I watch too many romantic movies!

 And I THINK, from what I've read here, they look more at his finances than yours.  

Patty is right.  They dont really care too much about how much money YOU having coming in, they are much more interested at how much the current UK citizen has assuming that he (or she) is the one who is settled and already responsible for housing and such.  The addition of one person changes household finances and budget very little.  I was even told to not worry about providing a CV or potential job opportunities b/c they wont care if he makes enough to support us both.

I would really like to start a 365 blog actually, but they've blocked a lot of internet sites at work now and blogs are included in that. So I can't even update our personal one. Then by the time I get home I'm so sick of the computer that I can't be bothered.

We are kindof seeing how long it takes for the whole process to work out. I am doing my name change first, so I'm waiting for my SSC to come back still with my new name. Then I have to change my drivers license and then renew my passport. THEN, if we have enough savings and all of our paperwork together we will apply for the visa. We're thinking some time in February - which really isn't that far away - which is good and bad, because it's not that much time to save or get everything together, but it still seems very far away. Truthfully, I think it will end up being more like March or April till I get over there. And I kind of hope they look more at my finances anyway! Because he is a student, he has an overdraft, so any money he does have in his account doesn't really look like he has any. We will be including a letter to explain this situation, but I'm not looking forward to that part! I will be the primary income earner there as soon as I find a job so I will be getting in touch with Agencies, etc. before even going over to show in the visa application... fun stuff, I know.

Patti- Sweetie I completely understand the miscommunication with chat and email...believe me I have been thru that before with Jason...you just can't get your feelings across properly or one person misreads what the other wrote...or in your case he somehow thought you were ingnoring him...why the heck would he even think that...and if he did why didn't he pick up the phone and call you...I know right where you are coming from and it is very frustrating and upsetting...but we are here so you can vent to us and we all understand...just keep thinking a few more months and then you will be with him...if you don't end up strangling him first...because you have to remember he is a boy and most boys aren't bright...lol just kidding...we love them to death and they drive us crazy...I am here if you need to vent or yell or cry or whatever lady....

Carey you still aren't feeling well...that isn't good...you have to get yourself better...it was nice of David's friend to compliment your chest lol...

Chi chi I also understand what you are going thru...I have been in that state since I got refused entry....it is strange to come back to the place where I was born and raised where my family and friends are and everything should be familiar...and it doesn't feel like home anymore..it feels like I am just visiting...I have no interest in the normal things I used to do...I was just kind of coasting until I could get to be with Jason...my job that I loved offered it back to me in Sept when they heard I was home until I leave again...and I love my job and didn't know how I was going to leave it last time...but this time it doesn't matter...I love what I do but I know there are other things outside of work that I would rather be doing..and I don't think the men understand how this affects us...and our thought process...we can't just get over it...we are more emotional then them...

Jamie good luck on your driver's test...you are brave for learning to drive over there lol
Are you and Alan doing ok?

Beth how is it going today?

I wrote my letter last night 6 pages and then I went into work early this morning and rewrote it in better handwriting...it talked about how I felt when we met...all the fun things we have done all the things we have been thru and all the bad things we have been thru the past 6 months. I asked questions about why he never called me? Was he just planning on ignoring me? I also told him I am breaking off our engagement because I can't keep living my life like this. I deserve more. If he reads the letter and thinks he made a mistake I said you know where to find me. I told him I would wait about 2 weeks before I tell our families and such and before I cancel anything just in case he decides to talk to me...I told him I am going to send the ring to him and asked him to box up my stuff and send it back to me. So as of right now I am single...and it feels strange and I am numb...I do feel like I have lost my heart. But at the same time I feel better putting down how I felt. It was cathartic...I sent it in a card I found at hallmark that talks about breaking up and still loving that person...Now here is the strange thing that happened today...My cell phone rang this afternoon at about 7:30pm UK time 2:30 pm eastern time...it was the number that pops up when Jason or his mom calls me. I didn't notice the number at first I just answered my phone and said hello and the person hung up. I then looked at the number and saw what number it was...so I don't know if his mom was trying to call me or was it Jason calling to leave a message...I have no clue...it was just odd...but the letter is already out in the mail and my mind is made up. If he decides to stop being a dolt and wants to talk to me and wants to be with me...he has to prove it to me. He needs to come over here and see me face to face...no matter how much I love him and how easy it would be to just go back with him ...he put me thru hell and he will have to work for it...

Good for you Josy!! I'm so proud of how strong you are being. Keep us updated and let us know if you need anything. I'm intrigued by that phone call... hmmm. It sounds like you're doing the right thing though, so take heart in that and stay strong.

Oh Josy....I can't even begin to think what you must be going through right now...I'm so so sorry.  Reading your post made me cry.  I'm not sure what I would have done if Alan would have just stopped talking.  I am so proud of you for standing up to yourself and being so strong about it....

