I watch too many romantic movies!

I dont think he would change his mind as much as I would just have to bring it up again, and I feel like I'm pressuring when I do that, but he has assured me that I am not, so it really isnt that big of a deal.
I suppose my mom can throw me a party if she really wants, but he wont be there obviously and she will still be disapointed that she didn't get to be part of a huge wedding. But... there is only so much I can do to protect her feelings and I will not have a wedding just for her. 
I guess only time will tell and actually I just realized that doing it after May wouldnt be a problem since I wont be able to take my dog until August/September anyway! 

I think we both just got excited and wanted to BE MARRIED sooner rather than later! Aww I'm feeling very lucky and loved right now and its pretty great

I think your wedding can be whatever you want it to be:) We made sure to make this wedding small so that it is for us and nobody else and I'm very glad we did.  But the only thing missing is my mom.  And I thought that it wouldn't be a big deal to me but it turns out it kinda is.  I would really really love to be able to share some of this with my family.  And it's possible that even if it's not important to you right now it may be when you move.  There are going to be a lifetime of events your not going to be able to share with them and trust me it does suck.  I'm being very candid here in saying but while moving here was the best thing I have ever done with my life.  Alan is the best man for me and will be a fantastic father to this baby that's making me crazy right now lol but no matter how great your life is here you will get homesick.
So maybe embrace it while it's available to you.  I know it's kind of annoying and you will feel pulled in a million direction but please trust me it's those memories that are going to get you through some dark moments and they will come I promise (not very often though )


So if you don't want it to be a big deal but still include your family (that you will soon be moving 4500 miles away from) Get married in CO and then go out to dinner with them or something small and intimate like that.  It could just be immediate family doesn't have to be 100 people you barely know.  And it probably is important to her becuase your her daughter and she loves you and saying goodbye is going to be very important for you both Just my thoughts though and quite possibly a dash of hormonal emotions

Oh, Carey.....whenever you need a vent, you know where to find me.

I kind of agree with Jamie here.  And yes, weddings ARE for other people.  If Ian and I had it our way, we'd get married, and just BE together...none of this other fuss that I've taken on and made a big deal because OTHER people want that sort of stuff.  But we're having a very small dinner the weekend after he and I get married at the courthouse (only about 25 people are able to come....and we only invited 31 people...so nothing huge at all).

But don't make the mistake I've done...lol.  I try and make decisions based on what I think Ian would like and wouldn't mind, and if I go ahead and do things, he gets a bit upset.

I'm sure you'll figure it out though.  I know it's rough after you're engaged and you just want to be married and be together.  It'll happen before you know it, my dear.. xx

Carey, how awesome!

I would vote with Patty...explain to your parents why you want/need to do the CO courthouse wedding, and that you'd be happy to go out to dinner with close friends/family to celebrate the event (or whatever you'd be happy doing).  That gives your mom the opportunity to throw as fancy a dinner as she'd like, brag about you to all her friends, and you get to keep everything small/low-key.

As for date, do you need to do it this spring, or could you do a long weekend around July 4 or Memorial Day and do it then?  Airfare may be cheaper farther out, and if you can't move until fall anyway, being married sooner doesn't seem required (though it's obviously cooler).

Thanks for the advice girls.  Honestly, the problem with doing it in Colorado is more than what I explained earlier - its just SO annoying to me when he is only here for a few days (we did a long weekend here once before) and everyone still thinks they need to spend time with him too.  And since my parents are divorced, its not just one meal with the parents... It would be like he flies in on Thursday night, is usually exhausted; then do the deed on Friday and would get forced into doing some family dinner Friday night; so we could spend Saturday together, but then would have dinner with my dad on Saturday night and then he goes home on Sunday... Oi. I dont like it. I'm claiming my right to be selfish, I think.
Memorial Day is when I will be in England, but July 4th is a good suggestion!  I could even take an extra day off then and we would have enough time to go to a place where the 24hour waiting period is in effect, and he could dress like Uncle Sam 

I did check flights to Vegas from London and there are no non-stop flights which leave on Thursdays (Virgin offers non-stop service, but not on Thursday!!?? and its like 1000 pounds). Whatever.   I also got really excited about maybe doing it somewhere in Europe while I am in England, but most countries have residency requirements.  Blech.  I hate weddings already  

On the bright side today:  I had my annual review and wasnt yelled at for my personal calls as I expected to be!!  I think its just b/c we got interupted at the end and she didnt have time, but that works for me.  Woo hoo. 

