Horrifying Dr. Visit!

So, being new to the country and pregnant for the first time, I thought I'd check out all of my options and went to Portland Hospital yesterday to have a consultation. 

The Dr. first said to me that no one cares about a pregnancy until 12 weeks as I could miscarry and what hospital would want to book me in before that.  He said, "if you miscarry, it's really just curtains, isn't it?"   He then said he'd do a 7-week scan and smugly said, "Well, you'd better make an appointment with me after that because if you miscarry, I'm going to have to pick up the pieces".

THEN, as if that isn't bad enough, he said that if I have a blood test that indicates the baby could have Down's, I should have an amnio as we wouldn't want the doctors and nurses to see "a baby with slitty eyes and a funny mouth on the day of the birth and not know why".

He wasn't even going to do a blood test - I demanded it as if I'm coming all that way, I may as well get something out of it! 

When I got the blood test, I completely lost it as I just felt so low...I was alone (as it was an early my visit, my husband didn't come - he wanted to, but work called), in a foreign country and had just been treated so horribly.  I just thought what are me and my baby going to do? 

I couldn't get my husband on the phone yesterday, but got my Mom and she talked me off a ledge!!! 

Today, I went to my local GP.  She was ok, not great, but at least referred me onto a midwife and they gave me a lot of information I wanted. 

I just wanted to share this story as I don't want it to happen to anyone else.  The Dr.'s name is Mr. Graham Barker and he is at The Portland Hospital in London.

I hope you're all having more positive experiences than I had yesterday.  This is a joyous time for us all!!!

that sux.  didn't offer CVS?  that can detect chromosomal abnormalities long before amnio.

hope the rest of your pregnancy goes better.

i think a major diff between here and the US is that pregnancy isn't treated as a medical condition here.  there are pluses and minuses to that, i guess.

but that sux about the portland.

I am so, so, sorry that you had such a horrible experience...I can't even start to imagine it! (I can believe it though, as I have had similar callous comments made concerning other issues.) Maybe you should write a letter or something describing your experience so that something might be done with this doctor? It is sad to think others will have to go through such a "fun" first pregnancy visit  

Glad to hear you made out better with your GP and hopefully the midwife experience will be even better. I am a firm supporter of midwives!

  You poor thing!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. . .

 [smiley=bomb.gif]People like that TICK ME OFF

I am so sorry that what should have been an exciting appointment was ruined by a smug, arrogant rude piece of sh*te like that.

I do hope you are going to complain to him and his directors, in writing and copy it to the GMC, they won't do a lot, but at the very least you deserve an unreserved apology.

I presume they only make multi-million $ mummy's feel wonderful and welcome.

 

  WHAT!!!!  They said this to you at the Portland!  WTF!!!  I'm so, so sorry you went through that and alone!  How insensitive and downright rude.  And to say that about a baby with Downs.  I would report him if I knew where to report him too.  I honestly feel sick.

i think a major diff between here and the US is that pregnancy isn't treated as a medical condition here. there are pluses and minuses to that, i guess.

I think another major difference is that no doctor would dare say such a rude and horrible thing about a Down's Syndrome baby.

I imagine there are quite a few organizations that would like to hear about that.

oh hon I am so sorry *hugs* you handled that so much better then I would've. If a doctor said that to me I would've flipped out on him.
Please don't let him bring you down and upset you. You shouldn't let a twat like that get away with it,I'm with the others,,report him!

That's shocking I can't believe the doctor spoke to you like that!! Hugs.

I would report him if I knew where to report him too.  I honestly feel sick.

Either ask for information about the PALS service at the hospital (Patient Advice & Liason Service) or ring the Citizen's Advice Bureau and ask how to get in touch with ICAS (Independent Complaints Advocacy Service.) Not enough people speak up when they really and truly should!!!! Also, every Trust or PCT should have a complaints person.

Because I work in this area (sort of) I'm pretty quick at finding the relevant information. Portland Hospital is run by South West Dorset PCT. Their PALS contact information is:

alison.bowcott@southwestdorset-pct.nhs.uk
01305 368900

And the London ICAS office is:
08451203784

Do make a complaint - I think that's shocking behaviour - especially the comments re. Downs Syndrome....

Great info Anne - NYNY I would definitely follow this up - that guy needs a talking to.  I hope you have a better experience next time.

Great info Anne - NYNY I would definitely follow this up - that guy needs a talking to.  I hope you have a better experience next time.

A TALKING TO? The man needs his head examined. Hippocratic oath my foot. . . .

gods, hun, im sorry that t**ser spoke to you like that!!

do make a compliant. other women need to be warned...

for now, just take care of yourself...

What an absolute miserable..pathetic little weasel of a man.

Women shouldn't have to go thru that kinda thing. I know what it is to have problems with a pregnancy and you really want the support of a Dr. there to alleviate the worry....

Somebody needs to open a can of whoop ass on him!

Being pregnant is hard enough - especially in a new place - without the professionals involved making you feel worse! I understand what he was saying about "there's nothing we can do if you are miscarrying" but cripes, try having the smidgiest smidge of tact!! Certainly not the kind of Dr. I'd ever ever visit again!