what do you all think?

Ok, I have just been informed  by my fiance hes not sure we can afford a wedding in July..and his mum is telling him to postpone because I wont have time to plan...they were both suggesting Sept which is still in the timeframe of 6 months and I would come over as planned. However as you all know by now we plan to move to bath, which is really expensive.

My son will be there with us in July, so wed essentially HAVE to rent a place...if we didnt get married till Sept Im worried we wouldnt be able to afford a flat w/o eating into the wedding budget. We certainly wouldnt be saving extra money until sept, it would all be going toward rent and bills...it would only buy us time....

Ive mentioned just doing the registry office thing but my fiance is opposed to that idea at all. Anyone have any ideas as to where we could find a venue thats a lot cheaper than most I have found? His parents have offered to pay for food at the reception....his cousin is a photographer and I am hoping we can get him to do the wedding, maybe for less than full cost, the dress is being bought in the US to make it cheaper...everything I CAN buy in the US I will...I am keeping it all very simple, to keep costs down as much as possible, but now hes saying even that may not be enough...


To me getting married to him is the most important part, not the location, the time, the way etc.....

We're going to talk more tonite when he gets home...Im just a bit upset that this is starting to feel like I dont have any say in this.

All I want is my son with me and df and I married.

hmmm..maybe find a cheaper location to reside?


also curious why he is against a registry office wedding. I had one and it was lovely. In fact today is our 5th anniversary. Many of us on here had registry office weddings.

I think he thinks it wouldnt be nice, his sister had a very plain registry office wedding, she didnt want anything at all

I have talked to him about finding somewhere cheaper to be but wed have to get a car

Im just not sure where to cut any other corners, well, forget just the corners I have cut as much out or in half as I can....short of just getting married with only witnesses there theres not a lot I can do The venue would be 150 which I really didnt think was too bad.

Another option is us getting married as soon as I am legally able and then having another ceremony after a few months of both of us working...but dont know if hed go for that..ths is his first and only wedding, although we already planned in about 5 years to do a big thing in Hawaii...

I had a few weddings.  First was a registry wedding to get the legality's out of the way.  A few months later we had a huge wedding (Did the vows again) in NY then had a reception a few months later in England for people who could not come to NY.

Would he object to a registry wedding for now and then you can save up some money for the reception later on?  It worked really well for us. (Though slightly diff. circumstances)

Can you have a registry wedding then a nice "home reception" at his Mom's home or something?  I guess it really depends on what you want the wedding to be.  If you really don't care about the hoopla of a big affair, talk to your fiance and see if he will reconsider.  Then, you can have a fancy 1st Anniversary celebration where you re-do your vows and have a grand reception.  This way, you can work ASAP and you can save money faster for a larger affair.

As long as you are married, and happily so, then the rest will just be a cake ...

Well even if you bought a cheap used car it would still be much cheaper than paying rent and council tax in Bath.

Our registry office wedding was really nice. We dressed up and had a formal reception afterwards.
Take no notice of the dead flowers in my bouquet. It's the only thing that went wrong that day.

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Wow you guys looked wonderful

I will suggest all of these to df, and hopefully we can find a compromise. Neither of us wants a huge wedding, there wont be that many people there, we just want it simple...

I am finding myself getting to the point that I am considering compromising on the one thing I didnt want to..I found THE dress, its approx £300. But now I have started to think thats too much gonna check around to see if I can find it elsewhere cheaper but Im not gonna hold my breath


Did I mention his parents offered to pay for the food? I cant remember now The flowers will be really simple and I am hoping to find someone that does bulk to make it cheaper..or at least will let me pay by the stem and not arrange them for me.

Also making our invitations..I have mentioned making the cake myself and part of it would be a dummy cake...I used to do cake decorating so I know I am capable esp since I want super simple design...swiss dots

what are the things that are in every wedding and arent a choice as far as what can be taken out?

He reminds me again why I love him...he thinks of me in times like this..he said he would prefer to cut back on anything 'extra' than see me compromise on my dress...he knows how much it means to me....

Your hubby is a hottie Ricki

We had a lovely registry wedding. Its not the small office type that they have in the states. Some offices here are really quite nice.

I am finding myself getting to the point that I am considering compromising on the one thing I didnt want to..I found THE dress, its approx £300. But now I have started to think thats too much gonna check around to see if I can find it elsewhere cheaper but Im not gonna hold my breath

The wedding is not the most important part of your marriage, so I cannot understand why, especially if you and your fiance are already having financial issues, that he wouldn't consider having a registry wedding.  Then, afterwards, you can have a nice reception and spend the money where it should be spent, on the party!
BTW...(not that you asked me) £300 for a wedding dress is too much IMO if you are worried about money.  My husband and I got married in really nice clothes, but clothes we'd wear again.  We went to our favorite stores and picked out really great pieces and yes, we did spend about $500 total, but I wear my outfit a lot.
Knowing what your highest priorities are is the most important part of being in a relationship...moving out into your own apartment, having money to spend on your child when he visits, these are SOO much more important than a dress, etc..

Good luck

We all want our dream wedding. But most of us at some point have to make compromises. 

We all want our dream wedding. But most of us at some point have to make compromises. 

VERY true!! My husband and I knew how much money it would take to "start" our life together.  Small things add up so quickly, so we knew we'd have a lot of saving to do.  Especially in the UK!  I can't believe how much silverware costs!

With the money my husband and I saved on having a big wedding, we purchased a beautiful sleigh bed, memory foam mattress, linens, kitchen stuff, etc...   Truthfully, even if I had parents that could afford to spend $50,000 on a wedding for me, I'd want the money for a down payment on a house instead!  Money troubles = big troubles in a marriage.

Another registry office wedding, here...

I dont know what you/your man are picturing when  you think of registry office weddings, but many of these places are really gorgeous...

Here are some pics of the registry office in Glasgow, for example.. (i was married in the Avon room):

http://www.glasgow.gov.uk/en/Residents/BirthDeathMarriage_Citizenship/Marriage/CivilWeddingsatParkCircus/

In addition to the nice rooms, you can have pics taken on a really pretty staircase with leaded glass windows, in the gardens, etc. 

(I know youre not in Glasgow... that was just to give you a rough idea of what you can expect... I imagine the one in Bath would be really nice as well, cos Bath is so historic and has so many grand buildings.)

Im not knocking registry offices at all, Im sure there are some that are great...I think hes going by his sisters wedding, which she didnt want ANYTHING at all...

He seems to be willing to consider living somewhere cheaper, I love Bath, its beautiful, but somewhere cheaper we can find a bigger place for less...Im willing to drive, although I admit Im scared stiff of driving on my own

Im sure when I am there we can actually go through what we can take out and what needs to be left in etc....Im definitely not going to veto the registry office.

He seems to be willing to consider living somewhere cheaper, I love Bath, its beautiful, but somewhere cheaper we can find a bigger place for less...Im willing to drive, although I admit Im scared stiff of driving on my own

It will be scary at first, but I promise you you'll get used to it! And a lot quicker than you ever imagined too!

Hey it's your big day.  If the dress is important to you and the setting is important to your fiance then I'm sure you can make compromises elsewhere.  Maybe if you have an idea of your exact budget and timeframe you'll feel better. 
I don't think it's a bad idea though to give yourself a couple months to get your bearings.