so soon?

For pittpanther...another word to the wise (from a fellow Leeds resident) -- GET OUT & enjoy this warm sunny weather while we have it!  Not sure how Steve's flat is situated, but is there a garden, yard, patio, balcony, etc?  Take a book, use sunblock.  If nothing else, go out along the canal.  The weather here is fickle, unpredictable, and frequently crap -- so take advantage of this time to grab the sunshine while it's here!

Just wanted to echo what everyone has said in the hopes that you will cut yourself some major slack, pittpanther! Ohhh my first months here were grim. I cried ALL the time and felt it really difficult to settle in...but it did come. It's part of the process for some of us, I think.

Hoping you're having a better day today!
XJen

Hoping you're having a better day today!
XJen

sometimes  it is just about one day at a time.. one  crisis at a time..  sigh**.. you'll be OK though.. I agree about enjoying the sun..  My hardest time was when  I went BACK to the states  for the holidays and came back in January to  the Dark..and  cold.. Rough Rough time..  but it has gotten much better since..  how are you doing ?

I was upset last night and admitted to my brit bf how sad and scared I really was. I was trying my hardest to not smother him or bombard him with my feelings and that didn't work in the end. I have my first driving lesson today and I plan to take the bus (again, did it once now!) to the gym. Part of it too (after speaking to Carolyn) is that I have never lived w/ someone before like a significant other.

Thank you all so much - this board is keeping me sane

Part of it too (after speaking to Carolyn) is that I have never lived w/ someone before like a significant other.

That's a good revelation, Andrea.... I never had either - I went from living alone in a cozy little studio for 10 years to, paraphrasing Monica from Friends, having to live with a BOY! In some ways that was as tough for me as the move itself and even though I'm settled in now, I have days when I miss just taking care of myself and not having to worry about someone else.... I think moving over here AND moving in with a SO is a massive dose of "growing up" no matter what ones age! 

His experiences as well contribute. I'm seeing other sides just as he is and it's quite the adjustment.   

Aww well I am glad to hear you are getting out there on your own, sounds like a good start to getting comfortable in your new surroundings. It's also good you let your bf know how you are feeling right now, I am sure he is going through some changes as well, although obviously not as substantial as you. Are you able to spend more time together over the weekend?

Andrea -- It'll be a lot of adjusting all 'round, I imagine.  For you -- well you've left your job (at least temporarily) & your apartment & independent life in greater DC area...you're going back to univ...you're living with a boy(!) now...plus a foreign country too!  That's a lot of change in a short span of time.  And I'll never understand men, but I'm sure your Steve has adjustments to make too -- at least I can imagine some things anyways.  So just give yourselves time & space, be good to yourself, keep busy -- it'll get better.  We'll get you sorted in the city & find your way over to my house...we can have some nice long natters, bake cookies, whatever will make you feel better.

Oh also -- on coping strategies...maybe think about how it was when you moved from univ (Pittsburgh) to work in DC?  How did you manage & deal with that change?  Was it similar? Different?  I don't know -- just another idea I had.

I remember the first week I moved here... I arrived at H'row with 4 suitcases, a duffle bag, and a bike in a box. I could barely manage to get to a taxi stand and when i did, I had the surliest, nastiest driver. he was mad at me b/c I was going to a H'row area hotel and not the centre of London. Apparently there are buses for those hotels but I didn't know it. Though I tipped him well, he left me in the rain with all my luggage a good 10 feet from the sheltered entrace. I had to stay at the hotel that night, get the hotel BUS  back to H'row, take the H'row Express to Paddington, then take a train to Reading. Once to Reading I had to get another taxi. This driver was nice. He drove me to the Uni Hall I was to live at. But of course  I arrived when the office was shut so he had to leave me with all my crap waiting outside. At least it wasn't raining! Once I got my key, I then had to schlep all my stuff up 2 flights of stairs to my barren little room. I was also dismayed to discover that hardly any one else was there yet so I was on my own, more or less, for a whole week. I was SO freaked out! And I had no phone!

But here's the funny thing. I had managed all that transport, with all that luggage but was still afraid of the bus. So my SECOND day there, I walked to the train station and went to London for the day - including using the tube. I then took a taxi back to the Hall. I didn't get on a bus until I was with other people!!

So, don't be so hard on yourself! It will all work out!

i'm moving to birmingham in may, after our wedding.

i'm thinking one of the first things we'll do is adopt a dog, because i'll go barmy if i have to stay alone at first. plus, that way, there'll be someone else who's adjusting to a new home along with me.