visits is beyond me.  I think it’s also bothering her that I had initially said that I wanted to have the wedding in some place historical and now I’d prefer a view.  This makes her think that I’m going with only what DF wants.  I truly love the idea of the skyline being in the background.

My plan is to book the venue but try and keep my mom involved with what we are looking at.  As soon as its booked I’m going to book a train ticket for her to come to NYC for the day to help me pick out a dress and look at flowers and all that girly stuff.  Maybe that will convince her that I want her to be involved.  Plus, I’ve sent her a web cam so we can plan via skype. 

We're trying to plan for April 30th, but if you look at my signature it's obvious that the first step would be to get there in the first place.  I'm nearly there.  I'm so close I can smell the Scottish Heather and taste the Haggis from here!  So our date might change, but our plans, hopes and dreams wont.  I'll be home soon.  We are MOST CERTAINLY getting married in 2011 though.   

Just an update - our wedding was perfect.  We had a small ceremony at the registry office and then went to a pub.  We were also able to broadcast on ustream from my friend's netbook. My entire family was able to watch me walk down the aisle, and they were all able to see my DH start crying with happiness when I walked in the room.

All of the stress and worry was totally worth it.  It was the happiest day of my life!
Good luck to all you other brides out there

Just an update - our wedding was perfect.  We had a small ceremony at the registry office and then went to a pub.  We were also able to broadcast on ustream from my friend's netbook. My entire family was able to watch me walk down the aisle, and they were all able to see my DH start crying with happiness when I walked in the room.

All of the stress and worry was totally worth it.  It was the happiest day of my life!
Good luck to all you other brides out there

That's wonderful! HUGE congrats!

Just an update - our wedding was perfect.  We had a small ceremony at the registry office and then went to a pub.  We were also able to broadcast on ustream from my friend's netbook. My entire family was able to watch me walk down the aisle, and they were all able to see my DH start crying with happiness when I walked in the room.

All of the stress and worry was totally worth it.  It was the happiest day of my life!
Good luck to all you other brides out there

Congrats! I love it! ustream was a godsend for us as well ;-)

Just an update - our wedding was perfect.  We had a small ceremony at the registry office and then went to a pub.  We were also able to broadcast on ustream from my friend's netbook. My entire family was able to watch me walk down the aisle, and they were all able to see my DH start crying with happiness when I walked in the room.

All of the stress and worry was totally worth it.  It was the happiest day of my life!
Good luck to all you other brides out there

Yay! Glad it turned out so wonderful

My DF and I picked a date (late June) and a venue - Atholl Palace Hotel. Looks like two UKY-ers are getting married there this year.

It's obviously where all the cool kids get hitched! 

well, it looks like we are postponing our wedding until April or May.    I decided not to leave until early to mid March (visa pending) since my cats can't come until March 7th and my mum isn't being very flexible about bringing them over when she flies over for the wedding.  I guess it will be better since I can work longer and save more money, and so can my fiancee. 

Good news though: a friend of the family has offered us their condo for our honeymoon.   ;DIt's in Mijas, Spain!!! Holy crap! We are planning to stay there and go to Morocco for 3-4 days. I have always wanted to go to Morocco so this is a dream come true for me!  Finances are tight, so saving so much on accommodations will allow us to stay longer, and go somewhere nice for our honeymoon!! 

This distance is killing us though lately...


i miss my fiancee so badly 

Distance is hard. My DF and I decided to get married this summer, on too short of notice for a lot of my family to come over for the wedding, rather than be separated again    Hope your fly-out date comes quickly!

Good news though: a friend of the family has offered us their condo for our honeymoon.   ;DIt's in Mijas, Spain!!! Holy crap! We are planning to stay there and go to Morocco for 3-4 days. I have always wanted to go to Morocco so this is a dream come true for me!  Finances are tight, so saving so much on accommodations will allow us to stay longer, and go somewhere nice for our honeymoon!! 

Just make sure that you get your flr(m) before departing the UK for the honeymoon!  You won't be able to reenter the UK on your fiance visa as you won't be a fiance anymore, you'll be a spouse!

We booked the Marina Park in Liberty State Park today for August 27.  The view of the NYC skyline is breathtaking!