Its official - have to choose between fiance or my child. England or no.

You have also indicated that this person has refused to take work because it was "boring."  If he wanted you with him, he'd take whatever work was available to make it happen.  Has he taken any real steps to get things set up for your arrival?  It sounds like you've made the lion's share of the effort.  Yet another piece of irresponsibility on his part.

      

A grown man who lives with his mother and refuses to get a job is lazy and irresponsible.

A grown man - with two children - who lives with his mother and refuses to get a job is something else.

ETA - The reason I wanted my parents to get a divorce was not because they weren't meant for each other, but because I didn't want to have to live in the same house with my father every day. Giving birth to someone, or sharing your DNA with them, does not mean that you are the best person to raise them.

I don't envy your situation.  I agree with what most have said here, that a man who really loves you wouldn't ask you to make such a huge sacrifice when he's done virtually nothing to help you transition over to Manchester. 

I guess part of my confusion is, if your ex-husband is such a controlling person, why did you leave your daughter in his primary custody?  You've said previously that until recently, you didn't have much contact with your daughter.  I think it's great that you want a solid relationship with your child and honestly, any man who would force you to choose him over your child is not worth having.

Men come and go.  Your daughter has one mother.  You. 

It also appears that Katrina is going from one controlling man to another (with help from the latter's Mummy).  I don't know how the ex-husband controlled Katrina, but it sure looks like the new male (he is less than a man in my eyes) is calling the bulk of the shots here--when Mummy isn't. 

Katrina, why would you want to go from your ex controlling your life to another male and his Mummy controlling your life?  I'm seeing a pattern here, and it can be broken.  Love is not control.  It sounds like your current male's life is much more about him and Mummy (who seems to have a lot of control over him) than it is about you.  If guys like this are a habit in your life, it's time to break that habit. 

If you want to have a good life away from your ex-husband, you can have one 1-2 hours away and still have a more easily-maintained relationship with your daughter.  It would be a lot easier to drive 1-2 hours to see her than it will be to fly internationally. 

If your heart is in the UK, so be it, but please think long and hard before you put yourself into a situation that may be no better than what you're leaving.  You could give up everything in the US only to find that the UK is a case of "same s***, different bucket."  Once again, I wish you luck, peace and wisdom.  All the best with whatever decision you make. 

Honestly, it sounds to me that you may be wanting to use your fiance to move to England.  I'm not saying you don't care about him, but after all you have said about him, that you know he is selfish and this and that, you have so many doubts yet you still want to go and be with him and it seems you like the idea of living in Manchester more than the idea of being with him. It's easy to look around you and think your life kind of sucks and you need a serious change, but leaving your daughter to be with some momma's boy who doesn't seem to be all that interested in being a husband or a stepdad, seems like a pretty crap idea to me. Maybe you should move closer to your daughter and make a life for yourself there and try to forge a stronger relationship with her? Believe me, once you got here, you may find you really like Manchester, but I am sure life can be just as $hit in Manchester as in Ohio once you get settled in and get over the sort of wow factor that comes with making such a big change.

It also appears that Katrina is going from one controlling man to another (with help from the latter's Mummy).  I don't know how the ex-husband controlled Katrina, but it sure looks like the new male (he is less than a man in my eyes) is calling the bulk of the shots here--when Mummy isn't. 

Katrina, why would you want to go from your ex controlling your life to another male and his Mummy controlling your life?  I'm seeing a pattern here, and it can be broken.  Love is not control.  It sounds like your current male's life is much more about him and Mummy (who seems to have a lot of control over him) than it is about you.  If guys like this are a habit in your life, it's time to break that habit. 

 

This is what I have been thinking.

Honestly, it sounds to me that you may be wanting to use your fiance to move to England.  I'm not saying you don't care about him, but after all you have said about him, that you know he is selfish and this and that, you have so many doubts yet you still want to go and be with him and it seems you like the idea of living in Manchester more than the idea of being with him. It's easy to look around you and think your life kind of sucks and you need a serious change, but leaving your daughter to be with some momma's boy who doesn't seem to be all that interested in being a husband or a stepdad, seems like a pretty crap idea to me. Maybe you should move closer to your daughter and make a life for yourself there and try to forge a stronger relationship with her? Believe me, once you got here, you may find you really like Manchester, but I am sure life can be just as $hit in Manchester as in Ohio once you get settled in and get over the sort of wow factor that comes with making such a big change.

I agree with everything Jewlz said, and that whole thing needs to be re-iterated.

To be rather blunt, your fiance sounds like a sh*t guy to be in a relationship with, and possibly a sh*t guy all together.

To me, it does seem like you are using him as an excuse to go to the UK merely because you're looking for any excuse to go. What you need to realise is that since you don't have to get a visa so you don't need an excuse to go - you literally just can get on a plane at any point if you want to.

It sounds like your ex is being the responsible one, looking after your daughter and considering what is best for her. You can't hold out on having a relationship with your daughter because if you miss it, that's your only chance. While moving to England in a decade or two may not seem optimal, you still have that option as a UK Citizen and will always have that option.

Fact is, England will always be here. Your daughter won't.

The OP asked for tough love and honest advice and we've all given it. It's up to the OP to decide what's best for herself and her family now.