Sorry, I don't want to be your Facebook Friend!

My high school class just had its 30th reunion.  I went to a small high school in Montana and there were 34 of us who graduated together.  I moved there when I was a freshman, but most of the class had started kindegarten together and so they were a tight knit group, and I can understand their nostalgia.    However, I just don't have the same connection.  I never lived in the town after I left for university and my parents no longer live there.  I have one person that I have stayed in touch with from that class (truly a BFF!) and she does not live in the area either.

Well, now I have a bunch of old classmates (and people who were years ahead and behind my graduating class) asking to be friends on Facebook.  This going to sound harsh, but I don't really want to add them to my Facebook list.  Is that so wrong?    These are people that I really only had the most tenuous of relationships with over 30 years ago and have not spoken to since.  I have already ignored a couple but they keep popping up again asking to be friends.  Why is this making me feel guilty?

You can set your profile that it can't be searched...then people can't ask you to be friends?

Why is this making me feel guilty?

Most people don't want to seem mean. We're kinda conditioned that way. And rejecting someone's overture of friendship seems really harsh. Even if it is just facebook friendship.

You're probably juts venting more than anything, but if the guilt's really getting to ya, you can always add them and then set the privacy setting so they don't see any of your profile. Otherwise, just keep ignoring them. You're not interested, not obligated to be interested and they'll eventually get the message. Hopefully.

You can set your profile that it can't be searched...then people can't ask you to be friends?

I don't want to do that because I have connected with some friends through Facebook and that has been great.  But those were people with whom I actually had a real friendship, so I don't want to cut it off entirely.

Mort is right, I was mostly just venting!     But I did not realise that you could control what a "facebook friend" could see.  I thought once you "friended" them that they could see everything?  How do you adjust who sees what?

I don't want to do that because I have connected with some friends through Facebook and that has been great.  But those were people with whom I actually had a real friendship, so I don't want to cut it off entirely.

Mort is right, I was mostly just venting!     But I did not realise that you could control what a "facebook friend" could see.  I thought once you "friended" them that they could see everything?  How do you adjust who sees what?

Settings --> Privacy --> Profile

I don't want to do that because I have connected with some friends through Facebook and that has been great.  But those were people with whom I actually had a real friendship, so I don't want to cut it off entirely.

FB is (finally) setup so that you can filter by specific people.

So if you create a friend list called, say, "High School People", you can then specify in your privacy settings that anyone in that group cannot see your profile info, but everyone else can.  Then you just add those people you don't care about to that list and they're automatically restricted.

You can also make your facebook profile invisible to certain people. If/When they search for you, your profile won't come up and you can't see their profile either.

Settings --> Privacy Settings --> Block List.

Heh!  I had a friend request when I got home from work tonight from someone that I was like 'well who the heck is that?!'  After looking into it further, it was someone who used to work at the same company as I did in St Pete (FL) - but who I hardly knew!  I am FB friends so far with a couple of my better mates back there - whom I lost touch with after moving over, and she is apparently friends with them too.  I am sure she is a lovely person, it looks like she is retired now, but...??  I feel mean not friending her, but at the same time it's like - uh, I don't really even know you.

 

My 4th sisters best friend who I cant stand but just tolerate her for my sisters sake. sent me a request I denied her I wish I had known about the block privacy thing cause I know when we go home for our next visit she will ask me why I didn't add her. My mom thinks she is the nicest thing since sliced bread my mom considers her as 1 of her daughters just that she was adopted into the family.    

My 4th sisters best friend who I cant stand but just tolerate her for my sisters sake. sent me a request I denied her I wish I had known about the block privacy thing cause I know when we go home for our next visit she will ask me why I didn't add her. My mom thinks she is the nicest thing since sliced bread my mom considers her as 1 of her daughters just that she was adopted into the family.    

I have a stock answer for this: "Google spammed your add request!" Prove me a liar!

I have a stock answer for this: "Google spammed your add request!" Prove me a liar!

Sweet thanks!! 

Why not just go ahead and add them, then after a few weeks, delete them? As far as I know, Facebook doesn't inform people when you delete them as a friend, they just can't see your profile any longer. Chances are, if they're people you're not very close to, then they won't visit your profile/read your updates very often anyway and won't even notice. Harsh, I know, but it works.

My 4th sisters best friend who I cant stand but just tolerate her for my sisters sake. sent me a request I denied her I wish I had known about the block privacy thing cause I know when we go home for our next visit she will ask me why I didn't add her. My mom thinks she is the nicest thing since sliced bread my mom considers her as 1 of her daughters just that she was adopted into the family.    

I've had that happen before. I just looked confused and said "OMG, I didn't get it...are you sure you sent it? I totally don't remember seeing it. Maybe fb malfunctioned?"

Why not just go ahead and add them, then after a few weeks, delete them? As far as I know, Facebook doesn't inform people when you delete them as a friend, they just can't see your profile any longer. Chances are, if they're people you're not very close to, then they won't visit your profile/read your updates very often anyway and won't even notice. Harsh, I know, but it works.

If they're anything like me, they will notice when someone defriends them.  I always do.   

My sister's friend just sent a friend request to me - I have never heard of nor met this person!  I thought it was a mistake so I refused her.  Then I told my sister and she was upset about it. 

My weird Facebook adds for the day:

The guy I had a crush on when I was 12.  Okay, his mom and I are FB friends (because she was close to my dad), but it was so funny when I saw the request. And of course I added him.  I mean, we were friends....I just also had a huge crush on him (and he knew it!).

Also, my friend's best friend.  I've never met him, but I've chatted with him in an AIM chatroom something like 7 years ago.  I barely even talk to the girl anymore, let alone her best friend!