Does Anyone Have as Much Trouble Driving As I Do?

I don't come here much anymore because I'd like to think I'm pretty settled in, after 5 years. But lately I've been having mishaps with the car that I NEVER would have in the States and I guess I just need a little support.

I'm a nervous driver (only here in the UK) when I don't know where I'm going and I find that when I'm the least bit distracted it causes me problems. A few months ago I was driving home from work, hit something in the road and put a flat on the front tire. When I told my husband later on (he was away for the day) he was so angry he didn't talk to me for 2 days. Then a few weeks later I was trying to get the car out of our shoebox-sized garage, but it was parked crooked (by him) and I scraped the front left bumper on the wall. Of course he wasn't happy about that. And now, yesterday I went out and came back, pulling in our drive in front of our garage. I was messing with a CD player and due to my complete carelessness and stupidity I didn't realise that I'd forgotten to put the emergency brake on, and I was still in gear. Yup, the car started rolling forward and before I realised, it pushed against the garage door and knocked one side off it's track. AND we're due to move into a new house in 2 weeks.

What is it with me??? Am I the only one who has to concentrate SO HARD to drive over here? I've renounced it now, I'm not going behind the wheel again unless I'm in the States. I fear I'm becoming the poster child for bad women drivers.

Sorry for the gripe but I guess I just need to know if it's me or are there others who find it just as hard. This is the only aspect of living here that I have problems with.

Nope, you're not. I'm much better than I used to be but I'm still driving on a provisional and haven't gotten up the cajones to take my driving test yet.  You most certainly are not alone in this!!

Have you thought about taking more, or advanced, driving lessons? it may be just what you need to boost your confidence on the road again.  I'd hate to think my husband wouldn't talk to me for days because I had an accident with the car - could your husband's reaction  be bringing your confidence level down even more?

Your comfort is foremost, though - if you feel better not driving then you're definitely not alone. Nothing wrong with public transport (it's a weird and wacky world!) and if it keeps you sane, why not?   Best of luck either way!

The first time I ever drove here, I put a flat tire on a rental car!!!! (I still don't have a U.K. license) but plan to take lessons, (sounds stupid having had my Ca. license for 18 years......) as soon as we can afford it. I do plan on getting a U.K. lisence sometime...but imagine it will take ages. And I imagine I will have some of the same problems you do. Just takes getting used to, I guess. Sorry to hear your husband was so upset, when I put the flat on the rental, mine just laughed, and changed the tire!

You're not alone.  I only drive if I have to here and never very far.  The furthest I ever go is to the airport once every couple of years.  I find it stressful, and if I'm under any sort of stress at home it just makes me a worse driver. 

A adjusted pretty well to driving here. It's when I return to the US I have problems! 

First of all, you should not feel so bad. Your first incident doesnt sound too bad. My DW took out 2 tires on her Grand Cherokee hitting something unknown in the road. I was a bit upset because you cant  replace 2 tires at a time on an all wheel drive vehicle.Replacing four tires on her vehicle was expensive. 2nd the garages here are tiny, they are an accident waiting to happen. 3rd I always forget the E-brake and the same thing happens. You were just unlucky because you were too close to the garage door. Hang in there, I would be worried if you were turning into the wrong lane and crashing into other vehicles. As for your husband if he is at all like me we are perfect in everything we do,we never make mistakes! And of course we expect the same from the women we married

I didn't drive for the first 6 years I was here, we didn't have a car the first 4 years and the ex didn't drive so what was the point of taking lessons? It was a real feeling of loss of freedom to me though. But when I became "single", I got the lessons, and took the test twice to pass. Got an automatic car for convenience though I passed the test in a manual. I was rusty from not having driven in so long, and feel comfortable behind the wheel for the most part now. Reversing was difficult for me to get used to looking over my left shoulder instead of my right, but living on a narrow dead end street I'm getting lots of practice reversing, and getting better at it, and looking over that shoulder doesn't feel so weird anymore. My paranoia is getting lost, finding places, and braving the more metropolitan areas. I'd like to get a Sat-Nav system someday, if i could hear it over the noise of the kids in the car.

It just takes practice. If reversing is a sticky point, one could try going to a big carpark on a Sunday evening after the stores close at 4 and just mess around for a while. That's what my instructor did with me before my last test, because that's where I failed the first, and it worked.

And sorry, but not speaking to you for two days over a flat, that's just a bit over the top, imho.  I'm sure that doesn't help your nerves either, as twistedcynical suggested.

Can't say I have any problems but I do know that driving an automatic helps.

I am a very nervous driver.  I do well in areas with which I'm familiar and on motorways, but get me in a built up area or some place I've never been and my knuckles turn white gripping the steering wheel!  I refuse to drive far from home without my husband to check the map and directions because I'm so busy concentrating on the road, making sure I get in the right lane for roundabouts, blah, blah ...

Part of my fear no doubt comes from being unable to judge distance on the left-hand side of the car.  Even after five years of driving, I still struggle with that.

Try driving an automatic.  That might help. 

I am left handed, and I think that has helped a lot. 

I also learned to drive on a manual, so that wasn't as big a deal. 

And sorry, but not speaking to you for two days over a flat, that's just a bit over the top, imho.  

My thoughts exactly....I've not got much patience for that kind of behaviour any more....

The first time I drove, I drove from Edinburgh to St. Andrew's.  Needless to say, I'm glad I was a smoker then, b/c my nerves were shot by the time I made it there.

On the way back, I clipped someone's wing mirror.  I was absolutely mortified and immediately bolted out of the car to notify the authorities, exchange information, get a ticket, etc.  It was this posh Volvo estate and I thought, 'Man, this is going to cost me.'

But a well-heeled gentleman popped out of the pub his car was parked in front of and found me crying and apologising.  He thought it was funny as h*ll, took the £50 I offered, thanked me and told me to 'go on home'. 

 

I probably would've been sued w/i an inch of my life if that'd happened in the States.

When I told my husband later on (he was away for the day) he was so angry he didn't talk to me for 2 days.

This man needs to get a grip.

i hate driving in the states--too many eejits on the roads.

i'm utterly terrified of driving when i get to the uk--poor DF will be forced to cart my pasty ars* around until i overcome my deep-seated fear of roundabouts

Hi Regina, I can relate to some of what you are saying.  Please don't give up driving thinking it will be the answer though!   For me, NOT driving makes me feel worse, and I can't drive right now as my 1 year grace period ran out in August and I have now taken my first driving test and failed....anyways...

I know what you mean about not being scared back in the States.  It's what you are used to and where you learned!  (I presume)  Anyways, I have never been in an auto accident in the states in the 15 years I have been driving, and now suddenly, I feel as though I'm not good enough to drive here.  Driving with my husband, he has grabbed the side of the car (not being mean, he's just a nervous passenger ), and worst of all, while he was in the car, I scraped into the side of a brick wall that was parked on a road only narrow for one way traffic on a 30 degree incline.  It's tough, because it's different than what we are used to.  It's almost comical, because my tutor at school wants to get a rental car in Las Vegas when she visits during winter break, but she is too scared to drive on the wide roads with crazy drivers in huge cars.  It's always easier where we learn, or where we are used to.  You and I aren't bad drivers, we just need to learn to drive 'UK style'.  The only way to get over it though is to not give up.    Can you afford to take a few lessons, maybe with a female instructor who can put you at ease?  We really should be spending our money elsewhere, but my husband insists that I take lessons so that I can regain my independence and confidence about my driving abilities.   Taking lessons with an instructor can help you with your weak points and your confidence. 

Sari