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Topic: The deciding factor...  (Read 4799 times)

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Re: The deciding factor...
« Reply #30 on: May 27, 2004, 11:06:28 PM »
I don't have a big family in the states and one day it occured to me to ask my husband where he would life if I were to die.  I know it sounds morbid but because we didn't have a close family or friend circle in the states I just wondered what he would do.  When he said he would probably move to the UK I told him that if I was the primary reason for staying in the states then we should try the UK and see what it is like.  I didn't want to look back in years to come and say I wonder or what if. 

So we are giving it the college try and figure if things don't work out we could always move back but personally I don't see us moving back unless something happens to my in-laws because my hubby feels very responsible for them. 

Kathy
"Life isn't the party we expected, but while we're here we might as well dance"


Re: The deciding factor...
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2004, 08:09:32 AM »
Definitely permanent.
Came here in 1985 and have spent the majority of my adult life here, so i truly feel that this is my home, rather than where I grew up in California.  My parents and my sister dont even live in California anymore, so there's nothing to draw me back there.  To be honest, I was always the 'black sheep' and never really got on with my family that well anyway. 
So I dont feel that I've lost anything, or 'given up' anything.

This is home.


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Re: The deciding factor...
« Reply #32 on: June 15, 2004, 01:49:50 AM »
Hi there, I found this discussion interesting - I'm in the process of deciding. I posted on the welcome wagon and all posts back have been positive so far - I've been offered a social work job in Sutton. I currently live in upstate New York. Lots of factors are combining to make me want a change in my life (middle age, empty nest, desire for adventure, love of travel,  genuine dislike of WINTER in NY, the list could go on).   To leave my comfortable secure tenured job is a risk but I feel ready for it....some worries of course - selling my little house that I've filled with mosiacs, worry about how to return to the US in a few years, can I afford to life in the UK on a social work salary - lots of questions. I appreciate a chance to vent here....Glad I found your group - so far lots of great info. I will decide within the month! (I anticipate the relief that will follow!)

Lorraine 


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Re: The deciding factor...
« Reply #33 on: June 15, 2004, 02:20:59 AM »
Originally when Mart and I got together it was far easier for me to move to England. I was fresh out of High School with a basic J.O.B. and I wasnt in college because Id been planning to go to school in the UK anyway. Besides, Mart had a steady job and a car, which is more than what I had. It seemed the natural choice. I WANTED to go to England and Ive really enjoyed my time here.

But, as many of you know, three years down the line and here we are: living in England, happily married, lovely house, loads  of debt, no family in the UK to speak of, lots of hopes and dreams, but no opportunities. So the decision to move back to the US was easy. Martin wanted a change of pace and a chance at striking the perfect balance between work and family.  I wanted to be closer to my family. My grandparents raised me from the day I was brought into this crazy world til the day I left for England and now that theyre getting on a bit, I want to return the care the gave to me. As horrible as it sounds, we all know the fear of getting "that phone call" someday only to find out that your closest family has passed away and you never got to say good bye because you couldnt be there. I just cant bear the thought of that happening, and knowing that made it extra easy for Martin to make that leap of faith for me.

We're also looking to the future and trying to plan a life for our (someday) kids. Martin doesnt have any family in the UK anymore, aside from his step sister and closest friends. The advantage of the states would be living closer to my mom and step-dad so that our kids could actually have grandparents. And what a help grandparents are!! If we raised a child in the UK we would be seriously all alone. Doing something as simple as going out to see a movie would be impossible. So moving closer to mom is the perfect solution.

To be frank, debt is another huge reason we're moving. By selling our house we'll clear our debt and have a nice pocket full of cash to go to the states with. If we sold and cleared the debt only to stay in the UK, we'd have to move into a far smaller house and continue to suffer the high cost of living. Honestly? I want my cheap petrol, my Taco Bell on every corner, and my Target open til 10 pm every night of the week. Its hard to struggle on here in the UK knowing full well what we could have in the US, and a family to boot.

So those are our reasons for both! Two for the price of one. You lucky folks you :)
Btw, Ive really enjoyed reading this thread! Thanks to everyone who posted. Your reasons have all been very interesting indeed.

Sarah
Me (US/UK), DH (UK/US), DD (US/UK)
US > UK (2001, 3 years) > US (2004, 16 years) > UK (coming soon)

Specialist in UK > US Immigration via Direct Consular Filing (DCF), Founder of Dive Into America (2003-2020)


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Re: The deciding factor...
« Reply #34 on: June 15, 2004, 02:49:30 AM »
I don't know how it happened but sometime in the first 7 years we just *knew* the UK was our home. A few years later when it looked like we wouldn't be able to extend our overseas assignements anymore we just knew it was time to get on with our lives, leave the Air Force and  start on our future. Neither of us ever considered for a minute going back to the states.   We both have a lot of family in the states (I have 7 brothers and sisters alone!) and that was the only consideration, which as close as we are to them, was dismissed very quickly. Our families were rather devestated but they have come to accept our decision- or at least talk about how we should move back to the states less! LOL  Frankly, you couldn't pay me enough money to move back to the states. After the kids are in university we might consider moving to another European country, but honestly I can't imagine anywhere we'd want to be more than the UK.

Rosie
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers. ~François Fénelon


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