IO's and all the back and forth

Hey, I think this is the right forum, but am a bit new.  I’m also pretty sure this has already been discussed, so being pointed to an old thread would make me perfectly happy.

My boyfriend (UKC) is coming here (NYC) to visit me over Christmas and New Years for five weeks.  This will be his third time in the US in 2010.  He came for 10 days last January and then 10 days at the end of August/beginning of September.  He’s been getting more and more detailed questioning and it was at its height last time as he put my address on his entrance form (can’t remember the name of it) instead of a hotel.  He has a job in the UK and brings proof of that, but hesitates telling the IO that he’s here to visit me. 

The reason for that is during one of my trips to the UK (for three weeks) I mentioned that I would be visiting him and almost didn’t get in the country.  Since then I’ve only been back once, and just told the IO that I was there to shop.  I’m worried about my next entry into the UK in about 50 days as well.  This time will only be for a week and I do have a job and my own place and all that good stuff, I didn’t have either for my last two entries. 

So how do you deal with the multiple entries?  We don’t want to lie, but feel like we are sort of forced into it. 

You arent being forced into anything. DO NOT lie - its the easiest way to cause trouble for you and your BF in the future if either of you decide to emmigrate. If he has proof of a job and reason to return to the UK there is no reason to refuse him entry.   And the same for you when you go to the UK. 

You have already lied to an IO once, dont make a pattern of it.

I agree with what was said above- There is no need to come up with new reasons every time you enter.  I entered the UK 5 times in one year to visit the BF and that was my reason every time. "I'm visiting my boyfriend" and my 5 previous visa stamps proved I went home when I said I was, so why lie?

I did a lot of back and forth travel to see Mr. K before my move here.  I was fortunate enough to have a job that required some travel to England 2 or 3 times a year, as well as my personal visits.

If my flight was paid by my company, I always said I was coming on business.  If the flight was paid by me, I said I was coming on holiday.  I always came in with return tickets and never overstayed the visa waiver limits. I always stayed with Mr. K on both the business and personal visits, and I always put his address on the landing card.  In all matters, I was truthful, but never over-shared.  I never spent more than 90 seconds going through passport control.   

Offering this info up as a point of discussion, really.  What is wrong with the OP just telling the IO that she is coming to the UK for a holiday?  Some people come on a holiday for the scenery, some for the history, some to see family.  I would not deny the presence of a boyfriend if questioned further, but it seems to me that being economical with the details is not any less honest. 

When I said I was visiting friends about a year ago and he questioned me further and I mentioned boyfriend I ended up in a little room with a guy basically yelling at me that I was going to stay in the country illegally.  It was all highly unpleasant. 

When I replied that I was shopping last time, I didn't lie really.  I spent and amazing amount of time shopping as the pound was at its lowest level ever.  She didn't ask about who I was staying with or anything like that. 

My concern is my Brit, who has already begun to get the 9th degree from IO's, having a lot of problems come December as he will be staying for 5 weeks.  Last time he said that he was staying with a friend, not untrue.  This time we are thinking about having him say the same thing and then add that he is going to do some traveling around and use NYC as a base.  Also, true as we will be visiting my parents in MD, spending a weekend in AC and heading to New Orleans for 5 days. 

Had you mentioned your boyfriend first then you probably wouldn't have been detained. They would have stamped you in and said 'have a nice visit'. But it was your lack of honesty to begin with that caused you to b detained. You were very lucky to have been admitted a, they could (and have) put you back on a plane at your expense and you could have been banned from entering the UK for lying to the Immigration Officer.

It's not illegal to visit boy or girlfriends. But you do need to show that you're going to leave when you're supposed to and that you have valid reasons to do so -- like a job to go back to/lease that you're bound to.

Just don't lie, if they ask who you're staying with or visiting you need to be completely honest, same goes with your boyfriend as well.

Is your BF really getting the 9th degree or is he just so nervous that each time he goes through he feels like it's getting harder? Two visits to the US for such short periods of time isn't really a red flag. I don't see any reason why he couldn't say he's visiting his girlfriend each of those times. It all depends on the IO how your experience is when you go through. Sometimes I feel like I get the 3rd degree and I'm a US citizen! When my husband and I were dating and he'd come to the US with me, some IOs would ask him loads of questions, while another one actually welcomed him home.

If you're really concerned he could apply for a visitor visa to the US. This is a bit redundant since he doesn't need it and he's eligible to travel on the visa waiver. As long as he has ties back to the UK and is knowledgeable about how long he is allowed to stay in the US as a visitor, he should be fine.

He's not much of an exaggerator, so I don't think that's the problem.  We are both extremely well traveled people and have gone through immigration countless times.  The only times I've ever had problems was getting in the UK and for him it's getting in here.  I think that's really the basis of our worries.  Compared to getting into the US or UK, China, Russia, Vietnam and so on were a breeze.

In the end the choice is yours... tell the IO whatever you want, but if/when it comes time to apply for a settlement visa, don't be surprised if any lies you may have told in the past come back to haunt you.   Good Luck.

I have just started reading "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote "Eat, Pray, Love."  It begins pretty much after the end of EPL.  She and her boyfriend travel the world quite a bit, and occasionally come back to the US to her house for a few weeks at a time.  On one of the US trips they don't allow her boyfriend  back in.  He has done nothing "technically" wrong, and is not really visiting the US any more frequently than when he was in the US for business, but because he is visiting her, he is seen as more of a risk to overstay than he if was just travelling on business.  So, the OP clearly has some reason to feel nervous about the whole process.