Any man who you are supposed to MARRY should be willing to talk to you about what is going on in his own head, it's so f'ing ridiculous, and it should not be happening to you.  You have been 100 percent devoted and you deserve better than what your getting.  Again I'm so proud of you....I'm not sure I would have the strength.  Good for you:)

Stay strong hun!!

well I have some stranger news the the phone call hang up...I got a text message out of the blue tonight while I was having dinner with my parents...he asked if I was going to be online. I went online because I had a few things I had to say and who knows when I would get the chance again. Well we talked and I asked questions and he answered some. But he said he is sending me a long email first thing tomorrow. He said in it he will explain why he didn't talk to me...and other things that have been bothering him. Maybe not necessarily about me but our situation. He wants me to read it over and then he wants to know my thoughts on it..and then he wants to know if from that we can have a phone conversation and try to salvage our relationship...I didn't commit to anything. I just said that I would read the email and give him my thoughts and we would go from there. I did tell him a few times how miserable the past 6 weeks have been...and how I felt and how he made me feel by not talking to me...I asked him why he couldn't send me an email to tell me he didn't want to talk or he was upset...he said he was too worked up at the time and he will explain all that in the email...I said I never even heard from him at Christmas or New Year...he said "I sent you an email" I said you sent me a generic friend email...I am your fiance...he did admit that he didn't have the heart to open the christmas present I gave him because of what was going on with us. So he never even opened it. So we did talk about things here and there. He did admit he loves me and he is frustrated....I told him that LDR is a stressful thing...and especially what we have gone thru. But it is no excuse for him not to talk to me at all...I told him I love him but after what we went thru I am a little hesitant...I asked him when he is going to come visit? He said he will address that all in the email. He said he will have the email for me when I wake up in the morning...I told him I would read it and then we will pick a time and day to talk about it. If I agree with the email he sent. I don't know what it is going to say...Could my life get any more complicated right now? It will be nice to finally get some answers. I am a little relieved I have heard from him..but I am still mad...and I am still stressed out..and he still needs to come see me face to face and talk to me in person to make up for this past holiday...if he is really serious about us....so the soap opera continues...I will keep you updated....

Jaime and Chi chi thanks for the support and I want to thank all the wonderful ladies and man in this room for their support...I love you guys...I am going to bed I am emotionally exhausted

We should title is "As Josy's World Turns"....but I know what you mean by feeling like your life is a soap opera, hon.

You know where/how I stand on all this, so I won't go into detail here, but I WILL hope things work out for you, because I know how you feel about Jason.  It'll be rough at first....your relationship won't automatically go back to the roses and cotton candy it was, but if you two work on it together, it'll be fabulous for you.

So how is everyone else doing today??  How are the colds, hearts, and heads holding up?

We're supposed to get our regular DSL connection back today.  Thank GOD because I miss seeing Ian fall asleep while I'm talking to him because he just can't stay awake anymore.  He and I talked for more than 20 minutes for the first time in about a week yesterday, and it was lovely (mind you, by talking I mean type chatting...still not the same, but better than nothing).  I had terrible separation anxiety once again when he went to bed.  If he's awake enough I'll get to speak to him tonight....if not, tomorrow.  I told him "Another reason why I want the distance to end-even if you're tired, I would still get to see you."

Hope everyone has a nice day!  xxx

Josy - I hope things look up for you soon and Jason realizes what a moron he was being. Tim and I had a long talk when we started dating about communication - because in the past he would spend weeks offline depending on his shift schedule and one time I went 2 months without talking to him, and we agreed that he'd make the effort to get online at least every three days or send me a text to let me know he was okay. He would give me his work schedule each week so I could work out the times to make sure  I was available to talk to him...and it worked out pretty well.  The only time we didn't talk was when he was on holdiay in Serbia right before my visit here started.  I recieved texts from him whenever he could get signal, but I knew in advance he'd be unreachable.  Personally, I am in awe of you for lasting 6 weeks with no contact!  You're a very stong woman Josy!

chi chi -  Let me know how long it takes for all the name changes to go through?  I'm considering that this is the route Tim and I will have to take after we get married in order to make sure my married name is on everything...to make a long story short, I don't like my last name and I don't want to have to use it on anything - even my passport/visa after Tim and I get married. 

I got a christmas box from my mom the other day - she sent along my new iPod touch and 18 DVDs - an even mix of "chick flicks" for me while Tim's at work, and some cheesy 80s movies for Tim and I to watch together.  Good thing I figured out how to hack Tim's DVD player!  I think she's finally realized that I will be moving here at some point permanently, and I think she's getting okay with it.

We have a visiting schedule in place (sort of) for 2009 and 2010, which makes me happy. I know that if we get engaged the schedule will obviously change, but for now, i'm happy with knowing I'll see him in July, visit in September with my mom, and then head back over for afew months in 2010.  I also realized when I calculated my 6 months on the visa waiver, I miscalculated and we have an extra month I didn't think I had!

Patty, I know exactly what you mean and it's one of the reasons I really don't want to go back home.  I know that when I get home I'll be depressed...and feel like I don't belong. I spent 2 months in Canada in Aug and Sept, was home for 2 weeks, and have been here since.  That's practically 6 months total away....I know I don't belong there anymore. 

