Where did you get married?

I would love some advice from any Americans who have married a Brit (or vice versa!). I'm really struggling to find a solution that will make everyone happy.

My fiance and I have decided to get married in the US in April '07 (to appease my family, especially since I'm moving to the UK). We want to have a destination wedding so we can vacation before the wedding with our families. They have never met and we want the whole experience to be very relaxed and on neutral territory. My mom is throwing a fit about the whole thing and thinks I'm ashamed of where I come from, which is completely not true! His parents are even planning to visit my home town first. This is what we really want and she is not getting it! It does, however, get very tricky planning a wedding 7 hours away with a fiance who is 4,000 miles away.

I'm just curious where you chose to get married and why. Did you have an event in both countries to include as many people as possible? Any advice for those going through the planning process? I'd really, really appreciate it................. 

I'm just curious where you chose to get married and why. Did you have an event in both countries to include as many people as possible? Any advice for those going through the planning process? I'd really, really appreciate it................. 

We got married in the registry office at Park Circus in Glasgow.  It wasnt my 1st marriage, so we went low-key, and were not interested in including as many people as possible. 
The reason we chose the registry office is because we arent particularly religious (DH is an atheist, and i am a failed/lazy Episcopalian) so didnt want a church wedding, but the registry office was beautiful and seemed like it would be pretty in the photographs. 

We got married in Swansea registry office because we had been to that area when we first met and loved it.  Second marriage for both of us, it was just us and two friends as witnesses.   The registry office had a webcam so friends everywhere watched via that. We had a lovely lunch at a restuarant in Mumbles village afterwards.

We had vague plans to have a big do at a Scottish castle at some unspecified future date, which we would invite everyone to, but which has never happened!

I totally recommend not inviting anyone, it is much less stress!!

Leith registry office.

It wasn't my first marriage, either.  So we also kept it low-key.

The witnesses were registry office employees.

I'd recommend eloping to any one.

We got married in the registry office at Park Circus in Glasgow.  It wasnt my 1st marriage, so we went low-key, and were not interested in including as many people as possible. 
The reason we chose the registry office is because we arent particularly religious (DH is an atheist, and i am a failed/lazy Episcopalian) so didnt want a church wedding, but the registry office was beautiful and seemed like it would be pretty in the photographs. 

Yes this is me exactly.
We had a really lovely little ceremony at the Coventry registry office. We wore formal garb and had a professional photagrapher. My mother and sister came over for the wedding but we only had about 30 in total. It was very nice.

I was in a very similar position. I wanted to either get married over here (easier for me to plan, as I was over here as a student at the time), or a destination wedding that was neutral. My mother cried for the first month of our engagement until I relented and had the wedding near home. I don't regret it at all. My mother wanted to 'host' hte wedding, and in the end, although it was very small (35 total - including DH and me), it was lovely and intimate. A lot of my parents' friends made up the numbers, but they enjoyed it and made lovely guests. We missed having more of our friends there, and DH's family, but we also had a blessing in the UK a few months later. (We only waited that long b/c we shared it with PIL's silver wedding anniversary celebration - I wouldn't recommend that!)

I found that, b/c my parents were paying the bulk of it, by their choice, it felt 'nicer' for me to have it near them, where everyone was mroe or less happy. (PILs were happy to have a holiday in America - and have since gone back, they love it so much!) If you're paying, a desination wedding in a neutral area may be great, but think about a few things:
Will your mum be happy, and will you be happy if there's tension about it? Is the destination any easier to get to than your hometown? And are you likely to get any more guests there than your hometown? Will it be harder for your family to come, but any easier for his family?

If you really want hte destination, try to reassure your mum you're not embarrassed. (I gave up.) Emphasise the week before, when you can show off your home town. (In hte end, we didn't show off as much as poss b/c of jet lag and wedding preparations - but they enjoyed it, and the families spent good time together.) Tell her you want friends to come, and it'll be easier?

These things didn't work for me. I still think a destination wedding would've been fun and neutral - but I loved our wedding. It was perfect. In the end, sharing wtih friends was nice (at the blessing/second reception in the UK), but on the day, our immediate families and us were all that were really important. And there wasn't enough time to spend with them!

Sorry - this has got really rambling  I've just been thru the exact same thing and know it's really tough. Message me if you want to talk! 

We did ours in York at a hotel.  I wanted someplace nice, but didn't want my American guests to worry about getting from the registry office to the reception area too much, so we just had it all in one place.  This was easiest for us (but by no means the cheapest way for us), because dh had more time to plan it than I did.  Plus, I was not living near my parents at the time, so that wasn't necessary either.  His family drove/trained up to see it, and mine flew over.  His friends from here made up most of the guests, but I had a few appearances of mine too!  It was perfect for us.  IMO, you two should do what will be perfect for you, as it's your wedding. 

