I am more than my nationality

This is kinda mental that I'm taking out time on my birthday of all days to post on here, but.. 
Do any of you have that an English 'friend' that just will not shut up about you being American? And all things American? I mean, it's my birthday and she posts on my facebook, 'Happy birthday ya dirty yank xx' Uh,.... thanks..? It was kinda cute when I first met her that she was interested in me being from the states. But now it's just really becoming an annoyance that we can't even have a conversation without her somehow/someway bringing up the fact that I am, indeed, from America.

I get it, you don't have to tell me a bazillion times. I just want to scream at her that I am more than my freaking nationality. The little kid in me just wants to yell back at her something offensive and harsh, I haven't, but I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to take her being so rude. Why don't you try to get to know me as a person and not solely focusing on the fact I'm from a different country. UGH. You don't have to take the piss ALL the time. /End rant.

My husband is from Scotland and I can't tell you how many times he has been approached with "where are you from" or "I love your accent". Here in Tucson there aren't a lot of Scots around and he still, 16 years later, is quite a novelty. He tells them he's from Tucson and that he rents out his accent for parties, which I think is funny as hell.
Don't be subtle about it.  If she's your friend tell her straight that you are more than your nationality and you'd appreciate if she'd knock off the Yank/American thing. Either that or start calling her a "Limey" maybe she'll get the hint. 

Oh and Happy Birthday!

MandyBoo...I would not take it too seriously at all. This is kind of hard. I think more than a few of us were "obsessed" with British culture before moving over.

I would suggest either saying something like "Americans have not done that for ages" and kind of giggle at her or say something along the lines of "In America, we spank those that torment us on/around our day." If she seems to like that then say it must be distributed by whomever the birthday girl deems worthy. At that point you can make certain it is by someone she does not like. Then say "Yank Rules." It's not like she will know the difference!

MandyBoo...I would not take it too seriously at all. This is kind of hard. I think more than a few of us were "obsessed" with British culture before moving over.

I would suggest either saying something like "Americans have not done that for ages" and kind of giggle at her or say something along the lines of "In America, we spank those that torment us on/around our day." If she seems to like that then say it must be distributed by whomever the birthday girl deems worthy. At that point you can make certain it is by someone she does not like. Then say "Yank Rules." It's not like she will know the difference!

That would just make things worse I think.  Mandy wants to be MANDY, not American Mandy and playing one's own American card would surely just make her more of American Mandy.

I wish I had some advice for you Mandy, but there are just some people (I have a few of them in my life as well) who will never be able to see you as just another person. I ignore their comments, but windycitywids is right - if she is a friend rather than just an acquaintance, I would tell her it bothers you (esp if she often uses the word Yank and you find it offensive)

I know what you're talking about Mandy. I had friends there that not only always referred to my being a Yank (which didn't really bother me too much) but also they were forever giving little digs about the US. I'm talking about baseball being a game for girls called ROUNDERS, why do we all carry guns its so stupid, why did we elect GW BUSH he's such a monster, why are we all so fat, Yanks are all loud and obnoxious, american football is ladies rugby, and so on and so on. I used to go home from work or the pub and just be completely annoyed with the whole place. I told my husband...I just could never imagine a "YANK" going off on England with an Englishman. I am not my country. I am not my countries politics. I am me...and I will not give you grief for being English if you will not give it to me for being a YANK.

I've had similar experiences, and I'm not even American, I'm a Brit living in America.  It gets tiring when family and friends focus on my accent etc, after all that doesn't happen here in the US, but I can forgive it because I understand the novelty.

It's the other things that REALLY get to me.  One of my friends clearly doesn't like America and it's politics.  For some reason, she seems to think it's ok to do all these things:

I know what you're talking about Mandy. I had friends there that not only always referred to my being a Yank (which didn't really bother me too much) but also they were forever giving little digs about the US. I'm talking about baseball being a game for girls called ROUNDERS, why do we all carry guns its so stupid, why did we elect GW BUSH he's such a monster, why are we all so fat, Yanks are all loud and obnoxious, american football is ladies rugby, and so on and so on. I used to go home from work or the pub and just be completely annoyed with the whole place. I told my husband...I just could never imagine a "YANK" going off on England with an Englishman. I am not my country. I am not my countries politics. I am me...and I will not give you grief for being English if you will not give it to me for being a YANK.

How can she not realize that would be offensive to me?  After all, I live in American, and I have an American boyfriend and lots of friends there.  I've never told her how I feel about it, but I will if she brings it up again.

Last time I was home, my brother kept saying using the work "Yank" in a disparaging way in front of my boyfriend.  He wasn't saying outright offensive things, but the tone was there.  In the end I told him to stop, and he acted surprised, as though he hadn't done anything wrong.  Sometimes people really don't think.

I don't like it when I'm in the US and certain people think it's funny to go on about "Canuckistan", so I know what it feels like.

I try not to get too fussy about people going on about me being an American. But the one that does it for me is when they (well, Scottish folk) try to put on an American accent when talking to you. It is either a) a drawling southern accent or b) an astoria, queens accent. It just makes my skin crawl for some reason. This is my father-in-law's forte.

windycitywids,

Thanks very much for the advice, I might have to do that. I don't mind when someone has a go at me for being American. I just laugh it off really, but it's her -constant- comments that makes me wanna just thwack her in the throat or something. Maybe if I tell her it bothers me she'll calm it down. And thanks for the birthday wish!