Good morning all!

Carey, I think I caught your cold!! I have that stinging in the back of my nose/throat and I'm doing everything I can to fight it off. grrr. I just got over a cold like two weeks ago!!

We should title is "As Josy's World Turns"....

haha. I can't wait to find out what happens on today's episode!! I too have definitely had my soap opera moments Josy, so you're not alone. Hope you're holding up okay today.

Well it's morning again. I really am thankful for my job and that I actually have one and it's really easy going. But GEEZ I just get so bored!! And it doesn't help that DH is irritating me. I love him to death, but sometimes I just think he needs to grow up and be more responsible. I'm not his mother! In good news, I did 20 minutes of Wii Fit last night (hey, it's better than nothing!) and my nail polish is still in pretty good shape when I painted them on Sunday!! Super excited about that. Drives me crazy when they chip a day after I paint them. But I think I've got it down now.

K, gonna do my 5 minutes of actual work for the morning.

Hey Ladies!! Glad to hear everyone is in good spirits today!

So Alan is on a pool league, and right after I got here...literally the next day...I went with him.  Well it was right before Christmas so a couple of the boys actually brought their wives along, not sure if it was for Christmas really or they wanted to see invading American..either way.  I befriended one of the wives named Sharon, who happens to live about 2 blocks away from us.  So here we are Wednesday again and back to his pool nights out.  I've been kind of dreading going only because there is really nothing for me to do seeing as how the wives usually don't come and he is playing there would be nobody for me to talk to.  Anyway, I texted her today and I am going to her house to drink wine while the boys are out! WOOWHOOO it's my first night out without him and I'm kind of excited.  Not to be away from him obviously but to feel comfortable doing something on me own. 

So.....to celebrate my night I offered to bring the wine.  I packed up Jack (our dog) got all bundled up and set off this afternoon.  AND EVERYTHING WENT GREAT!! I wasn't scared not even once!!! I went to the post office and sent something to the states and it was the first time I've done anything and not had some snooty person behind the counter:) And then went to the liquor store and then took the long way home.  HAHAHA I know it sounds so stupid but I'm so excited that this is the first time I've been out and not felt weird or anxious about it.  It was lovely!!!!

Alright retardedness over hehe

Josy!!! That is good that he is at least saying something! Finally jeez.  I was thinking about you today, and tthought what a great person I think you are to have been so patient.  I on the other hand would not have been at all.. ..I would have been fed up and DONE without a second thought...mostly because I'm just insecure.  But I think it really shows your devotion and commitment to him and I hope he sees that too:) So good luck today

omg Jamie even if that may sound silly to others, I am SO PROUD of you - like we talked about on the phone, I totally get the not feeling comfortable doing things by yourself, so WOO!!  Please let us know how the night out goes.. its a milestone occasion to be doing your "own" thing and I hope its tons-o-fun!   

Josy, I am dying to hear about what Jason's email said!  I hope he comes up with SOMETHING that may even come close to explaining why he's been the worst fiance in the universe recently.  My advice: hear him out even if it doesnt make sense or isnt "good" enough when you first read it.  Take heed that whatever he needs to say is clearly difficult for him to say, and it may not all come out crystal clear the first time he tries to say it.  *positive thoughts headed to you*

Becca, do you have a date when you are going home..er should I say "leaving England"? It feels great to have future plans, doesnt it?

Chi chi, what do you do for work?  And congrats on the nail polish, I feel your frustration there!

Hey there. Just another day at school. Giving a school-wide "reading checkpoints test" in all my classes today, so since it's the beginning of the semester, I have no grading to do! Woohoo! And I've already got my plans for the next few days done. I'll be working on new seating charts for the kids later. Yippee! Oh, and playing around on the internet! Yippee!

Got up and ran this morning and now I'm so sleepy! LOL Unfortunately, it's a long day for me, since I'll be at the running shop after school. And on top of it, my internet at home suddenly stopped working with my NEW wireless modem while I was out running. No idea what happened, but I won't be able to deal with it till after 7 tonight. Greeeeaaaat.

Chi_chi- good job getting that DVD out! It really helps if you plan a time in advance (at least for me). That way it's scheduled just like any other thing you do.

Jamie! Awesome!! Glad you had a good day. Have fun at the wine do. Mmmmm... wine. Could go for a glass now. At school, though, so it will have to wait till dinner tonight!

becca- I want the new Touch or iphone! I'm holding off till I move (hopefully!) since I need to save, not spend.. jealous, though!

Patty- that's funny what you say about watching Ian fall asleep! Very sweet, actually.

Josy- have you got the email yet? Any news? Stay strong, girl!!

Ok, time to eat lunch. Chow, uh, ciao!

Watching your other half sleep is the best part of an ldr hehehe you just have to get used to sleeping with the lights on....and snoring is easily fixed by simply turning down the volume:) it's great hahahhaha

I've never watched David sleep when we are apart, but I do like to give his chest hairs a tug if he falls asleep whilst watching TV or something when we are together

hahahaha mmmmmm chest hair ...LOL