Thoughts on seating

I'm having a reception that has food stations...appetizer type stuff for the first hour, more meal like things for the second, cake for the third and some snacks for the fourth hour.  I'm not a huge fan of having to sit in specific places at weddings, particularly at a 'head table'...really don't want one of those.  But do you think I should have set table seatings for my guests?  It's going to be a wedding where you can get up and get food when you want, dance when you want, drink when you want, socialize when you want, etc. 

No.  Plain and simple.  It's just not necessary in that format!

My family owns a catering restaurant and they always recommend seating for Reception style Receptions.  It all depends on how many guests you are having.  If it's a fairly large wedding people, I say do the seating.  People are accustomed to being assigned seats at weddings.  It might confuse them, especially older relatives.  Then they'll be asking everyone where they are supposed to sit.  There is always a chance of only a few people filing one table and no one else sitting with them.  I've seen this happen too.

Also consider whether they guests know each other or if it's going to be a mixture of people some of whom have never met before.  If a large number of guests don't know each other, a seating plan might be useful and might make your guests feel more comfortable. You don't have to have a "top table", you can have everyone sitting where you like.  People will probably start swapping around after a while anyway, that's what's  happened at most weddings I've been to. 

that is a GOOD point, if people don't know each other it does help!

I personally prefer assigned seating when I go to a wedding.  Otherwise...it brings up memories of my first day in the cafeteria of a new school...standing there with my food and no idea who to sit with!  I'd say just assign tables rather than actual seats.

PS:  I was surprised when I opened a bio on The Knot and saw your icon picture!  I'm Tanith over there.

I went to a wedding 1 week before my own and she did not have assigned seating.  I knew a lot of people there, but hadn't seen them in a LONG time!  It was uncomfortable for me to have to find my own seat.  You figure people mingle around anyway and if they aren't happy with their seating arrangement then it's only for a little while.  That being said, making the seating chart was the WORST part of my wedding planning.  I hated having to do it and knew not everyone would be happy, but who cares...it's only for an hour or so during dinner!  It worked out fine and no one complained   (At least not to me!)

Okay...looks like I'll be having a seating chart, but suggest that people feel comfortable with moving around.

I went to a wedding in San Jose a few years ago, and they had the tables numbered, but with numbers that somehow related to them. Instead of tables 1-15, they had table 31, table 304, etc. Under the number was an explanation. 304 was how much their first phone bill after they met was, and 31 was the day in October that they met, 786 was the number of days they were engaged, etc. It was fun and encouraged people to get up and walk around.

Not sure if you like the idea, but someone else might. 

That's cute!

We went on a cruise through Alaska for our honeymoon, so our tables were named after different cities in Alaska  (Juneau, Skagway, etc). That way nobody felt bad being at table 14 and not table 2! hehe

There are really fun ways and ideas to make the planned seating a little more interesting!

People are accustomed to being assigned seats at weddings.

I'm not accustomed to having assigned seats. I've only been to one or two that did, and I thought they were strange and uncomfortable - like I was being forced on particular people.

But I grew up in a southern, immigrant family, and receptions were likely as not outdoor barbeques. The seating chart one was for someone from a wealthy northeast family, so their culture was very different in lots of ways. Perhaps the suggestion there is consider what your families are used to.

Ardenbird and I had a reception a lot like what you are describing. We didn't have assigned seating, and it worked out fine. Well, actually, we tried to have a reserved table for the wedding party, so we could get a chance to talk more with our best friends, but it didn't really work out that way because a few other friends sat down too, and we didn't feel like telling them to leave. People mingled, although we did introduce a few of them as we circulated. And everyone reported they had a good time.

I went to a wedding in San Jose a few years ago, and they had the tables numbered, but with numbers that somehow related to them. Instead of tables 1-15, they had table 31, table 304, etc. Under the number was an explanation. 304 was how much their first phone bill after they met was, and 31 was the day in October that they met, 786 was the number of days they were engaged, etc. It was fun and encouraged people to get up and walk around.

Not sure if you like the idea, but someone else might. 

We're kind of doing that but with names of places that are important to us, rather than numbers. Like one table is named "Manchester Airport" because that's where he proposed and obviously we've had many greetings and goodbyes there when we lived apart.

Anyways, I've only ever been to one wedding that didn't have assigned seating and it was awkward at first, a lot of people were shuffling around not knowing where to sit or how to split themselves up - I wound up not being able to sit with my parents or my brother and sis in law because all the tables already had a few people sitting at them and there wasn't enough room for all of us to sit together. I did manage to sit with someone I knew and of course I had my date but I would have much rather been able to sit with my own family.

But we were really only sitting there for a small portion of the night... the rest of the night we were up dancing.

Hey!  Best of luck with your wedding...can you believe it's this weekend?!!!

most of my family has had  assigned seating at  weddings  but my one cousin did not.She just made sure that close family  had  reserved tables..so they all sat together  and everyone  else fended for themselves..  so the  mother of the bride  or nan wasn't sitting at the  'office' table..