I am more than my nationality

True.
But the point is that it must have all 3 main factors to be considered "Bullying."

Teasing can hurt someones feelings, sure.

Example: One person, even a primary person in someones life, saying, "You are ugly' does not have the same lasting effects on a person as it does for someone hearing those things every day for five years... (But it still sucks!)

Bullying is about patterns, and intensity, and prolonged exposure.

Hurt feelings are not the same thing - and, yes, hurt feelings can also have lasting effects on a person, but hurt feelings, based on one incident, or even three for that matter, are not scientifically considered 'the same' as psychological and emotional harm due to long term abuse.

Teasing is different than bullying.

Lara, I think you and I will just have to agree to disagree on the definitions of teasing versus bullying.

Well, the definition is the definition... but we can agree that you have a different personal opinion of what bullying is - an opinion that is different than what the actual psychological definition of bullying states.

Which is fine!

Well, the definition is the definition... but we can agree that you have a different personal opinion of what bullying is - an opinion that is different than what the actual psychological definition of bullying states.

Which is fine!

Definitions of bullying can vary and can be as simple as "intentional aggressive behavior" which teasing can certainly fall under. Slicesmissus bowed out of this argument gracefully and you had to follow up with the equivalent of - well you can disagree but I am right.   In fact your definition isn't the ultimate authority.

This ties back to what I was trying to get to with the "just ignore it" advice.

person A says things that hurt person B's feelings.

Scenario one: Person B ignores it and it keeps happening. Is person A a bully or just oblivious? Is person B failing to give the correct signals? No one knows.

Scenario two: person B says "it hurts my feelings when you say/do that. Please stop." person A either respects person B's boundaries and (at least makes an effort to) treats person B the way they have asked to be treated, behaving like a decent person. Alternatively Person A ignores person B's request, continues the abusive behaviour, and is acting like a bully.

Teasing is different than bullying.

The difference between the two is usually seen by the person doing the teasing or the  bullying rather than by the person on the receiving end. So, it's not as simple as saying that teasing is one thing and bullying is another.

(Moderator hat on)-- I think it is clear that the topic of what bullying in is an interesting and emotional topic. I personally have strong opinions on it myself. I think this thread has gone a bit off track focussing on this one issue. Pettifog is a section of this board that is way under used in my opinion and is designed for sensitive debates such as bullying. My suggestion is that any continuation of definition of bullying debate be started as a new topic on that board and we allow this thread to go back to the original debate of how annoying it can be at times for people to only see our americanism instead of us as a whole person

I'm sorry if I geeked out on my lame definition!

I didn't mean any harm, and SlicesMissus and I have totally been having a really good chat in pm about psychology!

I am in geeky research mode, for a project, and it is all about 'what qualifies as fact and what qualifies as an opinion' (for a job, not for fun!) and I presently have the social skills of a tree frog!

Sorry.

What I am finding odd and almost unsettling is being back to just being 'me'. After a few years of hearing all the 'you Yanks', 'all Americans ____' 'OH! You're American', on and on, etc, for a few years, and mostly wishing it away because I just wanted to be ME, it feels odd to not have it.

I'm not complaining, or feeling like something has been taken from me. That isn't it at all. It is just another factor of moving back home, I suppose, but after hearing it for so long it seems odd to not hear it. 

Now we are back to the days of people noticing that hubby is British. 

I'm in London and I can't say this really happens to me at all. Maybe when I first met people (though it never bothered me), but now no one says much about it at all. If they do I just don't notice it or take any offense to it.

Perhaps being in London, people are more used to hearing accents from other countries, because it is a hot tourist destination, unlike somewhere smaller. It is the same in the States, NYC, LA, Vegas, etc are hot tourist destinations so someone 'foreign' wouldn't stand out as much as they would in a smaller town that doesn't see many - or any - tourists.

We were in Blackburn and I got the 'oh, you're American' thing all the time, but when we were visiting London I spoke to quite a lot of people and not one seemed to think a thing about me being American. I took it to be because they have so many Americans there to see the sights that one more American accent is not a new thing to them.

Perhaps being in London, people are more used to hearing accents from other countries, because it is a hot tourist destination, unlike somewhere smaller. It is the same in the States, NYC, LA, Vegas, etc are hot tourist destinations so someone 'foreign' wouldn't stand out as much as they would in a smaller town that doesn't see many - or any - tourists.

We were in Blackburn and I got the 'oh, you're American' thing all the time, but when we were visiting London I spoke to quite a lot of people and not one seemed to think a thing about me being American. I took it to be because they have so many Americans there to see the sights that one more American accent is not a new thing to them.

It's the same over here in little Stoke-on-Trent area. I get comments almost daily since I moved here in January 2011.

The Receptionist ( looks like a blonde Sue Ellen) at the Comfort Inn Tulsa... gives a truly teeth grating impression of a British accent... She sounds like a drunk Rolf Harris having his paint brushes inserted sideways... I so wanted to tell her that but I,m too much of a Gentleman... Besides being a "novelty" guest got us an upgrade to a room with a jauzzi... which I so wanted to leave a sh*t in .. but my darling wife thought better :-).

I've accepted that this is the lot of anyone foreign.  It has its pros and cons.  The first thing people notice about you is that you're somehow different.  I travel a great deal for work and pleasure, and it's a universal behaviour.  I fully expect people to ask about my accent, even here in London, during the first conversation.  It's only human curiosity.  However, I am always delighted when that 1 in 20 person will have an entire conversation about regular topics and never bring it up.  Truly refreshing.  Consequently, I do the same to others now when I hear a not local accent.  I ignore it until I get to know them better or they volunteer the information. 

I do get annoyed though when certain colleagues or acquaintances harp on about it for years on end.  I usually sarcastically retort back that I am "personally responsible" for representing all things good and bad about the USA to shut them up.   It's really the equivalent of reminding anyone who is not in the majority group that they are different.  You wouldn't harp on about someone being black or gay or ginger...well, still unfortunately many people do this anyway, but it's tacky.  Nationality shouldn't be any different.  I'd say 99% of it is harmless though and I don't take offence, it just gets old.   But, there have been a handful of people I've run into over the years who simply hate the US and Americans and have vocalised it as such.  Oh well, it's their loss.  I have met infinitely more who truly are curious and love the US, so there are equally times I enjoy the attention.