We got married in the US because I have a big family, he has a very small one so we figured it would be easier to have his family travel for the wedding than mine.

We booked an old mansion that looked kind of English which pleased my husband lol, the ceremony was outside in the garden and the reception inside the ballroom.

We were planning to have a small party for some of the people in england who couldn't make it over but we haven't gotten around to it yet.

Planning from afar was kind of difficult... I tried to get as much done as I could when I had trips back to the US to visit my family but I had to ask my mom and sis in law (maid of honor) to help do a lot for me while I was in england.

Good luck!

We got married in Las Vegas.. It was great!   Simple and no stress!   We had originally planned to marry in St. Lucia but my husband is in the forces and the kind people in charge and the wonderfuly striking firefighters he was covering for kept changing dates. 

In the end we said Vegas because it was quick and easy (very little planning involved) and it was the best decision we made. We invited everyone but because it was between Christmas and New Year and last minute it was just the two of us.  I don't think I would have had it any other way now.

I got married in SC at his church, as I was moving over here anyway, just made sense, we were both on our first marriage, his mom planned most of it, as I was in England until about 2 weeks before, very DIY wedding, we made the dress, cake, bridesmades dresses, brother made the invites..  Very cute though, my parents were fine with whatever I did (I was blessed!), I only had them and my brother at the wedding, too expensive for anyone else to come.  We have thought about having a vowel renewal service in England when we move back there next year, we are up to 10 years.

My cousin just got married, they had abit more money than us, they married over in the US at a beautiful registry office and then did a blessing at a beautiful country estate in England.

All depends on how much you want to spend, what type of wedding you want and  how many people you want there.  If I were to choose my dream wedding, it would be a tropical island with close family.. 

We're getting married next weekend in New York City, and having another reception (no ceremony) in Warwickshire in November.

There were a few reasons why we decided to do it this way. My mom was clearly the person most interested and excited about doing doing the planning (she knows my taste/style, and hasn't been too pushy, so I've just let her run with it--I'm not the type of person who enjoys planning this sort of thing), so it made sense to do it at our home-base. We have had a relatively short engagement (6 months) so it was easiest to plan where I live, instead of from afar. We also weren't interested in doing the fiance visa, as we wanted to save money and effort and just get the spousal visa in one shot. After I started planning the wedding here in NY, I realized how important it was to me for it to be in this city. Especially since I will be moving to London immediately after.

My fiance's parents and siblings will be coming to New York, but since he has a very large extended family that won't be able to make it to the US, his family is throwing us a UK reception at a hotel in Warwickshire. I am very happy and feel very fortunate with this outcome, because most everyone is happy!

We got married in the States. It was easier, faster and cheaper.

Since we were only having one ceremony in Texas we decided to be fair (for DH and I) it would be a very small and personal wedding. Only parents and siblings were invited so in total it was 8 people including the bride/groom. I couldn't have asked for anything better, it was perfect. Both sets of parents had to do some traveling, obviously my in-laws a whole lot more than my parents who live in Texas. But my in-laws were game for it since it was somewhere they'd never been. Also the way both sets of parents looked at it was hey this is our kids wedding wherever they want to do it is fine by us b/c it'll make them happy.

Perhaps you should sit down and have a talk to your mom and explain to her that planning a wedding, having a LDR and moving abroad is more than enough to worry about without having her throwing a wobbly as well. Good luck in whatever you do and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Thank you all so much for your replies and good wishes! We had always planned on having a smaller, more intimate wedding. I know it's going to be a very emotional day, so I'd rather have a more private event. We do want to have a reception in the UK if we can manage it.

You all have given me lots to think about. I love hearing how everyone got married and I feel reassured that everyone has done it loads of different ways. We're planning on getting married in Charleston at the moment - it is so laid back and very quaint - it reminds me a lot of england in that tradition has really been preserved there. There's also tons to do and it is so beautiful!

I live in Charlottesville, VA, which is also a lovely place. I'm definitely going to weigh my options and speak to my Mom again. She is paying for most it, so I have to take that into consideration. I really do appreciate all the replies. Thanks very much! 

Just remember that this is your day! Don't let anyone guilt you into something you don't want.  Its wrong!

We married in Oglebay Park, in the formal gardens, located in Wheeling, West Virginia on July 20, 2002. I'm from WV and we lived in the area for the first 2 years of our marriage before coming to the UK. This is an old post-card picture of the gardens...it was lovely!