What "non-offensive" swear words do you use?

Now that our son is 18-months and starting to talk, my husband and I realized that we really should stop swearing.  I've tried going cold turkey, but I have the mouth of a sailor.  I need to use some kind of word.  That got us talking about using non-offensive words like "fudge" or "jeepers" instead of the "bad" ones.

So here's my question to all you parents and caregivers (or anyone else who feels like chiming in):  What do you say when your darling little tyke accidentally whacks you in the head with something?

One of these days I'll be in the same boat... here are a few I've collected... some to be used with irony on your part but the kids won't know that!! 

Many won't be new to you of course...

Sugar
Sugar pops
Fudge
Foo (fooey)
Shucks
Darn
Shucky darn
Poop
Tarnation
heavens to betsy
ermintrude
lord love a duck
flipping
blooming
Blast
Heck
Holey moley

I think that's it for now. Good luck. I have friends with bona fide bets on me not being able to stop swearing so I dread the day I deal with this!! 

No kids here, but the woman i work next to is extremely offended by swearing, so i've had to tame my vocabulary down a wee bit.

Gordon Bennett instead of G*dammit (or any other swearie words that have G*d in them!)
Flamin' Norah instead of F*ckin hell
Sugar instead of sh*t

Oooh, I like "Flamin' Nora".  Our little one says "Oh, pickles".  We think that's what they say at her school.  We made up "Cookie nuts!"  Instead if "F***cking nuts!" one night while watching Eddie Izzard.

These are all great!  Considering my husband has started using "Consarnit!" , we need all the help we can get.

I've been trying to train myself into saying "Rats!" instead of the f word because Philip is just beginning the stage where he'll mimic what we say, and I don't particularly wan't him to come across as a drunken sailor.

My personal favourite swear word is "B****cks!"  Because I can't say this either at work or at home, I say "Bananas!"

hecketty-toot

I am horrible about swearing. Usually I can control it when the kids are around but when I lose my temper it all comes out full force. 

My personal favourite swear word is "B****cks!"  Because I can't say this either at work or at home, I say "Bananas!"

The one advantage I have is that I'm in the States, so I suppose I can use words like "b****cks" and no one will care.  Or, for that matter, know what it means.  Hmm... I think I may be on to something.

What do you say when your darling little tyke accidentally whacks you in the head with something?

What's wrong with "What the f#ck are you doing you little B@st#rd?!!!?"   

Seriously, though, I've had to clean up my act because my little guy is a parrot and repeats everything.  I try to say "darn it" or "shucks", which for the most part, works.   

rabbit for B*tch

batteries for boll***

and mostly random vegetables for F*ck

kids on the ward find this funny


particularly when the adolencent kids know what they really mean and one just started to call the dietician "Rabbit"  

What's wrong with "What the f#ck are you doing you little B@st#rd?!!!?"   

Nah, then he'd think I was talking about Daddy.   

Nah, then he'd think I was talking about Daddy.   

 

Man, I am in trouble when I have kids!  I swear to no end!!!!