Calling all Britwives!!

I thought it was about time this 'ere 'spouse house' saw some action as it has been rather quiet of late. Also in the past, it has tended to be the domain of Brit husbands/male partners - which is totally understandable cause the rest of the board is dominated by their US wives/female partners.

Anyhow, I have noticed a few more British women on the boards lately so thought it would be nice if we all say hi to each other and swap stories on our experiences with our US halves.  It is true that the one relocating has the biggest adjustment to make, but if you are the one who hasn't moved, helping your partner to assimilate can also be challenging.   

I'll start, although if you've been around UKY for a while you have probably read this all on other posts of mine.

Met my Orange County husband Stu online August 2002. He moved over here May 2003 and we got married August 2003 and now we have a baby due ... in about 3 weeks! I found UKY when I was trying to find some of his favourite US food online and I'm glad I did - it really helped ME a lot to know other Americans who have relocated have had similar experiences to him and we have both really enjoyed meeting up with everyone at various UKY dinners etc

Interested to hear others' experiences of their partner's move over here ... how it has changed YOUR life. I must say I never expected that some of my friends would be so anti American that I barely have anything to do with them any more - on the other hand my parents think it is all wonderful - think they are envisaging spending their waning years in some California suntrap ! 

Thought it would be a good idea to make this one sticky and keep it at the top of the spouse house

I know this is an old topic, but I'm a Brit wife.   I married my husband in Oct 2000 in the States and we lived in Texas (near DFW metroplex) for just over two years before coming home.  I have quite a good understanding od living so far away from family, but he handles it very differently.  While I was teary with homesickness and talked to my family weekly, he tends to be quiet and non-communicative, and rarely phones home unless I prompt him.

He appears to have made adjustments well, though, and has quite taken to British beers, lagers and bitters.

Hi Anig! Nice to meet you. Glad to hear your hubby has adjusted well - funny, lager has played a big part in my husband's settling in as well

It's reassuring to know that it's not just expat paranoia that there's strong anti-Americanism here. For the first year or so I was here, my husband told me it was all in my head. Now, four-and-a-half years later, he resents the anti-American bias as much as I do: "Half these a--holes have never even BEEN to the States," etc. And even my in-laws are sick of it.

It's reassuring to know that it's not just expat paranoia that there's strong anti-Americanism here. For the first year or so I was here, my husband told me it was all in my head. Now, four-and-a-half years later, he resents the anti-American bias as much as I do: "Half these a--holes have never even BEEN to the States," etc. And even my in-laws are sick of it.

While I would agree to there being some anti-Americanism here (as there is anti-anything in every country), I would hope that it is only expressed by the minority.  Certainly my family, friends and colleagues have never expressed any, and neither has my husband come up against it in his current job.

He experienced some when he first arrived - from a job recruiter, believe it or not, but I soon put a stop to that.

As I mentioned above we have encountered some anti Americanism amongst a few of my friends.  My flatmate at the time when I met Stu was aghast that I would want to be with someone  with "that accent" (and this from a girl who had quite a number of Australian friends!) - that plus her general behaviour towards him (she actually told him he is not welcome here!) means that I'm no longer in touch with her.  People like that are the minority loony fringe though.  There have been a few other incidents of misunderstandings on both sides, it did not help that people automatically assume all Americans support George Bush and are pro the troops in Iraq. (This is NOT an invitation for a political debate by the way - that can be saved for another thread;) )  Also a few idiotic comments, like my old boss when she heard I had a new BF who was American was rather concerned that he might have a gun and suggested I make a surreptitious search of his apartment to make sure he didn't have one hidden away somewhere!?!

AniG it's good to hear that your husband hasn't had any problems, especially work related. My husband was hoping to get into sports journalism here which he did extremely successfully in the US for years but there appears to be an underlying assumption that an American knows nothing about British sport that is hard to get past.

