We are the SUPER-EXPATS!

I'm one of those people who really does need friends to socialise with and do things with - but I haven't had any problems making friends. I moved to Wales first, but I don't count that because I had a lot of relatives there, so a ready-made built-in network of people. But then I moved down to Cornwall a few years ago and the first year was tough (in terms of finding friends, not in terms of settling in). However, by year two I had a zillion friends and now I feel like I can't go anywhere without seeing someone I know. I like that! 

 And, although I realise that the thread title is meant to be light-hearted, I think we need to be careful about the implication that the folks who have an easier adjustment are somehow better than folks who struggle.

Not sure the implication is inherent. I've never thought of myself as better than anyone else, just different. And my situation could change at any point. You cannot predict when homesickness or other issues might strike.

I think it is part temperament, i.e flexibility, open-mindedness, sense of humour combined with either or both of:

a) good level of resources: social, economic otherwise
b) less restrictive expectations of how things should be  

The key, for me, has been to appreciate the good things and general curiousness. The ability to amuse oneself and be resourceful and not shy about needing help, when and if you do, also helps! I also think doing things to develop your interests and be part of your new community also can give new horizons in new places.

I have had both difficult patches of being abroad (living in mainland Europe in a place where I had bad work / life balance in bad quality accommodation was never going to be happy, no matter where in the world I was living!) and loving and adopting where we are now (good work / life balance, love where we live, have good balance of urban and nature, cost of living is not insane, nice balance of diverse and lovely friends).

So, to me, it is a combination on personal / internal resources and structural / external circumstances that either come together in some kinda divine, expat kinda way and when the structural or external stuff gets you down, getting on with it and knowing that it will pass and it is not forever. So maybe it's about being realistic?  
  

I've never thought of myself as better than anyone else....And my situation could change at any point. You cannot predict when homesickness or other issues might strike.

This. Totally this.

I think it's just about dealing with change and accepting life's ups and downs and that sometimes, you won't feel accepting or OK. That's OK, too! 

That's just life and nothing to do specifically with an expat / repat / pat / whatever! 

You cannot predict when homesickness or other issues might strike.

100% agree.  I have always loved it here and felt settled straight away,  but believe me ,when I was in a ton of pain and sick for months and then in hospital, it was really hard going being far away from my family and make you question decisions, etc.   After I made my way through the worst of it, I was able to get back into my hobbies and life was better again.  

I also battle depression (not related to a homesickness thing, but clinical depression) and sometimes the horribly dreay weather or other stupid thing like Tesco re-arranging everything again can set it off, and that can be really taxing.  

when I was in a ton of pain and sick for months and then in hospital, it was really hard going being far away from my family

I was very, very ill (&$*&%^£!" kidneys, even then) and nearly had to be hospitalised when I first arrived. I knew no one, except my friend in my bedsit, who I knew from Canada.  I hate hospitals internationally and equally.  I felt pretty scared and isolated. Extra stress, I think would set anyone off, regardless of being an expat.     

Thank you for thinking of me, racheeeee, I am touched & it brings a tear to my little pig eye. 

I still can't believe after all this time that I haven't met you in person yet (I've met Lindy!).  We must remedy this, so that I can bask in your Super Expat glory.  Maybe sometime in late summer?  Cos I'm kinda busy until then - except you'll probably be headed for the US during school holidays won't you?

I am heading to NY for August, you are telling me you are busy every single weekend between now and August? Lindy and I could probably come to you, not even for lunch? You do eat right?

I am heading to NY for August, you are telling me you are busy every single weekend between now and August? Lindy and I could probably come to you, not even for lunch? You do eat right?

Heee - no I don't eat at all.  You have seen my photo - how skinny I am.  I'm definitely not available until June - I'll get in touch with you on FB & we can arrange something maybe in June?  (after the Jubilee bank holiday weekend)

I've never thought of myself as better than anyone else, just different. And my situation could change at any point. You cannot predict when homesickness or other issues might strike.

I agree. I had quite a hard time adjusting when I first moved here but I put a lot of that down to how young I was (and very green) and moving away from a very close tight knit family to live with my new husband who is a bit affection handicapped.

Then things were great and I was finally enjoying myself. Got a good job that I liked and started to feel comfortable. When the girls were born, however, I've found living in the UK  a bit harder. My problem is that I'm happy here, I just want my family with me and it's hard to watch my girls grow up without my family. Plus Jon has made it clear he'd never move to the US. This was always an option before but he's cut that off and whilst I don't want to move to the US, knowing that it's no longer an option makes me feel trapped.

But this too shall pass, I suspect. England is home now and I'm settled but I do wish I could have my family close by.

Well, living here over 18 months (and I have now been here longer than 5 1/2 years) makes it the longest I have lived any where since I went to undergrad in 1994.

I'm really promoting New Zealand, or Hong Kong.  I'd like to go to Canada, but the visas are so much harder to get now.  BAH!  Maybe Sweden, or somewhere Nordic. Hmmmm.