Feel a bit silly saying all this...

Hi, I just thought I'd say hello, after reading so many threads here, it is just so nice to see people who understand and don't think you're crazy heh heh.
I met my boyfried a few years ago when we worked for the same website, (he's from TX, I'm from London) but about 18 months ago we started to realise, that maybe there was something more there than just being colleagues and having the same sense of humor,so we started to talk - alot, I was up until 5am most nights after rushing home at 5pm to chat, and after about 6 months of that, he came over for 2 weeks, which was - amazing, since then he's visited twice, and I've been out to TX.
The distance...well sometimes it seems so vast I can't even get over it, it's so difficult to even fathom how far away he is, and I'd do anything for just five minutes, a hug a kiss. Just five minutes of contact.
I returned from TX about 6 weeks ago, and I found it so hard to adjust back, after 3 weeks there being here on my own felt so...wrong...Although I've got more used to it lately.

Currently, the only way we could see around the whole visa thing was him transferring colleges here. He has been accepted here, but currently he (we) are going through FASFA, which is the most longwinded confusing process ever...it's also so hard to think that right now some loan officer somewhere has our fate in his hands...

If it all works out, then he'll be moving here in a few months, if it doesn't, I have no idea what we'll do, I don't know how much more I can endure of the distance, my heart says he is so worth it (he is ) and I shoudl wait any amount of time, but when you're sitting alone and missing him, it's so much harder.
Luckily I have good friends and a nice job, try to keep busy, but.. I need my boy!

We're both 24, I'm a university grad, he isn't (yet) any advice at all?other than "hang on in there" which I will but is always nice to hear

good luck to everyone in the same situation, sorry to whittle on!!!

x

Hang on in there!  Oddly enough, my DF said that to me yesterday when I had a momentary freak out about distance, longing, etc.  Since you are happy and you see he is worth it and sees you as worth it, then hang on in there!  LDR's are really hard and at times really painful.

Everyone will have different opinions and will give you different advice on what to do, but, some of the best advice I have received (very recently, in fact) is to follow your gut instinct.  Do what is best for you. Things sometimes have a funny way of working out (even if it isn't FAFSA or Uni's).

Lovely story about the two of you.  Very sweet!

Good luck!  Feel free to vent here or PM anytime if you need to vent.

Also, where in Texas?  I am a Texan (well, former, now live in Massachusetts).

 

It is hard, and I know how you feel to some extent. I also empathize with the student loan process. I don't know if you've checked the Student Lounge area, but there are loads of threads there with advice and what not. So if he ever has questions or runs into problems, let him know that he can post there for help! We have lots of people here with experience in the loan process. It's not fun or easy and is a total annoyance altogether, but it IS possible to make it work. Just keep at it, and he'll be in the UK in no time. I definitely wish you both luck in the process.

I think the hang up we're having is bad credit, my boy admits making a stupid error when he was a freshman, running up about $500 on a credit card which he then ignored, and tripled etc, and pretty much destroyed his credit rating. (I did pretty much the same thing, you just don't realise teh consequences at 18, it's like whoa booze money!!!)

So he's done the FASFA and got the SAR, doing the SCF and the MPN now, so we're just waiting to see if he can get a private loan to cover the remainder, please oh please sallie mae!

If he's rejected, then, I think I'm going to be devestated, I've already fallen into the trap of looking for somewhere for us to live, and having those stupid lovely wonderful daydreams.
You know, where it's a cooler,funkier version of  a 50s household (but I still always look gorgeous in amazing dresses! (unlike now heh heh)) 

We don't really have a contingency plan for if he's turned down, which scares me a lot and I worry I'm bugging him as I'm constantly like "did you post that, did you read this..." heh heh. Good thing he knows I'm a little...anal sometimes

Thanks for all your kind words, it does make it so much easier to see people in the same situations, (well similar)

It just amazes me how difficult moving to the US or the UK is... I love this person, he loves me, we both are educated, healthy, working people who want to be together. Why is it so hard?