MikeyMike,

I don't take it seriously, like I said it's just the fact when we talk it's always ABOUT me being American. I am pretty into the British culture, I won't deny that. But I don't constantly talk to my British friends about it, ya know what I mean? Because that gets annoying. I just want to have a conversation without being told I'm a "crazy yank" or told facts about the country that I live in. It's not that I can't take a joke, I can, honestly!

mirrajay,

Exactly my point. But, unfortunately, I think I'll probably just have to deal with it. If I do say it to her that it bothers me, I sense she's the kind of person that would kind of brush it off and just continue on with it anyways. It's just sad some people can't just see I'm a person, not only my nationality.


kbeech06,

I don't mind the yank thing really. Exactly! I got that constantly as well! Especially about the guns/people in the US being obese (uh, which they have some of their own there as well)/soccer. It's like the 'taking the piss' list for a lot of people.

Hobnob,

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. Things would just be so much easier if people just treated people like people instead of giving them grief for being a certain nationality. So rude.

Trémula & MrsH,

Agreed. :/

taking the piss

The English national sport?

I have a few people in my life that, after 2 1/2 years, still seem to only be able to talk to me about my being American. I'm not sure it if is rudeness or those people's inability to get to know people on a deeper level. With one of them, I mentioned a hobby, and she said 'Oh! I never knew you were into that!' and I reminded her that all we ever talked about was my being American, and I just happened to be able to comment to go along with what someone else in the group was saying. I just got a 'look' and the next thing we talked about was my being American here.

Part of me wonders if those people are just so star struck about Americans and America that they only want to talk about that now they have their chance. I tend to get myself involved in conversation with others when I see my problem people around. It just seems to be easier than to tie up my time with tedious conversation.

Part of me wonders if those people are just so star struck about Americans and America

I find this type of person to be extremely trying.

I try not to get too fussy about people going on about me being an American. But the one that does it for me is when they (well, Scottish folk) try to put on an American accent when talking to you. It is either a) a drawling southern accent or b) an astoria, queens accent. It just makes my skin crawl for some reason. This is my father-in-law's forte.

As an Astorian, I think it would be fantastic to hear a Scot trying on my accent.

Part of me wonders if those people are just so star struck about Americans and America that they only want to talk about that now they have their chance. I tend to get myself involved in conversation with others when I see my problem people around. It just seems to be easier than to tie up my time with tedious conversation.

Or maybe they're just trying to find a way to relate to you? And they think talking about who you are and where you're from is being inclusive rather than being annoying.

How about waiting until you two are alone and just explaining to her that rather than you being flattered that she's interested in your heritage that you find it annoying and would really like to get to know her on a more personal level and after that just change the subject to other things you have in common when she's talking about your American-ness.

As an aside I'm pretty sure this is a universal truth I've never had as many stupid questions asked of me then when I'm in the US and these are by my inlaws that have known me for over six YEARS. "Have I met the queen? Do they have chinese food in England? Does the queen get tired from sitting on her throne? Are you allowed to drink the water in England (or is it like in Mexico)? blah blah blah" I answer the best I can and then just laugh mostly.

And yes taking the piss is a national past time, I've been with my husband for six years, and I still tell him that Americanisms are "wrong", I still tell him football is rugby for girls, I still tell him the only thing that should be inside a pie is beef, because that's engrained into my personality.
He in turn puts on a hoighty-toighty la-dee-dah voice at me, because all British people are posh gits or he puts on a real little britain style "chav" Vicky Pollard accent innit
 

I have noticed that too with the accent. I am never sure if they are trying to make fun of me or trying to impress me, but every fake American accent I have been presented with here is either wild west or New York, so that the person sounds like a bad impression of John Wayne trying to be someone out of a mobster movie.  

On the flip side of that, when we were still in the States, there was the occasional person who would break into a horrid fake British accent to talk to me after learning that hubby is a Brit.  

Or maybe they're just trying to find a way to relate to you? And they think talking about who you are and where you're from is being inclusive rather than being annoying.

How about waiting until you two are alone and just explaining to her that rather than you being flattered that she's interested in your heritage that you find it annoying and would really like to get to know her on a more personal level and after that just change the subject to other things you have in common when she's talking about your American-ness.

As an aside I'm pretty sure this is a universal truth I've never had as many stupid questions asked of me then when I'm in the US and these are by my inlaws that have known me for over six YEARS. "Have I met the queen? Do they have chinese food in England? Does the queen get tired from sitting on her throne? Are you allowed to drink the water in England (or is it like in Mexico)? blah blah blah" I answer the best I can and then just laugh mostly.

And yes taking the piss is a national past time, I've been with my husband for six years, and I still tell him that Americanisms are "wrong", I still tell him football is rugby for girls, I still tell him the only thing that should be inside a pie is beef, because that's engrained into my personality.
He in turn puts on a hoighty-toighty la-dee-dah voice at me, because all British people are posh gits or he puts on a real little britain style "chav" Vicky Pollard accent innit
 

With the one who does it most, I have mentioned conversationally on several occasions I'd love to get to know more about her. I've politely told people that I'm not really comfortable only talking about myself because it feels rude and self centered.

I know people are just curious, but after 2 1/2 years of talking about myself, I just want to talk about something else once in a while. I also feel that it falls under the same area of annoyance that people feel entitled to ask anything they want and get an answer just because I am a foreigner in their country and therefore don't deserve the same privacy as the locals do. Maybe I am super sensitive about some things, but I really am uncomfortable with talking on and on and on about myself and only things related to me. It isn't that I am overly private, I am just shy and really like to blend in with the furniture instead of feeling like I am holding court and all ears are on me.