I take it your parents don't get along very well, Carey?  Hmmm...

My parents are divorced as well, so I know how rough it is to divide things up. 

And say IF David came out to CO and you two got hitched on that Friday, why would EVERYONE feel like they need to see him if say, you have a dinner for all your close family and friends?  Do you think your parents could be civil for one evening (mine never could, but now that they've been apart for awhile, they "deal with it" basically)?  And if you have the dinner, isn't that enough time for your friends to feel satisfied seeing David?  I mean, c'mon...they should HOPEFULLY understand that you only get so much time with him, they don't have to hog all his time..lol.

Morning everyone. Happy... Tuesday... is it REALLY only TUESDAY??? 

So it rained here this morning and all the desert rats who freak out in rain started getting in accidents and causing the freeways to be WAY slow. And of course, I didn't leave early like I knew I should have, so I was running late for work. I tried for 20 minutes to call over and over about 7 different people so someone could open up the front lobby but couldn't get to anyone!! So, 1- I'm really annoyed at myself for being late and I will probably get a repremand of some sort for it since I was recently warned about that, and 2- I'm also annoyed that even though I followed procedure and did everything I could to get the issue taken care of until I could get here, NO ONE was around. Grrr. I'm hoping that the rain caused enough people to be late so that they let it slide...?

Now I'm hungry because I didn't get my breakfast and didn't have time to get my coffee. Hoping everyone else is having a better day!!

Oops, I totally meant Labor Day, not Memorial Day...I always get those mixed up.

Anyway, I feel for you...my parents have done a pretty awesome job of being civil towards each other in general, so I don't have to worry about drama if I were to invite them both (+ spouses) to a gathering.  (Still, I always know they're basically just going through the motions, which makes it awkward.)  I wonder if you could phrase the invite to a small celebratory dinner in such a way that your parents would feel like jerks if they said no and/or said yes and screwed it up?  As in,

"Mom, Dad, we want to get married here in CO because there's less hassle/more time to hang out/whatever, and we know you would all like to celebrate this joyful event.  Instead of buying us a blender [that probably wouldn't work there anyway] or a set of His/Her towels, we would love if your wedding gift to us could be for both of you to join us at this dinner, and for it to be pleasant and drama-free.  I know this may be a challenge for you, but it would mean a lot to both of us."

And then just invite everyone else who'd want to hang out with you and/or David to that dinner, explain that the rest of the weekend is the only honeymoon you get (whether or not that's true), and politely refuse all other demands on your/his time.

You could also just invite people to come visit you in England once you move...automatic excuse to travel abroad!  If they want to spend time with you and David, they can shell out the dough and do it on your terms.

Ugh Chi that sucks!!  But, it does seem like the rain cause trouble for more people than just you, so hopefully no reprimanding is in your future. 

Equestrian - my parents are civil towards eachother, but my dad is very uncomforable around my mom's family more so than her, so I wouldnt want to put him through that.  I think we are leaning towards canceling/postponing my trip to England sadly, but in the end, it will be worth it obviously. I seriously had no idea this would cause such issue!!  No wonder marriage rates are declining so much - its not a lack of love, its people being smart and not wanting to deal with the stress!!    AND, you bring up another point - IF we have a party of somekind, we are going to have to walk the ethical line of only asking for money (since for some reason getting married makes people need to buy you stuff) and we dont want to take STUFF and even gift cards will generally not cross over since the stores dont exist in England.  Ugh. 

Favourite word of the day: ELOPE!  Maybe Peaches Geldoff had the right idea anyway (although they got divorced already, I think...)

OOOOooooo ladies so freaking busy this week and all I feel like doing is sleeping in the minutes I have between rushing to the toilet lol.  So I took my first proper driving lesson today, oh my.  The roads and bridges are SO small.  It's crazy!! Then tonight we are going out to dinner with the family (nice but exhausting hehe) and then tomorrow Alan surprised me with tickets to a Man U game wooowhooo!!!! I can't wait to go see that gonna be GREAT! Let's see what else...oh ya 1st baby appointment on Thursday YAY:)

I jsut had to catch up on nine pages. LOL

sorry I've been away.

