American side of the family attending weddingin UK

Well , I have huge doubts that hubbys side of family will attend the wedding. I know it is the financial aspect for his brother and sister really understandable, but we have given people 18 months notice.

What is really getting to me , is that Hubby's dad, is very wealthy, wons his own business, that he no longer has to work in, just turn up when he wants to , so has the free time, but i have serious doubts that he will make the effort to be here for hubby, especially as we invited him to our little marriage the first time around and he did not show and that was 2 states away.

I am felling so aprehensivee and we have 17 months to go, i feel so bad for hubby knowing that they probably wont show. Ans it will be all my family and friends, and hoepfully som e friend she makes once he gets here for good early next year.

Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

I am from the US and my husband is British.  No-one from my family came.  I know there are others out there that share the same experience as well.

You can't get yourself worried sick over it for the next 17 months.  Basically just offer your love and support to you husband.  He has to come to grips with the fact that his father may never ever change.  I know I did. (my father's circumstances are very similar to your husband's and still he did not come for the wedding) It's hard and even though I think I've put it behind me I know that sometimes I still get sad.  I know my dad loves me in his own way but he will never ever change.  The most important thing is that you love your husband, and you will both be there on the day--that's all that really matters.

thanks for the reply, yes i suppose it is just going to be one of those things.

No one from my family came to my (most recent!) wedding... they dont have passports and dont see why they need to spend money to come to this vastly inferior country... because no place in the world could be as good as the US, and why the hell would i want to be marrying a foreigner anyway... especially one who doesn't even drive?!?! 

You get the idea.... 

Nobody from my family came to mine either and they were only a train ride away! We had 2 friends as witnesses and that was it but it didn't matter, it was still our special day.  Yours will be special too, no matter who comes or doesn't come. The place we got married had a webcam though so my inlaws were able to watch from the US.

im american dh is british, my family didnt know i was marrying;) so i didnt invite anyone....

My husbands father and his partner were the only ones who attended despite at least a dozen more saying that they would and then didn't.  These also included his Best Man who cancelled on us with 2 weeks to go.  My brother eventually filled in (and did a fine job!). 

I think he was a bit bothered in the run up to it, he had a few down moments, but on the day it didn't matter one iota and looking back he doesn't feel that his day was lacking any because people didn't come.

As others have said, only the two of you matter on the day

Thanks everyone for the replies, looks lie i am just going to get on with it, send the invites and not expect them to come, but it will be a pleasant surprise if they do.

We got married in the states - DH's mum, dad & sister were the only family that showed up & we gave them well over a year's notice of the wedding.     His best mate (whom he wanted as best man) "couldn't" come, so he had to ask another friend to do it (which him & his GF came over for the wedding) as well.  That was it for his friends & family from the UK.

We figured the people that mattered would be there to support us.  Plus, just think - it'll cut your wedding budget down a bit if less people come.   

More of my family and friends from the US came to our wedding here in the UK than DH's British family or friends.

None of my family came to our wedding in the UK (not even my parents).  It didnt really upset me at the time because i understood their reasoning but can't say I dont hold some resentment.  Regardless of who was there, it was a lovely ceremony on a lovely day and the best day of my life 

What about a small wedding with two receptions?  Or, like Charles and Diana, a tour of the colonies after the event?  I went with two formal weddings and receptions, but we had the cash to burn. And I already owned a wedding kimono...  But yeah, there was no way for most people to travel, and my US/CAN family are too scared to go to Japan.  Vice-versa for a lot of my Japanese family.

I think if you're posting about it here, it's bothering you somewhat.  So, hoping you find a solution that makes you happy!

This is a big reason why I just want a small wedding, immediate family only on the beach or something. I would feel very disappointed if some close family members, who I really wanted to be there, couldn't come.

It is still your day and try not to let it get you and your hubby down too much.

For me the wedding is in august at peak flight cost times in Germany (girl is German and we get to do it in a castle, yeah!).

I expect nearly none of my family to come. It is expensive. They HATE that I choose to live in another country. And they cannot understand other languages, customs, and driving on the other side of the road. I learn to not let it upset me.

As a compromise though, I promise them a party/reception their side of the pond whenever me and the lady fly over that way next (there is a reason to avoid the family! lol)

Had 3 people inform me on the same day that they wouldn't be able to attend my wedding in NJ....seems like Septempber isn't a great time, what with people already having had their holidays and the start of the school year.

Oh well....not going to let that bother me...my best friend and his partner said straight away that they'd be there, just prior to us announcing we were going to get married they'd said they hadn't decided where to go on holiday - we made their mind up for them that they'll be travelling on in the US after the wedding.