What changes when you're married?

But, these past 5 months have been a real helping of humble pie (as C. is suporting me, first time I haven't made it on my own).

I agree - that part is HARD, and it only really gets better when you've got an income of your own again.  That said, part of marriage is supporting each other - I've had to let go of a lot of independence and rely on DH for things (both financial and otherwise) and I'd like to think it's brought us closer together.  Sort of like what Lola's saying....

Biggest change?  Having to remember that when people refer to "your husband," they're not talking to the person next to/behind/near me. 

I think for me, I'm worried about the shift from mine and his to OURS.

Yeah, that can be tough. I am not a spendaholic, but my husband is definitely the one that keeps the budget so it is a good thing I have an account just for my personal spending (i.e. the non necessities). It certainly takes time to transition to the fact that your spending is about both of you, although hopefully you will both some way of ensuring you have some way of keeping some money your own. It is always a balance, isn't it?

I think I have become more accommodating... Less "me" and lots of "we"... Or at least I try to make more of an effort for that to be the case.

Well, we're still in the honeymoon phase (married last October), but honestly being married has been so much better and more fun than we even imagined. It's been slightly difficult at times adjusting to living over here, and trying to find a job at first, but the being married part has been easy.

I think the biggest change for me is that I've become a lot better at picking my battles. Knowing that this is the long haul, I just don't find we have the energy for little fights. Of course, they happen from time to time, but not very often.

Our money situation is what really changed for us.  We used to fight a lot about bills and money.  It was a bit hard for me to adjust going from mine to ours.  Plus the fact that I have a spending problem didn't help (still working on that but I've become much better at it).

I felt more secure as well since we got married.  Things felt more comfortable and I didn't feel like I needed to impress him.  Sex life isn't what it used to be either.  Although that's mostly because we have a son that never sleeps and is extremely active so we're always exhausted.

Besides that there really wasn't anything else that changed for us.

Not too much has changed for me.  But, in saying that, we have 2 young kids together, have bought our house already and have lived as a family for years now. 

Nothing really just the hassle of everyday life before it was more relaxed guess it was like being on holiday lol, now we are as much in love but the dealing without side stuff sometimes  bit of a pain.

We are more steady in our approach to things well until we suddenly realised my ILR is coming up soon and the months are going by like days all of a sudden, neither of us feels any differently just more together and more secure with everything in our relationship and we love being part of each others life and the kids.

We are both settled I guess though Sonya does complain when I manage to quote the aadverts off TV word for word.

Indy

Well, I'm hoping it will mean an end to Trans-Atlantic visits for 10 days at a time 

We've been married so long now I don't remember what it was like before we were married. 

We didn't go through the "Mine + Yours = Ours" stage because due to what we do for a living, and because of how each of us lived prior to getting married, we never combined our finances. When it comes to money, we still keep it completely separate.

This, of course, is with the understanding that if one of us gets into financial difficulty, the other will have his/her back.

because of how each of us lived prior to getting married, we never combined our finances. When it comes to money, we still keep it completely separate.

same here.

I think rather than looking at marriage as something that changes the relationship, it is more that marriage is part of the evolution of the relationship. 

DH and I never forget the anniversary of the day we met but we frequently forget our wedding anniversary and I think we've only celebrated that one 2 or 3 times in the time we've been married.

Well, I'm hoping it will mean an end to Trans-Atlantic visits for 10 days at a time 

That it hopefully shall.   Not having to institute a countdown clock every few months or so was definitely a huge plus.

I agree on this one...I am fiercly independent and its hard to adapt to begin with.....and its difficult when you are relied on for everything...but its only to begin with...once they have found their feet a little and are more confident in their actions here... it no longer becomes a problem...and I becomes us!

I think I have become more accommodating... Less "me" and lots of "we"... Or at least I try to make more of an effort for that to be the case.

I know I'm dragging up an old post, but I really enjoyed reasing the responses so far and can empathize with some of them only 69 days into marriage myself. Feeling more secure and less like I have someone to impress (the in-laws included) is a big one for me. In fact, it's nice to know they like me just because they do and not because I'm doing something to make them like me.

Also...I'm the one making the coffee a lot more now that we're married. Hehe. :-P