Can my sons mother in law have our grand daughter adopted

Hi my sons mum in law has just told me that she knows a couple that will adopt the baby my sons daughter can she do this without his permission she is apparently making my daughter in law and grand daughter homeless on 1st january since my son was refused a visa to bring his wife and child over.

It never rains but it pours hope this is the right place for this.

Love pads x

Of course your son's child cannot be adopted without his consent - unless he has relinquished all of his parental rights.

Surely if your son's name is on the birth certificate, the baby can't be adopted without his permission?  He should really get a lawyer, pads.  Is your DIL appealing the visa refusal?

Surely if your son's name is on the birth certificate, the baby can't be adopted without his permission?  He should really get a lawyer, pads.  Is your DIL appealing the visa refusal?

He can't see a lawyer until at least 3rd of january

yes his name is on the birth certificate.

I hope so I know that's how it works in britain that he would have to give his permission but don't know anything bout us law x

First of all your daughter in law would have to be deemed an unfit mother by the state they live in and proving that is sometimes very hard as she would have to be neglecting the child in some way......then the state would take the child and put her in a foster home......that is the worst case scenario.......it takes years in the US for anyone to adopt a child and BOTH parents have to consent unless both are deemed unfit which in any case I don't think your son or daughter in law fits that description.....her mother cannot just up and have someone take that child and adopt her and she could be arrested if she tries it.......what kind of mother is she anyway? Sounds to me like she needs a good swift kick in the butt......no need to worry Pads.....years ago my daughter had her children taken from her but the state never relinquished her rights to those kids but gave me full physical custody of them so she eventually got them back.  Sounds like your daughter in laws mother is trying to blow smoke someplace it don't belong and trying to scare all of you because she don't want the daughter or grand daughter there anymore......there are places she, your daughter in law, can go for help so she would not be homeless especially in the winter with a small child.........god I hate people that do this stuff just before Christmas!!!!   Another thing is she cannot say your son has abandoned the child as it takes months before that could happen also......try not to worry about it to much and try to enjoy your holidays.....I hope that the lawyer your son is seeing will have a good solution to the problem.......sorry this makes me angry to think a mother could do this to her own flesh and blood......take care pads I am rooting for you and your son!!!!!!!

Your son would have to give consent here too.  There have been adoptions in the US nullified years later because the father had not relinquished his rights.  His MIL has the right to determine who lives in her home, but she does not have the legal right to adopt out another person's child.  I hope your DIL can find another place soon, and that her immigration matters are sorted out soon, because it sounds like her (and the child's situation) has turned very bad.

First of all your daughter in law would have to be deemed an unfit mother by the state they live in and proving that is sometimes very hard as she would have to be neglecting the child in some way......then the state would take the child and put her in a foster home......that is the worst case scenario.......it takes years in the US for anyone to adopt a child and BOTH parents have to consent unless both are deemed unfit which in any case I don't think your son or daughter in law fits that description.....her mother cannot just up and have someone take that child and adopt her and she could be arrested if she tries it.......what kind of mother is she anyway? Sounds to me like she needs a good swift kick in the butt......no need to worry Pads.....years ago my daughter had her children taken from her but the state never relinquished her rights to those kids but gave me full physical custody of them so she eventually got them back.  Sounds like your daughter in laws mother is trying to blow smoke someplace it don't belong and trying to scare all of you because she don't want the daughter or grand daughter there anymore......there are places she, your daughter in law, can go for help so she would not be homeless especially in the winter with a small child.........god I hate people that do this stuff just before Christmas!!!!   Another thing is she cannot say your son has abandoned the child as it takes months before that could happen also......try not to worry about it to much and try to enjoy your holidays.....I hope that the lawyer your son is seeing will have a good solution to the problem.......sorry this makes me angry to think a mother could do this to her own flesh and blood......take care pads I am rooting for you and your son!!!!!!!