Having said all that, Stu has settled in pretty well and has made plenty of Brit friends - and I don't just mean my friends, he has made an effort to get to know people where we live, he loves our local pub where he is truly treated as a local.

hi girls !  i'm susie & i met my husband online in a chatroom lol, we've been married nearly 3 yrs, (we got married in texas) he's from texas & i'm from kent, i find ppl either love him or loathe him lol, those that dont like him say its cos he's too loud, whoever heard of a quiet texan ? i ask u ? lolol, what he misses is other guys to talk football with (american football that is) i havent a clue what the game's about, despite him trying to explain it over & over, but then again, i dont like english footie either ! & dont have much clue about that either lol, we live in a small village & u can just imagine the look on their faces when i brought home a 6ft 2 guy wearing a stetson & cowboy boots ! lmao, well, actually i INSISTED he did, i love to shake this lot of boring villagers up (its the devil in me lol) i think at 1st they thought he was messing about when he kept saying  "yes maam" &  "yes sir" but now they realise thats just the way he is.
when we met online we were just so in tune with one another, & that remains the same, if not even more so, we seem to know what the other is thinking & often say things exactly at the same time.
i'm glad there are other brit wives here, ive looked on other sites, but in the main it tends to be the american women that move to the uk & not so many of the men, mabbe the women, are in general, braver than the men ! lol........food has been a toughie, altho he will eat more or less anything, but he does have his favourite meals (from the states) but as he's a cook it hasnt been that bad, what we find most difficult to get is the sugar free stuff, theres just such a huge range of it in texas, makes the uk range look paltry.....oh i forgot to say that hubby is a diabetic, which is why we need the sugar free stuff.........anyhow, i'm babbling on now........nice to meet u all.........love susie xx

Hi Susie, stetson and cowboy boots eh? Yes I can imagine he would have stod out in those! Look forward to hearing more from you,
Liz

Thought I would pop in and say hi to you all .. I'm a brit wife, still living in USA at the moment and planning to move back to UK end of May !! (yaaaaaaaaaa).

I know its not going to be easy - for a start we have no money, no jobs and nowhere to live yet.....the plan is for me to come back, get a job and somewhere to live and then put in for hubby's visa and get him over asap.

Its really scary to be honest and we are going to have to sell everything that we have - so when I step of that plane, it will be two suitcase to my name (eeeeek).

Pauline

Good luck Pauline and welcome back to the Uk.

Hi, my name's Aquila.   

 I just wanted to say a quick hello and introduce myself to the board, even though technically I'm not a Brit wife just yet (roll on December!). I met my Gorgeous fiancé Raul  through an online group. I definitely wasn't looking for love at the time, but there was just something about him, right from the start. It's hard to explain really.  Anyway,  two and a half years later we're engaged and just a matter of  months away from tying the knot here in the UK.

I can't say he cares much for the beer, but he does seem to have taken a liking to Guinness (thanks to my dad). Food however, I don't think our food is going to win him over anytime soon... I keep threatening him with faggots and spotted dick! lol
 
A pic Me and Raul with my Grandfather at the local pub watching WBA FC.

Hi Aquila! Welcome to the board.

Hi and welcome from me too - I am a Britwife too, I don't think I've seen this thread before and I just woke up so I'll come back later!

You must be getting very excited and this will be a winter wedding - come on, we want details!
Love your name

 Thank you  It's a family name.  As for actual details, well, we'll be getting married on the 3rd of december at Midday, which falls on a Saturday. It's not going to be a big wedding, just a registry office ceremony with close friends and family to share the day with us. I have two bridesmaids, my six year old niece and my sister. Two pageboys, my eight year old nephew and little brother John, who's seven. I don't want to say what the dresses are like because my fiancé uses this board and I'm trying  to keep it a surprise for the big day. But the Colour scheme for the wedding and reception decor is going to be red and cream/off white... maybe a little gold too and the men (and pageboys) are going to being wearing tuxedos.  I can't wait to see Raul in his, he's going to look soooo handome.

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am, I feel like a little kid on Christmas eve.