Perhaps the OP and her boyfriend would be best served (and perhaps feel more comfortable/less nervous) to describe their visits as "holidays" or "vacations,"  and not "shopping" or other descriptions.  There is no dishonesty, but it defines their intention for the visit to be short-term, within the guidelines of the visa waiver.  Telling an IO that you are entering a country to visit a partner could be interpreted by a pedantic IO that you could have intentions of staying longer.  Again, I am not advocating any kind of dishonesty.  If you are pulled aside for further questions, then answer those questions when they are asked, but not before. 

If the OP needs to apply for a settlement visa in the future, I don't see how this would impact their application, provided they did not have any overstays.

If the OP needs to apply for a settlement visa in the future, I don't see how this would impact their application, provided they did not have any overstays.

It's called 'deception' and UKBA states that using deception (whether successful or not) is a valid reason for refusal of any visa -including settlement- under Section 320(11).

320. Grounds on which entry clearance or leave to enter the United Kingdom should normally be refused:

(11) where the applicant has previously contrived in a significant way to frustrate the intentions of these Rules. Guidance will be published giving examples of circumstances in which an applicant who has previously overstayed, breached a condition attached to his leave, been an Illegal Entrant or used Deception in an application for entry clearance, leave to enter or remain (whether successful or not) is likely to be considered as having contrived in a significant way to frustrate the intentions of these Rules.

The IO's don't really care who you are visiting, it's if you meet the visitor requiremnets or not. People make it out that if you mention BF or GF you'll be bounced, it's not that...it's about your credibility and you having the proof that you're going to play by the rules. But they do expect people to tell the truth when they are asked who they are visiting, the best way to have your future plans ruined is to lie. Just don't lie. It's simple, tell the truth! Why can't people just get that throught their heads?

How would saying I'm there for tourism and shopping, which I do while I'm there, or him saying he's using NYC as a base to travel around the east coast, which is true, be a lie?  How would that affect me getting a visa in another year?  They don't type in responses when you enter a country.  I don't even think that things are tracked well as my prior experiences of almost not getting in didn't come up the last time I visited.  On top of that, there is a notation in my passport from the IO when I almost didn't get in that wasn't remarked on.  He didn't give me the typical 6 months, but instead only to the date that I had a ticket to fly home with.  I, of course, left the day my ticket was for and had intended to all along so I didn’t care.  This could be due to my passport have three extra page inserts and being really full of stamps and visas, the IO just couldn’t be bothered to look through it all.

Also, I never lied to the IO.  I put down the bf’s address, the IO asked whose house it was and I replied that it was my bf's.  I guess the only lie is that it isn't my bf's house, it belongs to his mom.  Which is what my bf told the IO when he called him, and the IO commented on that.  I'm sorry I wasn't clear before, I'm getting mixed up with another time, prior to meeting the bf, that I had problems getting into the UK when I was going to visit friends and that caused a problem.  When they asked why I was there and responded to visit friends the IO gave me a hard time.  Both IO's referred to my Bunac visa from 2003 as part of the problem, as well as the fact that I was in the process of what turned into a 20 month trip around the world, and therefore didn't have a job.

I'm sorry to get so passionate, but this is ridiculous.  I came here for help and had really hoped that this could be a board that I could use for support and advice over the next year while I prepare to move.  I’ve been reading posts for a few weeks now and this is really an incredible source of info and entertainment.  Instead I feel like I’ve been called a liar and have been given added and invalid reasons about my life being more difficult in a year when I’m applying for a visa.  If my life is more difficult later on down the road I would think it would be because when I was in the UK with my Bunac visa I didn’t bother to get an NI number, not because I told an IO that I was there for tourism, when in fact, I did behave like a tourist.

Just keep telling the truth, bring proof of your life in your home country, and don't sweat it when you're talking to the IO. They're just doing their job by asking you a billion questions. It's nothing personal. If you're really concerned, you could look into getting a multiple entry visit visa for the UK and he could look into a visitor visa for the US.

I'm sorry to get so passionate, but this is ridiculous.  I came here for help and had really hoped that this could be a board that I could use for support and advice over the next year while I prepare to move.  I’ve been reading posts for a few weeks now and this is really an incredible source of info and entertainment.  Instead I feel like I’ve been called a liar and have been given added and invalid reasons about my life being more difficult in a year when I’m applying for a visa.  If my life is more difficult later on down the road I would think it would be because when I was in the UK with my Bunac visa I didn’t bother to get an NI number, not because I told an IO that I was there for tourism, when in fact, I did behave like a tourist.

I don't think anyone is calling you a liar or trying to be rude about your situation in any way. People here really are trying to help, but one thing you have to consider is that most of us have gone through/are going through the immigration process to obtain visas. It's difficult to watch people (not necessarily you), who take advantage of the system, which ultimately results in stricter immigration rules for everyone. We want to help people emigrate as legally as possible; part of that is making sure people are aware of rules and how the system works. And that is why people here do not condone lying or even telling half-truths to IOs, even if it's just for a short visit.

As for you saying you're going to the UK for tourism/shopping/etc isn't up to anyone here to determine if you're deceiving IOs. But believe me when I say that none of us here want to see you run into any trouble in future dealings with border control if the IO does decide you're being deceptive.

The reason for that is during one of my trips to the UK (for three weeks) I mentioned that I would be visiting him and almost didn’t get in the country.  Since then I’ve only been back once, and just told the IO that I was there to shop. 

While you may not have lied, you were less than truthful. 

Look, we have seen it happen before and are just trying to stop you before you get yourself a tougher than necessary situation. 
What CAN (not saying it will, but CAN) happen is if upon your next visit to the UK, you tell the IO your reason for visiting is shopping and general tourism and he/she questions you to the point where you then admit you are there visiting your BF (which IMO is NOT the same as shopping and tourism). You CAN be refused entry and then have a history of attempting to deceive an Immigration Officer.   Then, if/when you decide to apply for a fiance or spouse visa to settle with your BF in the future, this mark on your immigration history CAN cause you problems.