Going Crazy

The longest my fiance and I have ever been apart in the past 2 1/2 years has been 6 weeks.  It is now coming up on 6 weeks since I last saw him and I am going crazy.  We had planned for me to be there this weekend, but a course he needed to do became available and I knew we would be doing the fiancee visa for me by mid-February in anticipation of our wedding on March 10 in Edinburgh, so I thought I could cope waiting another 4 weeks.  I can't!  I am absolutely going insane.  I miss him, not just talking to him because we talk daily, but I miss affection and touching and just the day to day stuff of being with someone.  We have lived together in the past- for 7 months in the UK while I was on a student visa and then for 6 months in the US while he was visiting on the visa waiver two separate times.   The past 4 months have been apart, other than a week at Christmas.  At this very moment I feel like I can not cope and should just go book a flight to see him next weekend.  It's stupid, I'll be putting the fiancee visa paperwork in next week and going over on March 1- but it seems sooooooooo loooooooooooooong.  Please, is anyone else feeling sad and lonely?  Can you commiserate with me?    :\\\'(

Just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling sad and missing someone.  My boyfriend came out for christmas and left 3 weeks ago today and I won't see him till Mid-April...after that it will probubly be July till we are able to live together again, who knows.  And we are in Ferbuary, the triple threat month, 3 year anniversary together, valentines day and then my birthday at the end, all spent apart    I love him so much, butthis distance sucks, and it is the day to day stuff I miss the most.  You'll be there soon, but I know that it's never soon enough.

It is definitely just the day to day stuff that I miss the most.  I get so annoyed co-workers who say stuff like "oh I'd LOVE my husband to go away for 6 weeks"  haha.  It drives me crazy.  They have no idea how lucky they are to go home to their loved one every night.  The one good thing about this separation is it has made us both value one another all the more, and I think in the long run it will benefit our relationship.

DH and I were apart from 2 Jan 2003 to 20 Sept 2003.  NINE months!  Ugh.  It was absolutely the worst time of my life and wedding planning was the only thing that kept me going.  Believe me -- if I could get through those nine months in one piece, you can get through the next few weeks.  It's soooooo close and you'll be back together before you know it.  Stay strong and come here to moan whenever you need to!   

I can understand how you feel.  I was with my fiance for quite a while while I was living in Edinburgh.  However, I am now state-side, working and helping my sick parents.  We've decided to live in the states after our May wedding to be near my folks.  That means that he is still in Edinburgh and I am in WA state.  I left Scotland this summer, and he's been to visit twice.  Now, I won't see him until our fiance visa comes through (hopefully in time for our May 21 wedding!!).

It is hard to be apart from each other.  However, we find solice in the knowledge that it is not forever.  And, that by the time we see each other next, it will be forever.  No more airport goodbyes.  No more 6000 mile separations lasting for months at a time.  In just less than 15 weeks...the distance will be gone.  We will be together forever...blah blah blah.  We are acctually looking forward to the point where we are sick of each other and feel the need for a weekend alone...because it will mean that we've been on the same continent together at the same time for quite a while...

March 10 isn't far off.  Good luck, and congrats!

Oh, Frances, you are so right.  Getting into DH's (ours!) flat and unpacking my suitcases was the most wonderful feeling in the world.  Knowing that neither of us was going anywhere was just priceless! 

I'm more than impressed  by a 9  month separation......I have felt like a baby complaining about 9 weeks....DF (who was in the first Gulf) keeps saying "no one is getting shot at, we are both safe" and I try to remember that....and on the whole I think I'm doing okay.....it's the day to day, hour to hour that's hard.  Thanks for listening to me and sharing your experiences, it DOES help.   

Just for some perspective, keep in mind that some of us did long-distance relationships in the days before e-mail and the internet!! 
It took a week for a letter to arrive, and phone calls were something like £1 per minute!

I know it's difficult, but you really dont have it that tough! 

Just for some perspective, keep in mind that some of us did long-distance relationships in the days before e-mail and the internet!!
It took a week for a letter to arrive, and phone calls were something like £1 per minute!

I know it's difficult, but you really dont have it that tough!

I remember those days!

Just for some perspective, keep in mind that some of us did long-distance relationships in the days before e-mail and the internet!! 
It took a week for a letter to arrive, and phone calls were something like £1 per minute!

I know it's difficult, but you really dont have it that tough! 

I really don't know how you did it!!!!  You are right though, I know I didn't have that tough at all!

That is another thing that we always bring up when we are feeling sad and upset- at least we have email and more importantly the web cam.  I get to actually see his face daily.  And it is very inexpensive to call- I just got my phone bill and a recent 90 minute call was $9.00.  But I'll still be happy when we see each other in person!   

I remember running up $400 phone bills in the 80s talking to Phil...

Just take comfort in knowing that shortly you will be together forever

I remember running up $400 phone bills in the 80s talking to Phil...

That happened to me a couple of times too...  was quite a feat when you consider that my 80's British boyfriend didnt even have a phone in the house, and was a teacher, so i couldnt really call him at his work.  We had to make 'dates' for him to be at the phone box at the top of the road at a certain time, etc.  Poor thing, standing there freezing in a phone box in a Glasgow winter....  :\\\'(

I have been there. I have even considered getting some sort of anti-anxiety drugs at one point. I didn't, but I did spend money on tickets and use sick leave for a week coming up in March. Then, I recently found out that I most likely will be studying for my masters in the UK and get to live with my brit bf (Jmaster911). Suddenly, I felt like I should have saved the $ and the time, but then there are weekends like this past one where I feel like I'm ready to jump on a plane that instant.

All in all, I am looking forward to my visits, but living with him in the fall brings a sense of relief that I won't have to say goodbye all teary-eyed for at least 11months. So, take comfort in that and maybe ask your friends to help distract you for the next few weekends.