I just hope that this experience will ensure that we never take the little things, like just..being together, watching tv, or making dinner together for granted.





 

Hi, welcome to UKY.  I know the thousands of miles between each other can feel very lonely.  I hope it all works out for both of you. 

Welcome to UKY, MaryKate.

DH and I did the long-distance thing, too, for over two and a half years.  The distance can be absolutely unbearable at times - hang in there!

Another sympathizer here. My DB is moving here in 2 weeks 2 days and it has been a long year of LDR. I'm sure it'll work out in the end if you two both want this. Just hang in there and feel free to vent here, we all understand!

No reason to feel silly. Lots of us here have vented and shared our hard times of being in a long distance relationship. Its nice that so many people here "get it" and don't just think we are crazy for being in this position.  It sounds like you have things in order and hopefully the loan will go through to get your bf there soon. I will keep my fingers crossed that all goes well. Good luck to you both 

Hi, don't feel silly! A lot of us have been in a similar situation. Good luck getting eveyrthing worked out. 

I always hated waiting on Sally Mae when I'd study abroad.  I hope he hears back positively very soon. 

I know what you mean about anal too.  When dh and I were getting documents together for my fiancee visa, I was always hounding him about if he'd saved this, or had that document signed, etc.  We got through it though!  I hope this works out for you two and you can be together. 

I know this is the right thing to be doing, because it just feels so much better than any of my other relationships (including a previous very serious one) it just “fits” perfectly and it has always seemed as if him and I were on the same wavelength at the same time, from the initial “uh…I think I might Like…Like you” to “Um…I think I might..um…oh Love you”  and everything in between and after.
I like that he isn’t in a hurry in the same way I’m not, but ultimately we want the same thing, which is a marriage and children, a home. But we both have dreams we want to achieve first (have as much education as possible, travel as much as we can, build successful careers that will enable us to have enough to live on comfortably but not work ourselves to death) and we have similar timescales in mind, (not that you can plan your life, but I think there’s value in knowing how your partner sees their own “successful” or “ideal” future and seeing if yours matches) If he wanted desperately a family now, then I know we wouldn’t be suited as I don’t feel at all ready to make a commitment to children whilst I’ve never been to Japan.
Although I have some normal anxiety about him moving here, it really is pretty small, and it’s more of the “I hope he makes his own friends” and “ I hope he finds a job he likes as much as the one he has now” variety and is completely outweighed by the “What if his private loan is rejected by Sallie Mae?”
I’d move to America in a heartbeat, but I don’t think I can, although I’m a graduate in Astrophysics, with strong IT skills and currently a financial analyst, whenever I look at getting a H1-B or whatever, a lot of “pay us to search our database for jobs” comes up, and it just seems like such a scam, or I have to take a job in a theme park cleaning trash, which I can’t really afford to do (still paying off credit cards/student debt etc)
Most days are happy days, we talk and laugh and our excited as our lives together are just beginning, but occasionally, like the other night, all that fear and doubt and “it’s not faiiiiiiir” rubbish kicks in.
Thanks so much for all the support, it honestly means the world, to see other people do the same thing, come through it and be happy together is the greatest testament for me to just have faith in the guy I love and trust my own instincts and it’ll work out 

Trust those instincts.  They never, never let you down. 

Trust those instincts.  They never, never let you down. 

I hope that means good things have happened for you Dar!

I hope that means good things have happened for you Dar!

For the time being, we are good.  We shall see what July brings! 

i've been going through the process for a year now (not much for some, but for an impatient girl like myself it's quite a feat). Keep your daydreams... even if all goes astray, you'll always have them. you need something to hope for. ... and i'll give you advice that my long-distance boy gave me... "babe, stop worryin'.. you're doin' my head in"   hope your boy is fairing better than mine through the matter.  haha.

- keep hoping. it worked for me.. 2 days till move in -

-jo