That is reassuring to know.  I hate people who do this just before christmas she knows full well if it was up to me I would be on the next plane out and fetching them both but they probably won't let my DIL in the country and my son won't take his daughter away from her.  (A fact I am reassured to here)   I don't know how she can even say such things the only thing I can offer in her defence is she lost her husband a couple of years ago I think she still grieveing but there are never any excuses in my book.

Love pads x

Your son would have to give consent here too.  There have been adoptions in the US nullified years later because the father had not relinquished his rights.  His MIL has the right to determine who lives in her home, but she does not have the legal right to adopt out another person's child.  I hope your DIL can find another place soon, and that her immigration matters are sorted out soon, because it sounds likeI  her (and the child's situation) has turned very bad.

thanks that is reassuring to know.  Yes it is bad she says she cannot afford to support them any longer and if she can't pay her taxes the state will take her house I don't know if that's true not familiar with how it works over there.  She says my GD is my son's responsibility not hers and its up to him now but how can he find them somewhere to live over there from over here and he dosen't know how things work in america the lad is already upset why is she making things worse for him.  He was putting on a brave face and sending gifts over to make up for it.

Oh well that's life I guess love pads x

thanks you both for your replies x

pads, I really with your DIL and son (and you) all the best wishes possible.  I hope that things improve soon and very quickly.  I can't even imagine how you all must feel and be going through right now.  What kind of "person" even thinks about doing that to their own kin nevermind what time of year it is?   

pads, I really with your DIL and son (and you) all the best wishes possible.  I hope that things improve soon and very quickly.  I can't even imagine how you all must feel and be going through right now.  What kind of "person" even thinks about doing that to their own kin nevermind what time of year it is?   

I know love, I know I really can't believe the women I know she has kept them now for over a year but that really isn't my sons fault.  He is doing his best.

Thanks for your kind reply love x 

Does anyone know what will happen if her mum makes good her threat to put them both out on the streets is there anywhere she can go talking specifically about the indiana illinios states.

Love pads x

Does anyone know what will happen if her mum makes good her threat to put them both out on the streets is there anywhere she can go talking specifically about the indiana illinios states.

Love pads x

I am sure there will probably be places, but it would need to look locally in the town/county she is living in. How old the daughter- this can also make a difference.

I know love, I know I really can't believe the women I know she has kept them now for over a year but that really isn't my sons fault.  He is doing his best.

Thanks for your kind reply love x 

Of course he is and I'm sure given a choice that your DIL and grand-daughter would rather be with him than anywhere, but with immigration standing in the way a bit that's not in the cards right now.

Hugs to you and your family that this is over quickly and that your son and DIL can be reunited soon.

In the meantime, perhaps she can look into shelters for women and children or it also couldn't hurt to look at welfare in her state to see if they have ANY options for them.

I don't want to speculate too much based on what little you have said, but the MIL could be in danger of foreclosure if she's behind on a mortgage but I'm not sure if that's true for being behind on taxes.

The adoption thing sounds silly to me. If she can't support both her daughter and GD, then how come she thinks she can support one? Are either of them (adults) working? If so, they may be on the borderline of qualifying for benefits and perhaps that's what the MIL wants to do.

All in all, it sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me, but not only have you not provided many details, but I suspect you may not even know all the details (through no fault of your own).

I don't want to speculate too much based on what little you have said, but the MIL could be in danger of foreclosure if she's behind on a mortgage but I'm not sure if that's true for being behind on taxes.

The adoption thing sounds silly to me. If she can't support both her daughter and GD, then how come she thinks she can support one? Are either of them (adults) working? If so, they may be on the borderline of qualifying for benefits and perhaps that's what the MIL wants to do.

All in all, it sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me, but not only have you not provided many details, but I suspect you may not even know all the details (through no fault of your own).

well from what I know her mum works part time as a school bus driver not sure how much she earns.  My DIL does not work as she looks after the baby but she gets food stamps for her and the baby.  I presume she has a mortgage I don't really know but I know she owns an house but not sure if its paid for or on mortgage.  Her husband died a few years ago so he is not bringing in a wage anymore and from what I gather she can't access his pension till she is a least 60 or something like that.

Love pads that's all I know x