Name Changing

Do I get extra feminist points because we both plan to change our names to a new name? Clearly that's the mostest feminist thing to do.

I never planned to change my name to match my husband's, for feminist reasons and because I'd want to like the new name better than my own (which, granted, is awkward, but at least I've always had this awkward last name). Given that DF also has a rather awkward last name, we both liked the idea of doing a new name together, and at least then we both go through the hassle of name-changing (which seems less convoluted here in the UK, bonus). I'm sure people will still assume that I took his name, but if they're going to judge me based on that (in a positive or negative way) I probably don't want to know about it anyway.

We're not having kids, so that's not an issue. I do like the idea of sharing a name - the fact that we both get to pick a new name together, and avoid (most of) the dynamics of which name "wins", just makes it extra cool. I think if we had vanilla last names, though, we wouldn't bother.

I still probably wouldn't because I really do agree with the idea that it's silly to give up your life-long identity when you marry.

And I suppose my feeling is that it doesn't matter which name I choose as my identity is more than a name. For me, my husband's name is easier to pronounce, easier to spell and doesn't mean getting funny looks when going through immigration in airports (my maiden name is Muslim).

I wasn't going to change my name (this was back in the '70's) but then I thought my right to live in the UK is based on being married so it might be easier in the long run if I took his name  I never had a middle name so I use my maiden name in that way (but get annoyed when people try to hyphenate it)

Screw it. I'm changing my name to Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock. 

I'm going with Anastasia Beaverhausen.

I'm going with Anastasia Beaverhausen.

I like it. Does the identity come with lots of pills and martinis?

Mmmmm... pills & martinis. 

Screw it. I'm changing my name to Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock. 

Oh!  I haven't seen Friends in FOREVER!!!!!    It kind of got replaced with Big Bang Theory when I'd seen all the episodes...... 20 times over.    hehehehe

I do love the sound of Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock.    Has a nice ring to it.  

I guess what the article is asking is that if having the same family last name is so important, why don't men ever change their names? Why is it always the woman by default who does so, and as a result losing part of her identity that she's had her whole life?

Because we essentially live in a patriarchial world.  There is some evidence that there were matriarchial peoples in prehistory, but much of the world has developed along patriarchial lines. 

It can be part of your ethnic heritage, but only half.

Hmmm.  You're right, didn't think of it that way as my heritage is the same on both sides, but yeah  good point.

I didn't like that article... particularly how she seemed to be suggesting that anyone who takes their husband's name because they like the name better, is somehow deluded. 

I took my husband's very Scottish (with a whole huge history behind it) name because I had always hated my ugly-sounding and hard to spell family name.  And also because, living in Scotland, I fancied having a Scottish surname.

I almost changed my maiden name to my now ex's last name because it is Irish and I loved all things Irish and played Irish music.  I thought it would be cool.  But in the end I didn't.  Now I have a Scottish name.

I like it. Does the identity come with lots of pills and martinis?

Mmmmm... pills & martinis. 

 

IMO the only way a name can really be representative of your identity is if you choose it for yourself.  In some cultures they do that, I always thought it was a great idea.  I changed the spelling of my first name when I was 16, and even though it seems like a small thing it made a big difference to how I saw myself and consequently to how I behaved.  Likewise, when I had the chance to change my surname via marriage, I took that chance.  Now I have a name I'm completely happy with, one I chose for myself.  Surely that's a feminist victory?

Now, if my husband and I ever split up, I might choose a completely new surname.  Why not?

I'm going with Anastasia Beaverhausen.

 

So, not Crap Bag then?

IMO the only way a name can really be representative of your identity is if you choose it for yourself.  

yep.  that's what I did.

My boy offered to change his name to mine if I wanted him to, I thought the whole idea of changing either of our names was ridiculous.

I didn't change my name because
1. I am Irish/Asian, it's faintly rare and I like that I keep part of that rather mixed heritage with me.
2. I don't like his surname as much as mine
3. I'm bloody lazy.

I agree with Historyenne wholeheartedly, feminism is about the right to choose to do whatever the hell  you want to do without being judged for it, I've certainly not judged any of my friends who have changed their names, as long as they *wanted* to, if they didn't or felt pressured into it, then I would be supportive.

Just FYI, I've had WAY more flack in the US for not changing than the UK, no one noticed/cared that I didn't change my name in the UK, whereas my US inlaws?! Jeebus. 

All of the worried threads here about passports and plane tickets in maiden names instead of married names have put me off from ever changing my name. Can't say it's for feminist reasons, just laziness