Jamie - CONGRATULATIONS! YAY!

Mirra - Check Delaware. yeah, it's a sucky state, but I don't think they have waivers and you could fly into philly and take the train down to Wilmington.  Or Maryland?  Not sure.

Anyway. I haven't been around much because we've been busy - We spent a long weekend in Newcastle and then came home to find out Tim's desktop has gone kaput, so I had to sepnd hours recovering it for him.

Then, Valentine's Day. Oh, let's not talk about this.  I still don't have a gift from Tim and he claims it's because he "can't go shopping" without me.  Darn it, he knows what I want and it doesn't require a trip to a store!  But anyway.

I've also not been posting because I've been gettin really upset with some of my so-called friends.  I'm really tired of their jealousy.  Apparently my not being around is a huge deal and two of my friends have decided that I am "playing house" or "playing housewife" - and the one had the nerve to say that she "works all day and takes care of a HUSBAND" (we won't get into how she doesn't actually take care of him at all) and I've just been really upset over it because it makes me wonder how many other people think this isn't real just because Tim and I haven't gotten married yet?  And at least three of my friends poke me on facebook practically daily to ask me if he's asked me to marry him yet.  ARGH!


And of course, I need to plan my flight home in March, and I'm really not happy about having to leave Tim until July.  I'd feel better if I knew when I was moving to the UK, but until Tim feels ready to get engaged, I don't feel as though we can really discuss the options.

On the other hand, I surprised Tim with a heartshaped cake and decorated the door with valentine's and he really liked it.  I posted photos of our trip on facebook for those of you who added me there.  (and if you haven't, you can search for me by my email address which is my username here 79 at gmail. (does that make sense?)

I'm sorry Anna! It's true that unless you're in an LDR like this, you can't really understand what it's like. Sometimes friends or family members can be harsh or quick to judge, but its not their life or their relationship so try to not let them get to you.

Well, good news everyone! I got my passport back last night, only 2 weeks and 2 business days after I sent it in with my name change! I'm so glad I didn't spend the extra $100 to get it expedited. DH didn't believe me that it would come back so quickly, so I have yet to receive all of his documents for the visa application. As soon as I get those, I can compile our items and apply for the visa. CRAZY!! I'm excited, but kindof sad and scared that it's actually all happening. I'm moving to England for real. And leaving my family and everything familiar. And we'll be broke as hell!  Oy vey.

Ugh Anna - I, too, am sorry about the rude comments from your "friends".  I have noticed that people's jealousy comes out in strange ways.  You are on a mega-adventure and super happy and they are in their "regular" lives and probably are jealous and/or upset that you are that happy WITHOUT them if they were the people you spent a lot of your time with back home.  Try not to let it get to you.  Oh, and re: Valentine's Day - I didnt get anything either.  What-ev.   Sorry that your trip is coming to an end, but March - July is really not that long in the grand scheme of things - it will go by quickly since you will have so much "catching up" to do with friends and family back home.

Jamie - I cannot believe you DROVE.  I am soooo proud of you. Just the thought puts butterflies in my stomach!   I'm afraid that we cannot be friends anymore b/c I am just too jealous about your MAN U GAME! OMG thats awesome!   Please give a full report when you can!!

Chi - Woo hoo for your passport! That is quick!  Is he sending the visa docs stuff ASAP?  I hope that your happiness still outweighs the fear you are feeling.  Remind me again, where in England will you be?

March - July is really not that long in the grand scheme of things

I second that. Is it sad that now I think "oh 4 months isn't THAT long"... well, better than the days I would agonize over every day spent apart. I've gotten much used to that by now.

He should be sending his docs ASAP. He's the type you constantly have to remind to do something so I feel like a nag any time I need him to get something done. But at this point its his fault if he complains about me not being there yet. I am very excited and anxious about getting there. So many mixed emotions. I know it will be very difficult, but very rewarding. I'll be up in/around Leeds.

Yeah, you're right. It's really not that long....I just don't want to think about it until it happens.

I think the problem with my friends is that they are used to me pretty much being at their beck and call 24/7 via phone or IM, and now I'm only really on when Tim's at work. Still, though. Way to alienate me from wanting to see them once I get home, you know?