Anyone else tired of the drinking student scene?

So all of the friends I make at uni love nothing more than getting drunk and especially on friday's. I'm not much of a drinker, at all. I don't like the idea of not remembering yesterday or having a really nasty headache. I've not had more than a glass of wine/champagne in my life and I'm perfectly fine with that.

I get made fun of a lot (not in a mean way) because I'd rather go see a movie or ice skating or something rather than clubbing/to the pub. I kind of feel like there's a huge pressure to drink and lately now that it's summer, all of my uni friends just seem to be out drinking all day long everyday!

Has anyone else experienced similar issues? What do you do if you don't want to be pressured into drinking or going to the pub?

I'm sorry!  It does stink when all anybody ever wants to do is get drunk.  The thing is that for many uni students, I think being able to get drunk is still a bit of a novelty. 

I enjoy having a drink, and have done since I was probably about 20, but I'm with you that getting obliterated is just not my idea of fun.  I don't like feeling out of control, I don't like feeling like garbage, and I don't like spending a bunch of money to get those feelings!    I have friends both here and in the US that do like to get good and liquored up though.

The best I can say is that if it's in the collective mind to get drinking, I usually steer things toward going to a quiet pub or a nice place where you can actually hear each other talk.  People slow down then, and I can still have a good time without having to deal with messy drunk people and loud, terrible music.  Then later on they might decide they want to go to a club or a place that has £1 drinks, and I quietly bow out to go home. 

You could also maybe suggest doing the things you want to do (cinema, ice skating, a museum, etc.) first, and then going to the pub after.  Then you can do that, go and have a coke or something at the pub with them after, and quietly bow out before it gets to beerfest '11. 

That's all I can really think of, I hope it helps a little??  It's a tough situation, and I hope you can find some kind of solution!

That's actually a great idea! I never thought of that before lol. I did want to go bowling for my 21st last year and oh boy did I get bullied for that one! I should have said "bowling, then the pub". 

I ended up backing out of a pub crawl that a friend of mine held. They hit 25 pubs! I'm glad I didn't go.

I'm a Brit and was a student here in the UK for 5 years, but I've never really been into the major drinking scene. I was up for a big night out every now and then, but it wasn't all that often (maybe a handful of times per year)... but then again, I wasn't the most sociable person either (the drawback of being shunned by my high school friends and getting depressed and withdrawn in high school, which spilled over into uni and also of being a nerdy physics student !).

I never really had many problems with the drinking thing though - my friends at uni weren't major party people and so I was able to do the normal things like cinema, shopping, bowling, hanging out without the pressure of having to drink loads. I was happy to go to the pub and just drink Coke or only have one alcoholic drink, even if others are drinking more (during my masters I lived 15 miles from the uni, so usually I would be driving anyway and couldn't drink), and it was never really a big issue with my friends if I did that (some of them might be doing the same too). I spent my third year of uni studying in the US... and as a 20-year-old living on a dry campus, there weren't many opportunities to drink anyway, so my friends and I (also British and Australian) spent a lot of time at the movies, renting videos from Blockbuster and just hanging out in cafes and restaurants.

Sounds good to me Ksand! I'm a psych major so I wonder if degree type (physics vs. psych) matters in anway? 

Sounds good to me Ksand! I'm a psych major so I wonder if degree type (physics vs. psych) matters in anway? 

I was also part of the Dance and Erasmus/Study Abroad Societies, so the majority of the social (drinking) events I attended were with them rather than with my fellow physics students... although my best friend and housemate for 3 years at uni (including the year in the US) was also a physicist and she was more interested in sleeping, watching movies and surfing the net than in clubbing and drinking .

My best friend that I made friends with on my very first day of uni has decided to phase me out this year. She was fun to hang out with, not a big drinker. Her boyfriend decided that I wasn't good enough to be in her presence so has "forbid" her from hanging out with me. Sleeping and the net are great. Wish I could find friends similar to the ones you had!

I enjoy having a drink, and have done since I was probably about 20, but I'm with you that getting obliterated is just not my idea of fun.  I don't like feeling out of control, I don't like feeling like garbage, and I don't like spending a bunch of money to get those feelings!    I have friends both here and in the US that do like to get good and liquored up though.

The best I can say is that if it's in the collective mind to get drinking, I usually steer things toward going to a quiet pub or a nice place where you can actually hear each other talk.  People slow down then, and I can still have a good time without having to deal with messy drunk people and loud, terrible music.  Then later on they might decide they want to go to a club or a place that has £1 drinks, and I quietly bow out to go home. 

DB's friends (since forever) just had "the Great Divide of 2011" this weekend for this exact reason...  Three of the guys (out of the 7 that normally get together) have been in long-term relationships (anywhere from 4 - 7 years), and are no longer interested in getting completely obliterated and going to the club.  So the guys and their girlfriends all wandered off together when it was "club time" to go for super unhealthy food instead. We were told off later because "We're mid 20's, not 40", but beyond that, there was a very negative attitude towards ending the night early (though, since when is 1am early?)

Needless to say, we probably won't be going out with the group as a whole again for a while (if ever...)  It's really a shame, but it just seems they're now coming to understand that they're not the same people they were when they were 17-18, and they have less and less in common.

But yes, I'm past the going out and having "messy" evenings with friends. I much prefer going to a quiet pub for a single pint or a glass of wine.  I sort of wish coffee shops stayed open later here. Where I lived in NJ they were open quite late (11pm on Fri/Sat), and often featured local bands. It was always a great atmosphere to socialize in, and I'm really wondering if there's a market for it here or not.

PickledSakura, that's been happening with my friends who live in halls. Some of them are nerds and some like to party so they're always arguing over what they should be doing and the nerds get bullied for staying in and watching films. Too bad I'm not closer friends with the nerds lol.

Oh and the worst part about the drinkers is that they usually do something they'll regret and come crying to the non drinkers to ask them what happened the night before!

Yeah, I'm finding that 20s is such a weird time for social circles.  My friends back in the US sort of have Peter Pan syndrome.  They don't totally act like teenagers, but they're not really interested in settling down either.  Only the ones with "real jobs" tend to get home by midnight, but otherwise they all just go out to gigs, get drunk, go back to someone's house, listen to records and drink more.  Most of them are musicians, though, so that could have something to do with it. 

More of my friends here are happy to have a couple of pints or cocktails and go home.  Some of them do like to have a sloppy night out every once in a while (which I won't begrudge them, but I'm happy not to tag along), but they're the ones who are Scottish and already have friends from high school here that they can do that with. 

My circle of friends here was formed from all of us being on the same postgraduate course.  I think since we all had to act like "colleagues" while we were in uni, we tend to keep it relatively low key when we're together.  You know, informal dinner parties, going out for a couple of drinks, etc.  Half the time we end up talking business, like jobs, research, etc.  Of course, there have been a couple of nights when we all drank a little too much, but it was celebratory, and no one ended up puking or crying or lost their shoes or any of that random stuff that happens on seriously drunk, dramatic nights.   

Ultimately, people are going to do what they want to do, and like anything else, some friendships will run their course, or change.  The best you can do is find some kind of happy medium and maybe make better friends with those nerds! 

Peter Pan syndrome. 

I like this term for it!

I too suggest making friends with nerds. You (mostly) can't go wrong with this! For my course, it's basically me and a load of Biochemistry PhD students, so being nerdy is pretty standard.  While some may be slightly lacking in the personality department, they're certainly helpful in explaining Protein NMR!!

Just a thought here, going out drinking doesn't mean you have to get so drunk you black out or feel terrible in the morning. 

The rounds system does make it difficult, but not impossible.

'Tis the reason why I hang out with more pensioners than people my own age.  I'd rather hit the charity shops.. then a nice lunch.. maybe the occasional glass of wine.. then home to sleep it all off 

Just a thought here, going out drinking doesn't mean you have to get so drunk you black out or feel terrible in the morning. 

The rounds system does make it difficult, but not impossible.

True, tell that to the people i'm acquainted with! They almost always take it too far.

I'm on it, making friends with the nerds!

My best friend that I made friends with on my very first day of uni has decided to phase me out this year. She was fun to hang out with, not a big drinker. Her boyfriend decided that I wasn't good enough to be in her presence so has "forbid" her from hanging out with me.

Let me just say quickly that this is a huge red flag that she may find herself in trouble in the future. Any partner who tries to control your relationships with other people is bad news. If you can, keep lines of communication open with her because she may need you one day.